Written By Chao Huang & Nicole Webb, Edited by Nicole Webb One of the first stories about giving birth I heard in China was from Chao.. it was our first meeting, in a cafe that is probably about as westernised as you can get in Xi'an. They serve coffee, no skim milk mind you and toast smothered in honey and cornflakes. But they have cool tunes playing and it's a great little slice of normality amongst the oriental fray. Chao is Chinese but one of the most westernised Chinese people I've yet to meet. She's married to a Dutchman, but never lived out of China, so we are constantly impressed with her ability to understand the western way. So on that first coffee date, she came rushing in, almost six feet tall, long thick dark hair to her waist... again an education for me, given most Chinese I'd met were quite small and at five foot 3, I'm usually on the tall side. (I discovered Chao's from north, north, north China, up there they breed them tall, they tell me.) We ordered coffees, began introductions and before I knew it, Chao was giving us a blow by blow account of her own birth story in China. It wasn't the last story... over the course of our stay in Xi'an, I heard all sorts of "pregnancy" stories - some heartwarming, others that would make your hair stand on end and had me quietly vowing never to have a baby in China. Stories of there not being enough beds to deliver on, women in the height of labour on trolleys in the corridor. Nurses scolding women during the birth for crying. Having to pay "Guan xi" (extra money) to secure more time with the doctor or a better service. And be sure to BYO food, nappies, cleaning products and most definitely toilet paper! In many Chinese hospitals, fathers still aren't allowed in for the birth. I've heard stories of babies suffering jaundice and being kept in hospital for a week with no parental visits allowed. Stories of Chinese doctors scared to treat babies of mixed race. Stories of China's quest for the perfect baby (ultimately stemming from the one child policy) and subsequently meaning abortions legally carried out as late as eight months and often encouraged by families and doctors if there is something (often minor) wrong with the baby...(busses all over town still bear big signs advertising abortion clinics). One particularly memorable story about an American expat who had to ship her own blood in from the U.S because she was A-negative blood type and few Chinese people are. Being in this blood group also had me a little on edge truth be told, should I ever need a transfusion, in China. And then, of course, the strange (to us) things a pregnant woman can and can't do during her nine months of pregnancy. My dear friend Chao is pregnant again... in Xi'an, so I asked her to write a guest post on how things have gone so far, and what it's really like having a baby in China, today. Standing in the busy hospital, bustling with about 100 other pregnant woman, my husband and I were lost in the madness. (Actually, my husband was stunned!) We were in one of the biggest and best women and children’s hospital in China but it was totally overwhelming and knowing where to go was impossible. I'd only just found out I was pregnant, for the second time. Of course, as with everything in China, a lot of things have rapidly moved on since my first pregnancy, five years ago. But what struck me immediately, that definitely hasn't changed, is the chaos! With a population of 1.4 billion and the relaxing of the one child policy, China's hospitals are only getting more and more crowded. Guest relations are a last resort. Priority is getting through the bevy of patients in need. When you first enter the hospital, there's a woman sitting at the main service desk. My simple question,‘ Which floor should I go to?’ was answered with, "It depends if you are 100% sure you are pregnant!” Um...I try to explain, I've tested positive twice, but before I could finish, she waved me off with an impatient “Go the third floor!” We rode the elevator, squashed in with a dozen other women and their partners. The doors opened and my eyes bulged -- there before me were two giant halls - overflowing with no less than 300 people!! There was a long queue winding out of the hall and down the corridor with women lining up to pay for a heart-beat monitor; another shorter queue with women waiting on two blood-pressure machines, and the rest of the space was filled with pregnant women, their mums, husbands and probably mother-in-laws. It was utter bedlam. I tried to gently push through the crowds to get to the counter. Anxious and uncertain, I quietly stammered to the older nurse, "What shall I do when I find out I am pregnant?" She looked at me like I'd asked the silliest question and perhaps I had. She gruffly interrupted with a quick gesture to say, read the procedure on the wall, “You have eyes and are literate right?!” she chided. Side note: Doctors and nurses in public hospitals in China aren't known for their bedside manner. I struggled my way through the people leaning against the wall and read that I would need a hospital card with my name on it and enough money deposited on it to move forward in this pregnancy game! How much money is enough? Well that depends on how much trouble you want to go to. You can just deposit 20RMB ($US3) for a doctor’s appointment but then you'll have to keep running to the machine to deposit for the medicines, blood tests, ultrasounds, etc. And only then can I go online and register to a doctor’s office. (No specific doctor, of course, at this stage.) The security guards were chasing away any male who was standing in the hall that looked out of place (even though they were the equally nervous fathers-to-be); the nurses were frantically writing down blood pressure figures, and while it seemed like everyone else was sitting quietly, the noise was unbearable. And that was my first visit to an Obstetrician/Gynaecologist. (There are few general practitioners and almost everything medical is done in one of China's mammoth hospitals.) Of course, to my dismay, I had to go back again, especially as it has the best doctors in the province and every one, including me, is desperate for the very best treatment. In second or third tier cities, like Xi'an, despite having a population of nine million, private hospitals with good service don't attract the top doctors and they lack first class medical equipment. Of course, it's natural for any new parents to want the best medical care, but the extremes Chinese people go to during pregnancy to ensure a healthy baby are surely debatable. Google "Chinese pregnancy taboos” and you'll be swamped with a million 'do's and don'ts'. A few I have been warned of personally that you might find interesting (or have a chuckle at), but many Chinese take very seriously are: #1 Don't eat crabs! This can cause a difficult labor and the baby could be born sideways. (Like a crab right!) #2 Eating light-coloured food will make your baby fair-skinned, while soy sauce and coffee will ruin the baby’s skin, making them dark, and in China the fairer the better. #3 Eating a lot of black sesame will make the baby’s hair glossy and shiny like black satin; #4 No eating rabbit meat, as this could cause cleft palate (which is quite a big problem in China..and sadly one many parents can't afford to fix, resulting in a huge number of orphans.) #5 You should look at pictures of cute babies constantly, that will make your future baby beautiful (I do find this one kind of cute); #6 Food that is too “cold” should be avoided as nobody wants a miscarriage or diarrhoea. And when I was pregnant five years ago, we were all advised to wear an ‘anti-radiation vest” when sitting in front of a computer or talking on the phone, to block out radiation. When my obstetrician suggested I wear one for the whole pregnancy, I did, but with hindsight, I shouldn’t have, as that thing is thick and heavy and you were not allowed to wash it and I had to wear it for 9 long months!! So, not surprisingly, China is possibly one of the few places where airport security is willing to shut the radiation screening on the security check for a pregnant woman and agree to check her by hand — and that, is quite sweet. And did I mention that many Chinese friend's jaws dropped when they heard I'd be taking multiple planes across continents during my second and early third trimester for travel? Many of them warned me against it, shaking their heads and saying “A friend of a friend's lost their baby after a domestic flight - the doctor's explanation — "It might be true, if you haven't done any other unusual things, because there's not enough oxygen in the plane.” I know, generally speaking, pregnancy is not easy, the world over, but here where it's steeped in tradition, superstition and the (often over bearing but well meaning) advice of elders/friends/or even doctors, it goes to the next level. And the intensity only continues during postpartum, especially that crucial first month. Called "Zuo Yuezi", it is commonly practiced in urban and rural China, and means the new mums must behave according to traditional beliefs and practices. It's believed this will help the new mum regain her strength and protect her health for the future, and includes avoiding cold or salted food; staying inside the house with the doors and windows closed so no wind blows through. (It's thought the wind will blow into the bones of the new mum and cause arthritis and joint pains!) Avoid housework and limit visitors. And because the body structure has changed during pregnancy and labor, Chinese believe women should lie in bed before all the organs in the body move out of position; and definitely no showering or brushing your teeth for this month!! I was thinking these old traditions had died down a little, but recently the fairly modern-looking lady next door told me she didn't get out of her bed unless it was absolutely necessary after giving birth! My eyes widened when she told me she did NOT brush her teeth for a month. But before I could hide my surprise, she said "Yeah, you can be as judgmental as you want, but you will regret it when you have the inside problem in your body when you are older.” Then when I asked how many damaged teeth she had, she shrugged, “Just one cavity, but it was bad and I had to have a crown after the month.” Of course, these old traditions are wise customs from the past, and I do believe, that to some degree, women need enough rest and nutrition after such a major change in their body, and in the past (as little as three decades ago), women were better off following these rules because there was no hot water or heating; a lot of women were doing hard labor work and were malnourished. But with all the amenities and convenience we have now, surely it needs updating? I am not the only one to say that. This age old tradition is bringing new business and "YueZi Zhong Xin" is one. Postpartum care centres for new mums in that first month, are springing up all over the place. Charging from 10,000 RMB (about $1600USD) to 200,000 ($30,000 USD) or even more depending on how luxurious it is, they provide in-room dining up to six times a day, help with breastfeeding and breast massaging, and have nurses on hand to check body measurements. New moms can just rest in their hotel-like bedrooms until care givers bring your baby for feeding. (Sounds just like a regular western hospital, doesn't it?) ;) And now with more migrants and more rich mums trying to deliver babies in developed countries to get their children a “better” passport, there are more postpartum centres thriving in the popular Chinese residing cities like Los Angeles and Toronto. In China, we like to quote Hegel’s saying “What is rational is actual and what is actual is rational.” to explain that everything exists for a reason and these deep-rooted traditions won’t die down in the foreseeable future. After all, everything has its reason. This is China. … [Read more...]
China’s Little Emperors – Victims of the One Child Policy?
Written by Chao Huang Edited by Nicole Webb An eight second video clip featuring a boy around ten kicking his mum five times because she wouldn't let him play on her phone has gone viral on Chinese social media, much to the disgust of netizens. The shocking video was taken in a Guangzhou hospital in China’s south. In it you see the boy’s grandmother trying to block the little boy from attacking his mum. This is by no means an isolated story in China. With over three decades of the “One Child Policy” there’s a popular belief that China is bringing up a nation of ‘Little Emperors' and ‘Little Princesses.’ In fact the Little Emperor Syndrome is a genuine phenomenon and many parents have been accused of being unable to discipline their kids. Another video that went viral last November shows a young graduate beating up an older couple in the street, right outside a real estate showroom in Harbin, China’s north. It turns out, the older couple were, in fact, his parents. The mandatory and customary wedding gift given in China from the grooms’ parents of an apartment just wasn’t up to scratch. “Too small and embarrassing,” according to their spoiled son. Of course all kids (and some grown ups) are liable to have a meltdown at one time or another, and there are plenty of one child families, my current situation included, so what’s so different about China? In 1979, the one-child policy was introduced to slowdown China’s soaring population in what was then a very poor country. In order to comply with Chairman Mao's "Human Resources Are Power" philosophy, most families had multiple children but many were struggling to raise them. Growth was out of control, leaping nearly 75% from 1949 to 1976; its per capita income was about 300 yuan, or just over $48. Without the policy, China's population today would have been well over the 1.4-billion it is. While each couple was restricted to one child, there were exceptions to the rule! Couples could apply to have a second child if their first child was disabled, they were of ethnic minority or farmers in rural areas. Or, if your first child was a girl, you were given leniences. My personal story can attest to it, thanks to me being a girl, our family got a permit seven years after I was born to have their second child. My little brother, you are welcome. ;) In the cities though, family-planning regulations were strictly enforced. Couples who ended up having one child were granted an ‘Honorary One Child Certificate’ while couples who violated the policy faced high fines, loss of employment and often forced abortions. Mind you, many richer families could have another child by simply paying the high fine. Lasting more than three decades the policy has long been steeped in controversy. It’s been well documented that it led to abortions, female infanticide (from the traditional Chinese point of view, having a boy was superior) and the under-reporting of births - especially girls. It was also implicated as a cause of the stagnant birthrate, gender imbalance and much more. Many studies done on China’s ageing population and starkly low birth rate show the fertility rate in Beijing and Shanghai is about 0.7 – far below the national figure of about 1.5 and far, far below the replacement level of 2.1 children per woman. This generation of only children from the 1980s and ‘90s have now reached adulthood and many have become parents themselves. Most of the newlyweds and budding couples have no siblings, leading to what has been dubbed the "4-2-1 syndrome.” Four grandparents at the bottom, two precious parents in the middle and one priceless “Little Emperor” ruling at the top. With them all often living under the same roof there’s a definite element of “helicopter” parenting. These little ones are waited on hand and foot, wrapped in cotton wool right up until they get married and have their own children. These so called Little Emperors have also been forced to bear the burden of heavy expectations, particularly by parents and grandparents who feel they lost their chance in the Cultural Revolution. Often the grandparents are the ones doing the nurturing while the parents work and some say they tend to let them get away with blue murder. There is immense pressure on these only children to succeed academically in today’s competitive society of 1.4 billion - and it’s common for nearly half a family's income to be spent on a child’s education. Parents struggle to distance themselves from their kid’s success and with so much emphasis on educating their “precious commodities”, there’s not enough time spent on guidance and manners. As much as I believe the Chinese tradition of molly-coddling the child also plays a big part, researchers have proven the theory that sibling “deprivation” alters the relationships with parents and changes the way a child develops. And the stories of unruly, out of control kids, like those mentioned earlier are not uncommon at all. This kind of small-sized, pyramid-like family structure, together with a dramatic increase in wealth has “produced significantly less trusting, less trustworthy, more risk-averse, less competitive, more pessimistic, and less conscientious individuals,” according to an article in the prestigious journal Science. The introduction of the two child policy last year, after 35 years, has been seen by many as too little, too late, with a rapidly ageing population, under supply of young workers and over supply of males to females. Many couples don’t want a second child, fearing they can’t afford it in today’s high pressured society and they admit they also worry about giving more than one child enough attention. The name “Fuerdai” has been given to older generations of the policy, which translates as “rich second generation” or those kids of the nouveau riche. Labelled ‘spoilt brats’ President Xi Jinping has even called for national effort to make them appreciate where money comes from. Needless to say, the majority of grown up only children in China are decent, hard working people who got the best education in the world under an entire family’s support. But being the only one in your generation means your children don't have many cousins or extended families — isn’t that kind of sad? One of the biggest issues for only children in China is who will look after the elderly. It’s generally non-negotiable in China that as parents age, their children will bear the responsibility of looking after them, both financially, physically and mentally. The new 4:2:1 syndrome places a huge sense of responsibility on only children. Many wish they had other siblings as so called “Back up.” China believes the policy has prevented 400-million births, contributing to China’s unparalleled economy growth and development since the 1980’s. But others have called it China’s most radical experiment in social engineering - the media dubbing its Little Emperors, China’s loneliest generation. … [Read more...]