When talk of the ‘hotelier’ taking a job on China's Mainland first came up and we were living in Hong Kong (a hop, skip and a jump from China...aka, a 2.5 hour flight) a lot of people joked, ”Oh you can stay here in Hong Kong and he can come home every weekend — easy!” Now, admittedly (just between you and me) a teeny, tiny part of me tried to imagine what that might look like…. I had a great community, work, friends, and everything was extremely convenient….if you could do it anywhere, you could do it in Hong Kong! CUT! (picture fades to black!) Clearly a fanciful idea, at best — and for both of us, simply not an option. A) We couldn’t afford to run two lifestyles, especially when one is in one of the world’s most expensive cities. B) I’m not saying we're Romeo and Juliet but, why would I want to live away from my husband? …….. Ahhh many good reasons you may jest….think of all the guilt-free shopping! Jokes aside, ironically when we ALL did move to the middle of China, many of the hotelier’s colleagues would see me around the place and say “Oh how long is Nicole in town for?” “Um what? No, she lives here…..with me!” My slightly taken aback husband would say. Then the shocked response…”Really? She lives here, in Xi’an? (Lots of thoughtful nodding ensues..) Wow!" Call me crazy (and for the first six months and many times since I’ve concluded, I must be a little bit crazy!) but we kinda like hanging out together. And then…..”How about your little girl? Can she go to school here?” Why, yes! Yes she can! Xi’an for all intents and purposes is a city with eight million people and therefore has a pretty reasonable level of infrastructure going on. (It may all be falling apart underneath but it’s there!) (She mocks!) In all reality though, these colleagues’ questions are not so far fetched. A lot of spouses choose to stay put, in bigger (dare I say, more civilised) cities - those with a 1st tier ranking.….Shanghai or Beijing or in other cities nearby like Hong Kong and Taiwan, where heaven forbid, they can communicate. For us though - it’s one in, all in! But I’m not hear to blow wind up my own a@#! (For non-Aussie readers, basically that means I’m not here to talk about how fabulous I am for moving to the middle of China (ok, maybe just a little bit!) ;-) ) In all reality, I’ve got it pretty darn good. I get to live in a hotel bubble! I cannot complain (much). (Even if I did find myself curled up in the foetal position in my heavenly bed the first week we arrived, while the hotelier had to exit Xi’an for a three-night visa run. Alone, stranded in China!) There’s no denying, no matter which country you’re in and what sort of place you get to call home — when you open your eyes that very first morning in a foreign city, where you know not a single soul and even more terrifying, can’t speak a word of the language and everything outside looks about as close to life as you know it on Mars — AND it’s ”home” for the foreseeable future - it is a pretty daunting place to be, even for the hardiest of us. (If you're new to the game and need survival tips, check this post out!) What I really want to say though - despite those initial feelings of complete and utter loneliness and an immense desire to stay horizontal, covers over your head — the expat women that I know and often read about - are definitely not Trailing Spouses! If you haven’t heard the term, it’s a nice fancy one they give women who find themselves in a foreign country with their husband or partner who is usually contracted to work in that country. The term “Trailing Spouse” was coined in 1981 by The Wall Street Journal’s Mary Bralove to capture the concept of sacrificing your career plans to follow your partner. And admittedly, there are many sacrifices to be made for all involved with such a decision to move half way around the world. Careers are lost…friends and family are farewelled and every ounce of normality ceases to exist…..but at the same time, these things are also made. (Much to our initial disbelief.) And the majority of expat women I know will probably tell you, they find that term a little offensive (no disrespect Mary Bralove). Usually, we haven’t been dragged kicking and screaming across the globe, trailing behind as we struggle to keep up with our Commanding Partners in Chief! For the most part, the majority of expats (working or not) have a desire to see something different, experience a different way of life — and heck....Go. On. An. Adventure!! In many cases, it’s the women pushing for the move, making the final decision to take the new job and deciding where it will be and for how long. In our case, (and to many people’s surprise) I was the one who said, “Let’s go to China!” Even if it did seem mildly crazy, when places like Bali and Melbourne were on the radar. Bottom line: most of the expat women I speak with are here because ultimately (“I hate China days” and all) we choose to be. As expat partners not working, we are the ones forced to take a giant leap out of our comfort zone, making new lives for both ourselves and families. The one with the job — while challenging in different ways — can often assume ‘position normal’…. He (or she) goes to his job, each morning, just like he always has. As the spouse in a new country, there’s the unenviable job of finding a place to live; a school for the kids; a supermarket, a hair dresser, a doctor (should there be such things available). Or on the flip side, you’re the one left back home to pick up the pieces or finish off the deal — sell the house, the cars, the furniture — pack up…organise the shipping, clean the house to inspection standards! More often than not, when you and your partner agree to the big role, companies will want you there ASAP. You basically swig back that coffee gin as you hear the words “Yes, let’s do it” come out of your mouth… and the plane ticket is booked. Locked in. "Hello new life!" The first move we made, I was pregnant, working night shift and the hotelier had to take the new job within three weeks. I stayed behind to finalise the deal…I won’t say it was a walk in the park. (Thanks mum!) One fellow expat arrived into town with two kids in tow, her already working husband had hoped to be there for the first two weeks to help everyone “settle in” but was called away the very next day. There she was in a city of millions, not a soul known and not a skerrick of Chinese spoken. Good Morning Xi’an! Those first few weeks, even months can be long and lonely. Naturally the working partner’s job is intense….it’s new…there is work to be done and hours to be put in. Living in a place like Xi’an or anywhere in Asia for that matter, means there can be more travel involved than ever before. Spouses are left to fend for themselves for days on end. The routine of old is a distant memory…..as is the identity of old. (I wrote an article a few years back on making expat relationships work, here.) As women on the expat journey we propel ourselves into the arms of exotically wild foreign lands at full throttle. We struggle try to learn new languages or simply learn new ways of communicating - we become masters at charades; we force ourselves to make random new friends from all walks of life; we eat food that leaves our taste buds recoiling in shock; we visit hospitals and doctors in desperate times, with methods far removed from those we know and often we just don’t know what is being administered! We ride taxis and busses along streets filled with the unfamiliar and uncomfortable. We wake up on more days than we like, to a sky thick with pollution, we can’t see across the road — to days with no power, no water or both… We go on endless searches for our necessities that simply don’t exist. We suffer culture shock and cultural misunderstandings….. We listen endlessly and support our other half who is often immersed in a role that sometimes deals cards beyond anything you could’ve comprehended in a previous life. We say goodbye to people we care about more often than we should. We deal with tough situations without our families close by. Sometimes we just want to call it a day and go home, to a place we’re understood. But we stand our ground, knowing tomorrow is another day. Many of us have left our own burgeoning careers and while we may be the one comfortably organising the move….the reality of leaving a career behind and suddenly seeing your name on the visa application as ‘house wife’ can be pretty soul destroying (you eventually get used to it)! (Let alone being called Mr James). :roll: I went from TV News Reader to expat mum up to my ears in diapers and chopsticks, in a matter of months! You can read about that interesting period here! But I’ve seen a myriad of expat women rise up against the tide of trailing spouse stereotypes to redefine themselves and their working life….In Hong Kong alone there is an untold number of small but thriving businesses erupting across the city, all founded by expat women. But what about places like mainland China where the visa regulations don’t really allow you to work or you need to find a role that sponsors you as well, which can be nigh on impossible? Many previously working women are suddenly placed in an environment where they really have no choice but to be the home maker. This is where your expat tribe comes in and a much needed sense of adventure. Once you meet other expats in similar situations, the bond is built quickly and negotiating foreign life is infinitely easier, not to mention empowering. We develop lifelong friendships with global citizens, we see the world in a way we could never have imagined, we travel, we experience once in a lifetime moments and we grow and learn about ourselves and other cultures, beyond anything we believed possible. We are expat women — we don’t trail behind, we blaze a path ahead! Pssst, The definition of Trailblazer: A person who makes a new track through wild country! Proud to share this one with Seychelles Mama's #MyExpatFamily … [Read more...]
Calling SOS: An Expat in China’s Worst Nightmare
“Ummm….you want her to do what, where?!” “On an A4 piece of paper, no less?!” The doctor’s office, Xi’an circa 2015. Ask any expat in Xi’an, what their worst fear is, living in China….and usually at the top of the list (next to pollution) is: getting sick! Or even worse, your kids getting sick. I’m not gonna lie, healthcare in China, well, second-tier China at least, is not as we know it. The inevitable language barrier only adding to what can range from a rather amusing experience (you can read all about a couple of such trips to the local doctor we had here, including our visa medical) to a downright terrifying one! Rewind this time 12 months ago and my ‘Small Person’ got sick with gastro. A bug that literally debilitated her for about five days…and then of course went through most of the family including our visitors (an expat’s second worst nightmare)! With no sign of improvement it was time to get our three year old to a local doctor, which in China usually means the hospital. With me down and out, wavering in and out of any coherent ability to function, the hotelier had the unenviable task of dragging her out of bed and taking her to the one and only English speaking doctor in the city. On cue she was asked to give a number two sample. All relatively straightforward, I guess…except for the small fact that she hadn’t eaten for days, so this was about as likely to happen as a China winter with no pollution! Alas, this small but pertinent issue aside….she was encouraged to produce it there and then, IN the doctor’s room, ON the doctor’s floor, ON a piece of A4 paper (actually, make that half a piece of A4). What I would give to see the look on the hotelier's face! ;) Thankfully that and the time we had to take Small Person with croup in to the hospital to use their nebuliser (we’ve since invested in our own to save on the trauma) means our hospital experiences have been limited. For other expats, it seems lessons have been learned. A recent Facebook status by a fellow expat says it all: “My boy fell and split his head open, we opted to try and fix it ourselves to avoid the trauma of a Chinese hospital.” Expats who live here for any length of time become masters at diagnosing and treating themselves with a host of medical supplies they’ve stocked up on from back home. I’ve even heard the story of one woman who’s been here for eight years and literally lanced and sterilised her child’s infected toe, herself! The trauma of this far less than the ordeal of visiting a local hospital. Another friend went to the doctor about a small gastro problem (unfortunately more common than us Wai Guo ren (foreigners) would like) and was promptly admitted to hospital, indefinitely. In what could be the worst situation to be sans toilet paper, his bathroom was devoid of all manner of toilet accessories! (BYO?). And to top if off, his only option for dinner, extremely spicy, pickled food. Not so soothing for the Du zi (tummy). Needless to say, he checked himself out, pronto! A girlfriend’s little girl contracted pneumonia, which here in China means a daily trip in to the hospital to be treated with intravenous antibiotics. Oral antibiotics aren’t given out and there is only one type of broad spectrum antibiotic used for all of the potentially different strains. After three days of sitting in a chair lined up with a bunch of other sick children, her little hand taped to cardboard and the IV inserted, they insisted she be admitted to hospital. (FYI children under the age of two have the IV drip administered in their forehead! Not the most comfortable or comforting sight!) My friend had the good fortune of being in a private hospital, which of course, like anywhere in the world is more often than not a step up from the public hospital. Even better at 600RMB a night, it was the VIP room. Still, no food was supplied….and it was BYO towels, soap....and Dettol. While you might be expecting hygiene in a hospital (of all places) to be up to scratch…let’s just say, here, in China, it’s not exactly an environment awash with disinfectant. My friend was partially relieved to see a mop present, but that relief was short-lived when she realised it was used (usually minus cleaning supplies) about as regularly as the sheets were changed….weekly! Another friend has regular medication she needs to go into hospital, to get, weekly (because they won't administer any more than a week's dose). There is one dosage administered for ALL patients regardless of the patient’s individual requirements. (Is it just me, or does this have disaster written all over it?!) And I'm guessing it's not a good sign when the doctor asks you 'which' medication you think you might need?! "Wait, what I have the flu and you want to give me an injection?" In China one such medical thought process is that an injection is far more beneficial because it enters the bloodstream quicker than oral antibiotics. In all reality, if someone is seriously ill, most expats won’t hesitate to fly themselves or their children out to a major city like Hong Kong for treatment. Thankfully there is a medical helpline called International SOS, whom most foreign companies are affiliated with. You can call up and speak English to professional doctors and send x-rays and test results to them to garner a second opinion, anytime you need to. They’ll also arrange for you to fly out. (Note: make sure you have international health insurance because without it, anything like this costs a small fortune and local health plans generally won’t cover evacuation or repatriation coverage)!! For anyone, it’s a frightening thought to be stuck in a foreign hospital, let alone one where you don’t speak the language and don’t understand the process…. health insurance is an expat's best friend the world over, here in China, it's a necessity - especially with international medical insurers offering direct settlement at expat-friendly hospitals like United Family Hospital and Parkway Hospital in first tier cities like Shanghai and Beijing. Handy to know, if you don't want to fly out in a non-emergency event. Despite these glaring anomalies that exist between the Eastern and Western medical worlds, healthcare in China has come a long way. The Chinese government recently declared the pursuit of “Healthy China 2020,” a program to provide universal healthcare access and treatment for all of China by the year 2020. As of now 95 per cent of Chinese have some form of health cover but as encouraging as that is, bringing a population of 1.3 billion people out of the third world and into the 21st Century is not without it’s challenges. While it means more locals than ever before now have access to major healthcare centres and hospitals - these centres are still playing catch up -- the number of properly trained doctors and nurses are struggling to keep pace with demand for care. In China, it's unusual to get a formal appointment, mostly its about lining up and that can mean standing in an overcrowded room for hours on end to register yourself and then pre-pay your account. Often, no matter how sick you might be, if there is no signature or no money, treatment is put on hold! Note: A) This is potentially a little tricky if you can’t read the forms and B) a little dangerous if it’s a life and death situation. Medical professors coming to Xi’an have declared the city 30 years behind in modern medical techniques. Unfortunately being a doctor in China is not all it's cracked up to be. It's not considered as prestigious a role as it is in the Western world and GPs are chronically underpaid. While the government caps the prices of common medicines, other prescriptions come with kickbacks for the doctor leading to overprescription of expensive drugs, imaging tests and unnecessary and lengthy hospital stays. (Have gastro, don't expect a quick exit!!) For many Chinese families, an emergency medical procedure means going into debt. There is still a widespread perception that to get top quality care you need to show doctors Guan xi (relationship) or hong bao — red envelopes stuffed with cash. A Chinese friend who had her baby in Xi’an a few years ago, had to do just this to make sure she could have her baby in what was deemed one of the city’s better hospitals. Hospitals in China are categorized through a system of numbers and letters, with the highest quality hospitals in the country being allocated the number 3 and the letter A. A 3B hospital will be slightly lower quality and 3C even lower still. Husband’s are still generally not allowed into the delivery room for the baby's birth….and the protocol is often on the patients to fend for themselves. My friend’s delivery was by no means straightforward and happened quickly. She had to hoist herself from the waiting bed to the delivery bed with no help whatsoever (mid labour)! (In China, most doctors won’t lift you for fear of being held liable, if something goes wrong.) The same happened when the hotelier was visiting a sick colleague in hospital (with a head injury, I might add) and he had to be lifted from one bed to another. His parents and my husband had the honours. During the delivery of my friend’s baby, the nurse refused to do a much-needed episiotomy unless she signed the papers, right then and there, during the height of labour!! No pen? What! Just reach for that handbag above your head! While you’re at it, be ready to write down the time, weight and date of birth yourself! (What do you think this is, a hospital!!??!) Perhaps as an expat, the best option is to stick with TCM - Traditional Chinese Medicine! Most hospitals also have a TCM section where you can have a consultation and purchase your remedies there and then. It is after all, considered China's national treasure. Proven over thousands of years, how can you go wrong? As they say....when in Rome..... This is China! Psst.. a new expat and (after i've scared the c--p out of you) need to look at health insurance plans?....This might help. … [Read more...]
Aliens welcome: I Survived a Year in China!
They call us aliens. Yes, it’s true. On our permanent work visa that allows us to live here as a pseudo Chinese for a year, it states very clearly “Alien!” For all intents and purposes, I often feel like I have indeed been plucked from my former life, whisked past Mars, Jupiter and Saturn and plonked down on another planet, far off in the galaxy. (Cue: mini 3-wheeler truck rolling past with a pink umbrella spouting from the engine.) 12 months in, here I am! I’m sitting here looking at that bloody Pagoda! All seven concrete tiers of the ridiculously ancient, mystical monument towers over me from every angle, a constant reminder, “You’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto!” It will always be symbolic of my time here in China…it’s the first thing I saw when I arrived and if I stand outside in the very same spot (it was raining like it is today) I can easily take myself back to that moment in time…. the pit in my stomach that felt like it was so heavy it might actually bring me to my knees. Where are we, what have we done? The smiles hiding the sheer angst bubbling under the surface….the tears ready to spill without warning. It’s an intense feeling of utter alienation from everything and everyone swirling around us in a fog of foreignness. The loneliness engulfs you like a thick blanket…..(oh wait, was that smog?!) I’d lived in Hong Kong for four years, but this was an acute (and surprising) case of culture shock. I thought I had prepared myself, well….but in hindsight nothing can prepare you for the onslaught of crotchless pants, earnest street spitting and footpaths that double as roads! I jest…but in reality, my inability to crack a smile for the first few weeks was a pretty poignant sign, I was in a place far flung from any my imagination had dared to go. I will never forget the day we drove through town, all sitting in the back seat, peering out the window as we wove in and out of bedlam traffic, speeding past a world of wild, unchartered territory. Amongst the mayhem, I saw a western-looking woman walking her toddler dressed in a princess costume….all I wanted to do was wind down my window and throw my business card through the crowds at her…shouting: "Hey, I’m here!" Sheer desperation for a fellow expat in a sea of foreign faces! 12 months in and hindsight is indeed a wonderful thing! I have found my expat tribe, all plonked on the planet of Xi’an from every corner of the earth (a regular sanity check); not to mention some fascinating locals, who’re teaching me a thing or two about the phenomenon that is China. I no longer notice the intense staring at the “Laowai” with the blonde hair and strange facial features, who towers above most locals. (Yes, that’s me, I am officially tall at five feet 3.) My small person doesn’t try to wrap herself in my dress, hiding from the zealous strangers desperate to snap a picture of her pale skin and blonde locks. For the most part, she tolerates the constant clicking and we have mastered the ability to shut out the crowds slowly (but surely) closing in on us, if we dare to stop in one place for too long. (The mantra is “Keep moving!") We know enough Chinese to mutter “Enough, thanks, she’s tired” if we need to. Sometimes we even play up to the farce that is being ‘papped’ and pose with all our might in fits of giggles. Hollywood, so close but so far. We know to keep to the side of the footpath and always have one ear listening out for the distant beeps of cars/bikes/Tuk Tuks creeping up behind us….. Now, when I am in any other city that doesn’t ‘beep,’ it seems eerily quiet. We are also proudly adept at crossing the road… no longer finding ourselves stranded on one side, waiting for an eternity until all cars are seemingly absent. (This will never happen.) We know that no matter how good we think we’ve ordered something in our best Chinese, it will almost always be misinterpreted. And that’s ok. If we are lost (in translation), we can somehow muddle through enough Chinese to get to where we want to go without enduring a mild panic attack. (That said, a phone battery dying whilst out of the bubble is still a small catastrophe!) The sobering reality has dawned on me, I will forever be learning Chinese. I will never master the Chinese language in one year, let alone two or possibly even ten. It is a life-long education. (Currently, I spend a lot of the time guessing what people are saying from the one Chinese word I manage to get...my life is a world of charades.) A ride from A to B no longer induces heart palpitations or needs to be taken with wide eyes firmly shut. We can appreciate the scenery before us. I am now used to random people attempting to enter my house with a loud “Nihao” or appearing on my balcony at any time of the day or night, often with a sneaky peek at the Laowai in the gold fish bowl. The noise of loud, rumbling fire crackers cascading through the morning air is now heard without so much as a raised eyebrow; as is the tune ‘It’s a Small World’ signalling the road cleaners are out in force to spray away the desert dust. Those mysterious drones overhead I was convinced were spying on me are just kites…..(no, really)! Skim milk is an anomaly. Ask for it to practice your Chinese, but you will mostly be met with a smiling ‘Mei You!’ (Have not.) Speaking of dairy, yoghurt is a drink. Period. Must use straw at all times. The internet or lack of STILL exasperates me to the point of turning me into a crazy woman on the verge of becoming seriously unhinged, as does the constant turning on of a VPN to have access to anything remotely useful, but I figure it’s not forever, and I breathe! I’m acutely aware that everything I do, say, eat, has an alternative meaning to it in China. Tradition runs deep and is not to be messed with, like ever. If I am sick I have either worn too little or too much in the way of clothing. I will be offered coke with ginger to fix my ailment and if this fails, next stop is an IV drip, in hospital. Umbrellas are the accessory du jour, come rain, hail or shine. There is an umbrella for each season…. and never the twain shall meet. In fact a “sun umbrella” is made of reflective material to ward off the heat. White skin is king and the sun must be avoided at any cost! Even though I display clear signs of tanned sun damaged, Aussie skin, I am somehow hailed as the fair-maiden with desirable silky white skin. Note: No matter how hot it is, taking your shirt off (if you’re a man) is a no no! Rolling it up just underneath your arm pits is an accepted fashion statement. (Six pack not required!) The ubiquitous 'squat toilet' no longer sends me into state of mild panic....running for home. I can take it on with an "I am woman, hear me roar!" attitude...(who am I kidding)! There is nothing fast about Xi’an. It is the complete (end of the earth) opposite to Hong Kong’s 24 hour frenetic city on steroids pace. It's a long (noisy) wait for most things. A sense of humour isn’t a recommendation, it’s a prerequisite. So to this day, every day I am entrenched in a steep learning curve; a journey through the fascinating motherland that is China — an unparalleled universe that thankfully accepts aliens like us, in all our foreign glory! Like ET, I often want to phone home. But...we survived! A new country, a new culture, a freezing winter, heavy pollution, a scorching summer, a new school, a new job, a new hotel, a new life. One hell of an adventure. I’m glad this is not ‘my forever.’ But I'm happy it's for now. 12 months in….. this is China Proud to share this post with Seychelle Mama's #MyExpatFamily … [Read more...]
Repatriation is Not a Dirty Word!
It’s a Completely Different Ball Game: Tips to play it well! "Expat!" In my current circles, it’s a word tossed around between friends like a ball between team players in a sports game. Everyone has days where they hold on to the ball a little tighter, clinging on to all that it represents; especially when it's often the only way to survive in a foreign country. Other times we toss it away, eager to pass the ball on to someone else - sick of all that it means and brings…the distance from loved ones, the never-ending goodbyes, the isolation, the challenges. Expatriating is never easy, to start with at least….it takes time to rack up points on the board and feel like a winner in a new country. At the risk of overdoing the ball analogy, its like playing for a new team after years of bonding with another. Scary as hell, but once you bond with your new team, its high fives all ‘round…you play the game and you play it well! But what about repatriating - it's not a word that we bandy about with the same energy as we do expat! In fact amongst expats it's often a dirty word! After all, it means the ride is over…..the adventure is finished. We are homeward bound. Or as the actual definition says: “The process of returning a person to their place of origin or citizenship.” You are forever changed. Hell, I’m gonna keep using this ball analogy, I like it! Repatriating is a whole different ball game! I like how Naomi Hattaway sums it up in her post "I am a Triangle." For some expats entrapped in all that is expat life, it’s the unthinkable… no one wants to talk about it. For others, whose time is up, it’s the unavoidable and for many it’s the inevitable and more often than not the desirable….but whatever lures you back home, it usually comes with the age-old question, when is the right time to pack up and call it a day? Many of the expats I know (including myself) have been bouncing the expat ball for more than a few good years now……but in their heart of hearts they know it’s time to think about hanging up their boots and returning home. Once you get over the mental hurdle, it starts to come up in conversations more regularly, and is discussed more intently. Usually there are three big questions: Where to live? Where to work? And (if you have children) where to send them to school? Expats are expats for many reasons….amongst the most obvious, the desire for a change of pace, the excitement of life in a new country, the thrill of an adventure…….but it’s not all about the hair-raising shenanigans, it's also for the lifestyle it more often than not affords….and the career prospects it brings. Most of us are living in another country because our job or our partner’s job has taken us there; while it's often in a strange country, where your native language isn't spoken, the culture is poles apart from your own and you can't get a block of Cadbury's chocolate to save yourself (oh wait! That's just me!) there are also many benefits that come with the expat title. Whether it’s free or cheaper housing, paid school tuition, a driver, regular trips back home, health insurance and/or a higher salary than you were previously afforded, lower tax rates or no tax at all; it generally brings advantages you wouldn't normally get at home. Expats are often in countries less developed than their own which means everyday life is cheaper, whether it's eating out at local hole in the wall, the low cost of public transport, getting hired help at a fraction of the price it would cost back home, or being able to afford regular exotic holidays. And for some living the expat lifestyle, things like car payments, utility bills and groceries are taken out of the equation. It’s easy to see why expats become addicted to their new life overseas. Once the expat bug bites, it bites hard and giving it up, understandably no easy task. For many expats who moved away for two years and that two became ten; one child became three….returning home with excess baggage means your lifestyle expenses have probably changed quite dramatically, compared to life before moving away. This makes heading home particularly daunting when you know the cost of living is incomparable. Housing in your home country may have doubled since you left….the cost of food skyrocketed, school fees risen with the rest of the world and babysitters these days, well they’re not happy with a packet of chips and a good movie! Then there are the job opportunities. Many expats are in the countries they are in, for the sheer job availability factor. Back home, these kind of jobs just don’t exist and if they do, the pond is small. There’s also the psychological affect. When you go overseas as an expat everything is brand spanking new and different - while it’s challenging at times, it’s ok because you expect it to be. Your brain allows you to process these idiosyncrasies as all part of the "cultural" experience. When you go home, you expect things to be the same as when you left, but often they’re not and there's no putting it down to being in an exotic/bizzare location. Psychologists say, "The home expats return to can feel as strange as the foreign land they once travelled to!" While a lot of effort is put into expatriating, global companies are being asked to think about both ends of the deal these days or risk losing valuable employees all too soon after they’ve arrived home. So how do you repatriate and how do you do it well? 1) Be Emotionally Prepared There's no denying, it can be emotionally tough, moving, well anywhere! Repatriating, it's important to acknowledge, things WILL have changed, not just for you and your family but also the family and friends you're returning to. There's a good chance, your family and friends will treat you as the same person who left, and you’ll probably find yourself acting the same way. Those old patterns will take a while to change once you’re back home, and sometimes it may feel like nothing has really changed at all. Did you ever leave? This article in Reach to Teach Recruiting explains how important it is to Let It Go. Naturally, the bonds you've created with expat friends are strong - when you’re living in another country it can feel like you connect with an instant community of likeminded friends, but make sure you also keep in touch with old friends and family. With today’s technology…you have the ability to stay connected! It's easier to know what friends are up to, what’s happening in their lives and of course keep in regular touch with loved ones. Prepare your children mentally for the return home. Adjusting to move back home is a bigger challenge for children who have grown up in a different country. Make sure that they are feeling somewhat settled before putting them into another new school. Remember you can't recreate your old life, this is a new chapter. Keep travelling, even in your home country. Try to see things you've seen in an effort to quell that yearn for adventure. 2) Be Financially Prepared There are a few key things to think about when it comes to finances when you repatriate. You may have been a non-resident in your home country, for taxation purposes, so you'll need to re-register with the relevant taxation body. Make sure you renegotiate your contract if you are heading back home with the same company; if you're taking on a new job, make sure your salary is sufficient to cover the cost of living. Some points to think about: interest-free loans or loans at favorable rates to buy a house. Check local banks/building societies in your home town offering competitive fixed home rates like Newcastle Permanent. Ask about car or other living expenses; assistance for re-housing; food allowance; the cost covered or partially covered for children’s education; compensation for the loss of your spouse’s income. Be aware that, if you haven't kept a bank account open in your home country while you've been living overseas you may not be entitled to any credit (including a mortgage) on your return. Some repatriation experts recommend (if you are in a position to do so) buying a place back home while you’re still living away and going there for vacations and holiday periods. “This way, you develop your relationships within the community.” And when you go there to live permanently, it will feel more like home, where you belong,” says Gwen Sawchuck. Financial advisors say transferring money back home can be an option to manage savings, investments and mortgage commitments. Check out Mint Mocha Musings partner Clearfx. 3) Be Practically Primed Repatriating as a resident is naturally different in each country. Make sure you've organized a shipping company if you have things to take home; get quotes just as you did when you left. Check on pet relocation/quarantine guidelines, schooling for your children (do you need to have deposits down in advance?) research where to live, the best suburbs and what you can realistically afford. Investigate the jobs market…how easy/hard will it be to find work. Organise for your mail to be forwarded and tie up loose ends with your current place of abode, including closing bank accounts, phone lines and housing leases. Check you're covered for medical care and dental care. Do make sure all of your documents like educational certificates, birth certificates, licenses, medical certificates, marriage certificates etc are not in the shipping and easily accessible when you return home. You'll need them. (Trust me!) The truth is….reality bites. Repatriation can be harder than leaving…and just as it does when you become an expat….it takes time to adjust. The game's not over….it's just a new season! "Cherish those memories and experiences, but don’t judge the present against them. There are so many more adventures to find, so many more journeys to take—but you will never see them if you’re always turning your face toward the past." … [Read more...]
Why Every Expat Needs a VPN in their Life: How to Choose One
“How do you access things like Facebook and your blog in China?” It’s one of the more common questions I get asked since moving here. And I might add, it’s a very good question! Sometimes I wonder myself! Well, it’s all thanks to a little help from a friend, called VPN. Now for someone 'technically challenged' like myself, admittedly in the past I’ve (purposely) stayed in the dark about things that happen in cyberspace. Let’s just say, it may as well be a parallel universe and never the twain shall meet! But coming to China where there is a great deal more control on what you can easily access, has forced me to open my eyes and focus on learning about those little things that can make my daily life a lot less chaotic in a foreign country. (As if it wasn’t bad enough having limited access to chocolate in China, not to mention those gazillion other things you can’t get here; having no internet or access to the things online that make your world go round can send you, quite literally, around the twist.) In fact, in all honesty, it is a wonder this laptop I’m using is still in tact, for there have been many moments of utter frustration where I’ve almost hurled it over my balcony. (Yes! That explains why the U key is missing!) If you’re not really up with the ‘censorship’ situation in China, let me give you a brief backgrounder. China's internet control system is considered more extensive and more advanced than in any other country in the world. Government authorities not only block website content but are also known to monitor the internet access of individuals. (I’m told there is actually a department within the local police bureau here, to specifically monitor internet use.) It is taken VERY seriously. Amnesty International claims that China "has the largest recorded number of imprisoned journalists and cyber-dissidents in the world." You may wonder why? Basically, the Communist Party of China wants to protect the nation’s values and political ideals from any outside influence. There are many other reasons and they go far deeper than this simplified sentence, but for obvious reasons, I will let you delve a little deeper of your own accord. For people like me, just your average expat in China, things I’ve previously taken for granted like using search engine Google (almost every waking moment) is blocked; although China has its own local search engine, Baidu, it’s in Chinese and when translated into English is not exactly ‘easy reading,’ and search results aren't always fruitful. Facebook, Twitter and YouTube are also blocked. In their place is social media platform ‘We Chat’ which is, for all intents and purposes, a great combination of Facebook, Twitter and What’s App combined. While it’s good for keeping in touch with new friends I meet in China and for keeping me up to date on the latest events in this sprawling nation; if I want to connect to the majority of my friends and family on Facebook or access my blog that helps me make a living…..along with Twitter and Instagram for that matter -- I need to call in the assistance of my good friend, the VPN. (Who I am VERY grateful for!) So what’s a VPN? VPN stands for Virtual Private Network. Essentially, it’s a way to take your public network, private. What you view online is private to you, even when you are using a public network like your internet provider or a Wi-Fi connection. In layman’s terms, every device on the internet has an IP address, which is a unique address, kind of like your home address. Just as your address gives away the country you’re in, so does your IP address. A VPN in effect allows the user to ‘trick’ websites on your whereabouts - connecting you through a server the VPN provider has set up in a specific area. From there, the IP address is made private and the person can view the internet with no restrictions or filtering in place. For example, if my VPN is switched on (which is just a click of the icon on my computer or phone) it will list a number of countries I can choose from, with a top few that give the best results for my area. Whether it be Los Angeles, Hong Kong or Australia, my address is re-routed to these countries allowing me to access whatever I normally could if I were in these places. However, it’s worth noting, as the Great Firewall of China becomes increasingly sophisticated, many VPN’s are being blocked or becoming harder to use. A couple of months ago one of the most popular paid for VPN’s - Astrill - was blocked on all Apple iPhones for at least a month in China, just like that! VPN’s aren’t just used by expats in remote locations though. Thousands of global companies use them for security - to protect valuable information on their site. It’s also a great way to bolster your own security in this high-tech era, to ensure no one is snooping on your activity, especially if you’re online in a café or somewhere like an airport. Many people use them for shopping online, on sites normally restricted to particular countries or watching programs/movies that can’t be accessed in their part of the world, like Netflix’s broad host of programs in America that may not be available in the UK or Australia. And let's be honest, what expat can live without Netflix!! (Mind you, Netflix is cracking down on people using other means to access country's programs they're not in, so it's harder to watch with a VPN. I currently need two connected at once!) Maybe you just want to watch something live as it happens like the Olympics instead of waiting for the network in your country to broadcast it? Are VPNs legal? To the best of my knowledge, using a VPN is perfectly legal so long as you’re not using to for illegal activity that causes harm to others. So, how exactly do you choose a VPN? There are now over 100 VPN services available, so it’s quite difficult to find the one that suits you. And let me just say, not all VPNs are created equal. For me it was largely a case of word of mouth and reaching out to foreigners living in China and those friends who’re technical experts! I also looked at the online site, BestVPNServicemag.com – they’ve done a lot of the leg work and even have a Top Ten VPN comparison list which was extremely useful for a non tech-head like myself. And another list from PCMag.Com Here are my top tips when choosing a VPN. #Price varies, so be sure to do your homework. Some are free but not as reliable. Work out how much you're going to rely on a VPN. Is it negotiable or a necessity? Signing up for a year is usually cheaper than month by month. #Check the compatibility with your computer and mobile system; i.e some work better with iOS, others with Android. #Check how many operating systems you can use the VPN on. Some only allow you to use it on your laptop while others allow you five different networks: say on your house computer, two lap tops and two mobile phones. #If you’re an expat try to sign up before you arrive at your destination, just in case you can’t access their website. (This is particularly relevant to China.) #Check the powers that be aren’t cracking down on specific VPN’s before you sign up and realise they’re blocked in your country. #Make sure the servers have a variety of locations to choose from, especially if you’re planning to shop on specific sites or want to watch something from a certain country. #Just because you have a VPN there’s no guarantee your access will suddenly be super fast and reliable. It’s a remarkable tool but it’s not foolproof. If internet is patchy, chances are your VPN will be too. So, there you have it….. my new best friend in China…. The VPN. I prefer to call it a VPS - Virtual Protector of (my) Sanity. And breathe…… Psst, For the record, I'm currently using three VPNs - depending on who gives me the goods when I need them! Astrill, Express VPN and Hide My Ass. … [Read more...]
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