Sex, Bubs and Our Reproductive Role.
*News Alert* Sometimes my posts may veer away from travel, expat life, Asia and the like, and accidentally cross over into other things, like say, motherhood. Ah yes, that old chestnut! (I promise they’ll still be entertaining.) đ
Whatâs the time Mr Wolf? 1 oâclock? 2 oâclockâŚ.or perhaps itâs Truth oâclock.
When your small person starts wanting to know more than Mr Wolfâs time, like âMuuumm how are babies made?â Itâs time to start talking, or is it?
I must admit I baulked a little when the school announced it was having a ‘family night’ to talk about the birds and the bees.
Yep, the big one. That loaded question where once the answerâs out there, thereâs no turning back. Repeat, No. Turning. Back!
Of course, it got me thinking, just when is the right time to tell your child about sex? Actual sex and the ‘facts of life’ – not just some funny story about a stork visiting.
My childâs eight, well if you ask her, âTechnically eight and three quarters, thank you very much.â But I was pretty sure she hadnât a clue about how babies were actually made, at least not the nitty gritty.
A quick poll on the School Mumâs thread also known as âThe Villageâ and I found out most were going to be sending their offspring to the evening to learn just how they erm, came to be offspring.
These talks only come around once every two years, so if she missed it this time, sheâd be in Year 5, ten years old by the time she heard the talk, which also seemed a little too late. Perhaps?
I also thought, âGreat if they give the talk, the heats off me!â What if I got it wrong, or disseminated the information in a completely incompetent way (which is highly likely)?
And if she didnât go, she was bound to hear about it in the playground, right?
Did I want that to be her lesson on the birds and the bees?
US based Sex Educator Nadine Thornhill says itâs important to focus on being honest.
âThereâs more risk with not telling them enough than telling them too much,â she says.
So, I bit the bullet and signed up, while signalling for hubby to add this one to the calendar. (Oh yeh, donât think youâre getting out of it that easy, Mister!)
It was a Tuesday night when we all took ourselves off to the school hall, where we sat eagerly/awkwardly awaiting the news, with a little bit of nervous giggling – mostly from the parents.
Most of the kids looked like theyâd rather be anywhere but here, eyes rolling in the back of their heads.
The company giving the talk is Interrelate, a not for profit organisation with all sorts of programs âdesigned to nurture and grow happy, healthy humans.â
By Year 3 itâs expected many children will have a keen interest and have formulated some sort of theory.
Better Health says school programs are vital to support this process. Developing good sexuality education programs shows that the community takes responsibility for this aspect of childrenâs growth and development. If families and schools wonât take the subject on, children will turn to other sources of information that may not be reliable, such as friends, the Internet (heaven forbid) or the media.
Our particular program was a sixty-minute session aimed specifically at years 3 and 4 called âWhere did I come from?â â The session after us was for the bigger kids, âPreparing for Pubertyâ.
Our teacher was a fantastic young guy who clearly wasnât afraid of using the big words. Penis and Vulva were sprayed out into the air like mini fireworks. But he took his time using fabulous, colourful images to gently work towards the clanger, showing us all the necessary body parts to make a baby.
I must admit even I learned a thing or two.
He talked about everything from our âprivate partsâ being just that and asked our children to turn to the adults with them and discuss five people in their lives they can really trust. He spoke about gender identity, the many different shapes and sizes families come in and IVF.
Then everyone got handed brightly coloured laminated cards to hold onto, until they were called up on the stage to read out their card which appropriately went with the cards the adults on stage were hiding behind displaying.
Seeing a dad, whoâs a good friend holding up the world âVagina,â while mum proudly held up âScrotumâ was just a little bit humorous (for the adults).
If only we were allowed photos.
Then came the clincher and Iâm quite sure every parent in the room held his or her breath.
The projector lit up unveiling a cartoon picture of a mum and dad having sexual intercourse, after a lot of âkissing and cuddlingâ of course. There were a few gasps, and ‘noooo’âŚfrom some kids in the room, definitely a few giggles and interestingly plenty of shrugs and âso whatâ.
Iâm quite sure the penny hasnât dropped for our little one, yet. She was far more interested in how a baby grows inside a mummyâs tummy. One minute itâs the size of a sultana, then a lime, an avocado and so onâŚ
And then they were given the low down on all the ways a baby can come out. I had a caesarean, and even though my small person knew there was another way, it was still an eye opener. I could almost see her mind boggling as she stared up at the big screen.
I sat their smiling rather smugly. âYes, honey, we mums are pretty amazing humans on that front, arenât we!â
It all wrapped up with a big cheer and weâre done. The talk is done.
Iâm sure there will be many curly questions to follow, once the information has time to percolate, whether thatâs next week or next year.
Experts say thereâs no perfect time to discuss things like âWhere do I come fromâ and âWhat is sex?â but itâs about how comfortable your family feels talking about these things.
Interrelate says, Research shows that if young people are given accurate and reliable information, they are more able to make good choices.
So, even if it doesnât all sink in yet, as they say, knowledge is power.
And Iâm off the hook. For now.
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