Hello my friends! Break out the champers, because CHINA BLONDE - the memoir is here!!! If you've been following Mint Mocha Musings for awhile now, like I know so many of you loyally have since 2012 (yes it's been that long), you've probably heard me talking about writing a book.... a lot. And, you've probably wondered if I was making it up -- I don't blame you, it's taken that bloody long! But let me tell you, there is nothing remotely quick about writing a book. I've always wanted to write a book, don't all journos think they've got a book in them? Ha! Probably. But, in all reality, I had no idea what my first book would be about....that is until I got to China. Then it all became 'oh so clear'. Xi'an - this fascinating second-tier city of nine million people, the first ancient capital of China. A city bearing thousands of years of history. Fascinating... until I had to live there. You may remember, culture shock hit me head on like a lightening bolt. Waking up that very first morning, daring to peek outside the hotel window, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Sure, I'd lived in Hong Kong for four years, the Pearl of the Orient. I'd been spoilt and I'd grown to love the glittering harbour city so fiercely, I wanted to call it my forever home. I also, rather foolishly, thought the fragrant harbour had me prepared for mainland China. How wrong I was. … [Read more...]
Gidday, Ni Hao, Kia Ora……Can You Have More Than One Hometown?
What’s the first thing you ask someone you’ve just met? “Where are you from?” Or “Where’s home for you?” Especially if you’re an expat, right. The words literally roll off your tongue, after, “Hi, I’m So and So.” And even if you’re not living overseas, it doesn’t take long for the inevitable question to crop up in conversation, “So, is this your hometown?” I never quite know what to say to that - "Well, I'm from Australia, but I was born in New Zealand....but we've been living in Asia, ummmm." Recently, I went back to my place of birth, New Zealand. It’d been 15 years! Needless to say, I was taken aback when the friendly lady at Customs said “Welcome Home!” And just quietly, it had me feeling a little bit nostalgic. Living overseas, as in not Australia, for a significant chunk of that 15 years, meant it was no longer a hop, skip and a jump across the ditch and well, life just got in the way. This time though, I had my husband, my Small Person and my mum along for the ride. I invited (some may say coerced) them into taking a trip down memory lane with me. We went back to the suburb I grew up in, we did a drive-by past several of my old houses, my primary school - still looking startling familiar after 40 years, and we pulled into the carpark of my old high school… which was also my mum’s! (Oh the memories!) We even, at my insistence, went down to the beach, where I made my first sandcastles and spent hours wiling away the dreamy days of an idyllic childhood with my grandparents, who’ve long passed. The trip back, got me thinking about the importance of place. Psychologist say, memories are cued by the physical environment. When you visit a place you used to live, these cues can cause you to revert back to the person you were when you lived there. The rest of the time, different places are kept largely separated in our minds. (Sorry if I reverted back to that sulky teenager who lived on a diet of potato scallops and milkshakes.) Does our birth place hold a piece of our heart, indefinitely? Growing up spending many a school holiday on my granddad’s boat, I'm definitely at my calmest and happiest when there’s water within my eye’s reach. Obviously, the factors that influence our identities are too numerous and complex to investigate in this single post but just how much or how little our birthplace shapes us, it seems, after doing some research of my own, is still debatable. For me, after 31 years in Australia, give or take a few, I feel more like an Aussie than a Kiwi. There’s little trace left of the former ‘fush n chups’ accent (except when I’m tired or have too many vinos); the sunburnt country long ago captured my heart. But here’s the clincher, I’m still not an Aussie citizen. Gasp! (Luckily, I’m not going into politics!) A couple of reasons have stopped me, mostly I credit laziness to this inability to take the citizenship test! I mean, I’ve covered more Australia Days as a journalist than I’ve had burnt sausages on a barbie. And in those early days, being a Kiwi in Oz, didn’t have much of an impact on those all important things, like free university tuition, etc.. But maybe, just maybe there’s a little bit of guilt or is it reluctance to let go? Does giving up your allegiance to your home country mean you’re saying goodbye to your past? (There was no dual citizenship back then.) I still find myself torn whenever the All Blacks are playing the Wallabies (I mean we all know who’s going to win, don’t we)? ;-) And I get a chill down my spine when the Haka plays - sometimes I have to stop myself from launching into the actions. When I’m called on to recite a song (and this happens more than you might think) I always choose the Maori song, Tutira Mai Nga Iwi, I learned in primary school. And I still miss certain things unique only to the Land of the Long White Cloud. Namely and most importantly my family members who still reside there, and I’m still partial to a Chocolate Thins biscuit, a Snifter or a glass of L & P. People often tell me, the fact that Ava, our small person, was born in Hong Kong and lived in Asia until she was six years old will have a big impact on her. Will it, I wonder? She’s what they call a Third Culture Kid (TCK) - a phrase coined by an American sociologist, referring to a child who’s spent a significant part of their formative years outside their parents culture. (Her Dad's English just to add to the equation.) People who fit the TCK bill have a tendency to mix and merge their birth culture with their adopted culture, creating one of their own: a third culture. Born in Hong Kong to a New Zealand-born mum, an English dad, (both her and him with Aussie citizenship) and three formative years in Xi'an China. Where's home? There’s no denying she’s more at home with chopsticks; and dim sum and rice are her favourite foods. She's more au fait with Chinese New Year than Australia Day, and perhaps it’ll be a favourite Chinese song she remembers in time over an Aussie one. Ask her where she’s from - it's undoubtedly Hong Kong. But Australia's blue skies and endless parks have definitely hit her sweet spot. For me, living in Hong Kong and Xian, my roots became more poignant than ever. So far away from everything I knew, we celebrated ANAC Day and Australia day with more gusto than I ever had on home soil. Even Melbourne Cup pulled on the heart strings. Experts say place does shape us at a fundamental level. We all learn to communicate and understand our world through sharing language, customs, behaviours, beliefs and values. And in all reality, doesn't each town, city, state and country has it’s own local vocabulary, accents, values, ideas, economies, industries, local newspapers and radio stations? In essence, it’s very own unique culture. Heck, in China each province has its own culinary delights. Winston Churchill famously proclaimed that “we shape our buildings, and afterwards, our buildings shape us. I’ve stolen this quote from Cup of Jo’s fabulous blog, by actress Helen Mirren, “Where you grew up becomes a big part of who you are for the rest of your life. You can’t run away from that. Well, sometimes the running away from it is what makes you who you are.” Identity is attached to a sense of belonging, usually through family ties or deep emotional connections and it's pretty evident we all bare some of the cultural and emotional legacies, whether good or bad from our hometowns. Environmental psychologist Susan Clayton says: “For better or worse, the place where we grew up usually retains an iconic status. Is it any wonder memories of finding and eating oysters off the rocks at five years old are forever etched in the bowels of my mind. The iconic Pacific oyster! It might not be home now, but saying “Haere Ra…..” (Goodbye) forever to New Zealand was never really an option And as Henning Mankell says, "You can have more than one home. You can carry your roots with you and decide where they grow." I like that idea. What do you think? Do you have one home or many? To read more about where home is, check out The Expat Magazine's article Where is Home? here Read, about our repatriation back Down Under here... … [Read more...]
Living in China: Week One – One Foot in Front of the Other
You know the feeling when you visit a city you've never seen before? That dizzying anticipation, the unbridled excitement, the curiosity and wonder of what lies ahead? Well, can I just say - for the record - arriving in a city you've never seen before to live, is nothing like that! Ok, so maybe that's a little over the top. The lead up to moving to Xi'an, China was like that, but actually arriving in one of the world's oldest cities, home to eight and a half million people (the 12th largest city in China), I won't lie - my heart was in my mouth. It's a short two and a half hour flight from Hong Kong, but it also feels a world away in north western China. As we disembarked and entered the airport, my stomach was in knots, as I tried desperately to keep an open mind, at the ready to embrace our new home! I foolishly found myself comparing right off the bat. (Bad move!) The airport was significantly smaller than I'd expected for such a massive city and ever so slightly primitive (of course this is compared to Hong Kong's modern, state of the art, award-winning complex)! I later found out all entrants from Hong Kong, Macau and Taiwan (China's SARS) come to their own individual terminal, so what I glimpsed was just a minuscule part of the largest airport in the north west! I could feel myself ever so tentatively putting one foot in front of the other as I literally stepped into my new life, in one of China's 656 cities, no less! Driving from the airport was at best 'underwhelming' (apart from driving on the wrong side of the road) it was raining and grey as we sped through a maze of highways and concrete; a deluge of chinese characters beaming out at me in their neon, indecipherable glory! I'm not deeply religious but it was about now I silently had a word to God, hoping James wasn't having a moment of serious delusion when he'd excitedly told me the city was really "quite nice." Meantime, our little blondie Ava was oblivious in all her three year old naivety; her primary concern on the journey, the delightful hotel gift of rainbow-coloured macaroons and how many she could eat in one go! Oh to be so innocent. Approaching the hotel, my spirits lifted… despite the incessant rain, leafy green streets splayed out in front of me and there was a distinct buzz of activity with restaurants, bright lights and traffic mayhem! (We may be in Central China, but it was a comforting sign, I wasn't in the middle of no where, even if I was hanging on for dear life!) The hotel was impressive - it's four stories though, the 'chalk' to the W Hong Kong's 76 story 'cheese.' My grand entry somewhat stifled as Ava's prized macaroons promptly fell out of the car onto the wet hotel driveway and a toddler meltdown ensued. Welcome to Xi'an! We quickly dropped our bags off in what would be our home for the next few weeks (until the hotel residences are finished). A suite that can only be described as embracing the typical minimalist Westin decor brushed with an enchanting oriental flair! With James likely to be bunkered down in his new GM role the next day year, we went for a quick scoot around the hotel to acclimatize ourselves with our new 'home.' We probably could've done with scooters because it's ahem, bloody huge. Unlike Hong Kong, space is no issue here in Xi'an and it's spread out, from a luxurious Lobby Bar, to an intriguing museum (yes, Xi'an being one of the four oldest civilizations in the world means, monuments, relics and artifacts are scattered everywhere, even below this hotel!) - to a grand sunken garden swathed in red cloth. (It's lucky my favorite colour is red, because this hotel is literally bathed in a glow of deep red!) To the beckoning cake shop, the three very different restaurants, Chinese, Japanese and Western….and the (wait for it) Rolls Royce show room! (Ahem just quietly the owner has sold 70 of these babies in just two years! Oh how the Chinese looove their luxury!) So, let the week begin. I think I probably spent 24 hours in a 'blur of speechlessness.' It's fair to say the first week is probably the hardest when you move to a new country. I know I bandy about the term 'culture shock' on this blog on a pretty regular basis, but over four years in HK, even I had forgotten what it's really like. Really like to wake up and your husband is at work and you are staring out from your hotel window into the absolute unknown (rain not helping your imagination) it all seems quite surreal. This is your new life and you know not a single soul. There's no routine, no familiarity, you can't order a comforting Mint Mocha or get a blow dry because you can't find the relevant words and even when you do, they can't understand you. You don't even know what's across the road. It's a new beginning on almost every level. And I won't lie, it's bloody scary. Forget being a big fish in a small pond - you're a tadpole in a giant ocean! For the first few days and beyond, tears sit just below the surface, threatening to spill over at a moment's notice, but then you pull yourself together because you know it's not the end of the world and there is a big adventure that you have been waiting for, wanting for! All I can say, is thank God for technology, even if it is slow and more than slightly intermittent (and I may be on the verge of throwing laptop out the window), Facebook, What's App, Twitter, Email all allow you to stay connected (loosely) with friends, family and familiar faces. You'll be amazed at how comforting it is to know online, nothing has changed. (Thanks to a VPN of course.) What's a VPN? In layman's terms, it's a service you pay for monthly that allows you to download an app which makes it look like you are in another country so you can bypass security blocks and access the likes of Google, Facebook, even my own blog (all banned in China). So deep breaths all round, the key to being in a new city, is to get out! So once the rain calmed, first stop - the shopping centre directly across the road; a very westernized Starbucks with all staff speaking reasonably good English (no Mint Mochas though), a peek at the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda, you really can't miss. This is what this area's all about and it's what tourists from around the globe flock to look at. A roam around the streets, laced with green trees, striking monuments and waterfalls….it's a little European infused with traditional Chinese architecture. On the way back from another local shopping centre (thankfully sporting Zara and a kid's playroom worth it's weight in gold) I spy a street called 'Bar Street' that we eagerly try out a few nights later. A quirky cobblestoned street reminiscent of a Phuket or Bali or even Melbourne with cute, cottage like bars, side by side…live music, humming with people. A day in the heart of the city, we explore the city centre with the world famous Bell Tower and the ancient city wall - a 14 square kilometre cobble-stoned wall that you can cycle along on tandem bikes or do it the lazy way we did (this time) and jump on a golf buggy and hurtle around the historic fortress looking out across a sprawling city. **Quick Fact: It's the most complete city wall that's survived in China and the one of the largest ancient military defensive systems in the world! We stumble across quaint markets down idyllic lane ways not unlike a slice of Europe with fascinating artwork and oriental trinkets on display. So far, Xi'an is well and truly surprising us on every level….and slowly but surely it's about putting the pieces together. Working out which way is up. (Map reading is not my strong point!) You start to recognize the occasional landmark, hotel faces, and even more importantly remember a phrase or two of mandarin. Nevermind, that I told the housekeeper to come back to clean the room at 13 o'clock. Better luck next time eh? So a week in, it's been tough and more than likely to get tougher, but it's also the beginning of a once in a lifetime adventure, we'll certainly never forget. She chants the mantra, 'one foot in front of the other……' Proud to share this post over on Seychelle Mama's site for her series #MyExpatFamily … [Read more...]
Strewth Mate! I Come From a Land Down Under
Latest Column for Expat Focus... G'day, If you're a regular reader of my ramblings, you probably know I've spent a fair bit of my writing time, wearing expat shoes and being quite vocal about the thrills and spills of culture shock - you know - stuff like: what happens when you find yourself catapulted into the arms of another country, anxiously wondering if this is simply a fling or a lasting love affair? Well, in answer to that - Hong Kong has me in its clutches, but Australia you'll always have my heart. (Awwww.) But on a recent trip back Down Under, it was kind of like running into an ex-boyfriend and finding something that had been so familiar, for so long, was suddenly quite alien. I think it's what they like to call "Reverse Culture Shock." Strewth mate! So where the bloody hell are you? To continue reading head over to Expat Focus - click here >>> … [Read more...]
The Expat View: Why Traveling will Never be the Same.
Latest column for Expat Focus “There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign.” – Robert Louis Stevenson As an expat, my arrival in any country (these days) brings with it, the steely eyes of a super sleuth. The minute I step off the plane, I'm giving my holiday destination the once over! Judging, comparing, making rapid assumptions from the cleanliness of airport toilets, I'm sizing up the place for its 'liveability.' You see, living the expat life, almost every city has the potential to be your future home, which makes any foreign locality fair game. Who knows when or even IF, but as an hotelier's wife, there's ALWAYS a chance this unfamiliar neighbourhood will arrive on your radar at some point in time. We jumped on a plane and went for a mini-break to Thailand last weekend, a short two hour 40 minute flight from Hong Kong. It wasn't my first time in the Land of Smiles, but I was a virgin in the big city of Bangkok. I was excited to see what the so-called City of Angels had to offer. Stepping out from the airport, raising my sunglasses, I peered out at this populous city of 8-million that stretched before me. I'd barely scratched the surface of this vibrant metropolis but I was already shaking my head. “It's not Hong Kong,” I said under my breath. “Give it a chance” my inner voice retorted, sternly.When you're looking through expat lenses, it's hard to keep that raw, open mindedness a first-time traveler might feel in a new, unexplored and exotic environment. The butterflies give way to an anxious knot in the pit of your stomach. To read more, click here >>> … [Read more...]