When Michael from Global From Asia wanted to chat to me for his show, how could I possibly refuse? An American who's kicking butt in Shenzhen, married to a Chinese lady, together they are giving others the knowledge and tools to take their business from Asia and make it 'global!' Pop over to his website to listen to the podcast. It's about 35 minutes and we chat about everything from culture shock to finding friends in China and learning how to navigate the Middle Earth that is China. So grab a coffee or stick those head phones in and carry on, carrying on. https://www.globalfromasia.com/to-china-and-back/ … [Read more...]
Moving Overseas? Tips for Helping Your Child Adjust.
Living overseas, as an expat, usually means your children will be exposed to some magnificent wonders of the world. Not only will they be immersed in different cultures, witness unusual customs and fascinating traditions, they'll meet and learn about people from all walks of life. But moving isn't always smooth sailing. Just like us adults, it takes time to adjust and feel at ease with your new surroundings. Having moved from Hong Kong, to the middle of China and back to Sydney with our small person, here are a few handy tips when it comes to moving countries/cities with your children. Let’s face it, parenting is hard enough at the best of times….but when you add a new environment into the mix, a different language and culture, it can be tough to keep everyone on the happy bus! #TheRightTime In all reality, there's never a "right" time. Each age brings its own challenges. People will say it's much better to move them while they're still little. And while there are definitely positives for this as far as their ability to go with the flow and adapt more quickly, it doesn't mean they won't struggle. Of course, the younger a child is, the easier it is to learn a new language, if they're immersed. Older children can be more resistant to a move away, not wanting to leave friends and of course their education needs to be taken seriously. At the same time, being older means they'll potentially gain much more from the experience and remember it. Every child is unique and only you can help decide when you think it's a good time. Often you may not have a choice, so don't sweat it....each age has its pros and cons. #Farewell If it's possible, have a farewell party/get together that makes saying goodbye special and memorable. Experts say acknowledging what's about to happen, sadness and all, can help little ones start to process the move. Reassure them it’s perfectly ok (and normal) to miss someone, at the same time keep talking about the exciting things that are going to come with living in a new country. Don't over promise and under deliver. It’s important to 'close the chapter' properly. I was never more thankful for the teacher's quick thinking, when the last day of term was suddenly brought forward by an entire week, due to severe pollution in China and she sent someone out to buy a cake, to farewell Ava in style. It meant the world to her (and mum who was silently in meltdown mode). At the same, time be sure to let them know it’s not forever, it’s just "see you later!" Help them to keep in touch with their good friends. Thankfully, today, technology means they don’t have to seem a world away. Send voice messages on Whats App, or even have a Skype or FaceTime session. My little girl and her bestie in China recently skyped for an hour and a half and after some initial awkwardness, ended up playing together, like they were in the same room! Pack lots of memories. Photo books are a great idea for them to look back on and keep memories alive. Involve your children in the move as much as possible! #Routine As soon as you arrive in your new country, no matter how small it is, start a routine of some description. Even if it’s just breakfast and walking to the local shop. Even though it’s no doubt tough for you as a mum or dad trying to hold it all together and adjust to this new life, it’s vital to keep a close eye on your child’s needs. Together, try to learn as much about your new country as possible. The more you feel settled, the more likely your kids will too. Check out my post here: Through the Eyes of My Expat Child: Lessons Learned. Experts don’t recommend returning to the place you’ve come from too soon. Allow at least half a year before going back to help them transition more smoothly. #Prized Possessions Don’t pack all of these in the shipping, keep those things that are special to them around to make them more comfortable during this crucial phase. When Ava moved from Hong Kong to China, for about a year, she took a particular doll everywhere with her. It became a case of “Where’s Wally!” #School Options Depending on how permanent your move is, it may be easier to find a school with a similar curriculum to the one back home. If not, the International Baccalaureate (IB) system is taught in many countries, so it's a great option. If you can, act early so you can get into the school of your choice. Depending on the country, there can be huge waiting lists or specific zones you'll need to live in, to be accepted. Sometimes it’s difficult to know which school year they should be in in a foreign country. Get some advice early on, but if the outcome is different to what you envisaged, play it by ear, you can always change them later, if necessary. If you can choose a school that's not too far from your home, it certainly makes life easier, as far as getting to and from school and having their friends around for play dates and catch ups. Living in the hotel in China, meant we were a good 30 to 45 minutes drive from Ava's school, which definitely made things harder and sometimes isolating. #Be a Present Parent Try to be there when they first start their new school, before and after - to talk through the day and all of the new things they’re experiencing. If they are somewhere where the language is not familiar, help them with extra tutoring. Set up play dates with new friends, if they’re keen to have one. Don’t force the issue if they’re older and not interested yet. You can’t choose you children’s friends (as much as sometimes we’d like to). ;) Try to go to school assemblies and important events in those early days so your child sees a familiar face in the crowd. There will probably be days when your child doesn't want to go to his/her new school and is pining for their old world. Talk with their new teacher and let him or her know the situation, so they can keep an extra eye out for your small person. #Communicate If your child is struggling, (psychologists say it can feel like a death to a child who is separated from their friends and/or family) communication is critical. Acknowledge their feelings and listen to their frustrations. Create a stable network and help them feel understood, validated and loved. Culture shock is real, so navigate this new country together. If you're repatriating home, that can be just as unsettling, especially if your child hasn't lived in your home country before. Don't expect them to settle back in smoothly just because it's home for you. Everything around them will probably feel quite alien. Remember every child is different and will experience the transition with different coping abilities and strategies. Good luck, everything will fall into place, eventually. … [Read more...]
Having a Baby in China…the Good, the Bad, the Ugly!
Written By Chao Huang & Nicole Webb, Edited by Nicole Webb One of the first stories about giving birth I heard in China was from Chao.. it was our first meeting, in a cafe that is probably about as westernised as you can get in Xi'an. They serve coffee, no skim milk mind you and toast smothered in honey and cornflakes. But they have cool tunes playing and it's a great little slice of normality amongst the oriental fray. Chao is Chinese but one of the most westernised Chinese people I've yet to meet. She's married to a Dutchman, but never lived out of China, so we are constantly impressed with her ability to understand the western way. So on that first coffee date, she came rushing in, almost six feet tall, long thick dark hair to her waist... again an education for me, given most Chinese I'd met were quite small and at five foot 3, I'm usually on the tall side. (I discovered Chao's from north, north, north China, up there they breed them tall, they tell me.) We ordered coffees, began introductions and before I knew it, Chao was giving us a blow by blow account of her own birth story in China. It wasn't the last story... over the course of our stay in Xi'an, I heard all sorts of "pregnancy" stories - some heartwarming, others that would make your hair stand on end and had me quietly vowing never to have a baby in China. Stories of there not being enough beds to deliver on, women in the height of labour on trolleys in the corridor. Nurses scolding women during the birth for crying. Having to pay "Guan xi" (extra money) to secure more time with the doctor or a better service. And be sure to BYO food, nappies, cleaning products and most definitely toilet paper! In many Chinese hospitals, fathers still aren't allowed in for the birth. I've heard stories of babies suffering jaundice and being kept in hospital for a week with no parental visits allowed. Stories of Chinese doctors scared to treat babies of mixed race. Stories of China's quest for the perfect baby (ultimately stemming from the one child policy) and subsequently meaning abortions legally carried out as late as eight months and often encouraged by families and doctors if there is something (often minor) wrong with the baby...(busses all over town still bear big signs advertising abortion clinics). One particularly memorable story about an American expat who had to ship her own blood in from the U.S because she was A-negative blood type and few Chinese people are. Being in this blood group also had me a little on edge truth be told, should I ever need a transfusion, in China. And then, of course, the strange (to us) things a pregnant woman can and can't do during her nine months of pregnancy. My dear friend Chao is pregnant again... in Xi'an, so I asked her to write a guest post on how things have gone so far, and what it's really like having a baby in China, today. Standing in the busy hospital, bustling with about 100 other pregnant woman, my husband and I were lost in the madness. (Actually, my husband was stunned!) We were in one of the biggest and best women and children’s hospital in China but it was totally overwhelming and knowing where to go was impossible. I'd only just found out I was pregnant, for the second time. Of course, as with everything in China, a lot of things have rapidly moved on since my first pregnancy, five years ago. But what struck me immediately, that definitely hasn't changed, is the chaos! With a population of 1.4 billion and the relaxing of the one child policy, China's hospitals are only getting more and more crowded. Guest relations are a last resort. Priority is getting through the bevy of patients in need. When you first enter the hospital, there's a woman sitting at the main service desk. My simple question,‘ Which floor should I go to?’ was answered with, "It depends if you are 100% sure you are pregnant!” Um...I try to explain, I've tested positive twice, but before I could finish, she waved me off with an impatient “Go the third floor!” We rode the elevator, squashed in with a dozen other women and their partners. The doors opened and my eyes bulged -- there before me were two giant halls - overflowing with no less than 300 people!! There was a long queue winding out of the hall and down the corridor with women lining up to pay for a heart-beat monitor; another shorter queue with women waiting on two blood-pressure machines, and the rest of the space was filled with pregnant women, their mums, husbands and probably mother-in-laws. It was utter bedlam. I tried to gently push through the crowds to get to the counter. Anxious and uncertain, I quietly stammered to the older nurse, "What shall I do when I find out I am pregnant?" She looked at me like I'd asked the silliest question and perhaps I had. She gruffly interrupted with a quick gesture to say, read the procedure on the wall, “You have eyes and are literate right?!” she chided. Side note: Doctors and nurses in public hospitals in China aren't known for their bedside manner. I struggled my way through the people leaning against the wall and read that I would need a hospital card with my name on it and enough money deposited on it to move forward in this pregnancy game! How much money is enough? Well that depends on how much trouble you want to go to. You can just deposit 20RMB ($US3) for a doctor’s appointment but then you'll have to keep running to the machine to deposit for the medicines, blood tests, ultrasounds, etc. And only then can I go online and register to a doctor’s office. (No specific doctor, of course, at this stage.) The security guards were chasing away any male who was standing in the hall that looked out of place (even though they were the equally nervous fathers-to-be); the nurses were frantically writing down blood pressure figures, and while it seemed like everyone else was sitting quietly, the noise was unbearable. And that was my first visit to an Obstetrician/Gynaecologist. (There are few general practitioners and almost everything medical is done in one of China's mammoth hospitals.) Of course, to my dismay, I had to go back again, especially as it has the best doctors in the province and every one, including me, is desperate for the very best treatment. In second or third tier cities, like Xi'an, despite having a population of nine million, private hospitals with good service don't attract the top doctors and they lack first class medical equipment. Of course, it's natural for any new parents to want the best medical care, but the extremes Chinese people go to during pregnancy to ensure a healthy baby are surely debatable. Google "Chinese pregnancy taboos” and you'll be swamped with a million 'do's and don'ts'. A few I have been warned of personally that you might find interesting (or have a chuckle at), but many Chinese take very seriously are: #1 Don't eat crabs! This can cause a difficult labor and the baby could be born sideways. (Like a crab right!) #2 Eating light-coloured food will make your baby fair-skinned, while soy sauce and coffee will ruin the baby’s skin, making them dark, and in China the fairer the better. #3 Eating a lot of black sesame will make the baby’s hair glossy and shiny like black satin; #4 No eating rabbit meat, as this could cause cleft palate (which is quite a big problem in China..and sadly one many parents can't afford to fix, resulting in a huge number of orphans.) #5 You should look at pictures of cute babies constantly, that will make your future baby beautiful (I do find this one kind of cute); #6 Food that is too “cold” should be avoided as nobody wants a miscarriage or diarrhoea. And when I was pregnant five years ago, we were all advised to wear an ‘anti-radiation vest” when sitting in front of a computer or talking on the phone, to block out radiation. When my obstetrician suggested I wear one for the whole pregnancy, I did, but with hindsight, I shouldn’t have, as that thing is thick and heavy and you were not allowed to wash it and I had to wear it for 9 long months!! So, not surprisingly, China is possibly one of the few places where airport security is willing to shut the radiation screening on the security check for a pregnant woman and agree to check her by hand — and that, is quite sweet. And did I mention that many Chinese friend's jaws dropped when they heard I'd be taking multiple planes across continents during my second and early third trimester for travel? Many of them warned me against it, shaking their heads and saying “A friend of a friend's lost their baby after a domestic flight - the doctor's explanation — "It might be true, if you haven't done any other unusual things, because there's not enough oxygen in the plane.” I know, generally speaking, pregnancy is not easy, the world over, but here where it's steeped in tradition, superstition and the (often over bearing but well meaning) advice of elders/friends/or even doctors, it goes to the next level. And the intensity only continues during postpartum, especially that crucial first month. Called "Zuo Yuezi", it is commonly practiced in urban and rural China, and means the new mums must behave according to traditional beliefs and practices. It's believed this will help the new mum regain her strength and protect her health for the future, and includes avoiding cold or salted food; staying inside the house with the doors and windows closed so no wind blows through. (It's thought the wind will blow into the bones of the new mum and cause arthritis and joint pains!) Avoid housework and limit visitors. And because the body structure has changed during pregnancy and labor, Chinese believe women should lie in bed before all the organs in the body move out of position; and definitely no showering or brushing your teeth for this month!! I was thinking these old traditions had died down a little, but recently the fairly modern-looking lady next door told me she didn't get out of her bed unless it was absolutely necessary after giving birth! My eyes widened when she told me she did NOT brush her teeth for a month. But before I could hide my surprise, she said "Yeah, you can be as judgmental as you want, but you will regret it when you have the inside problem in your body when you are older.” Then when I asked how many damaged teeth she had, she shrugged, “Just one cavity, but it was bad and I had to have a crown after the month.” Of course, these old traditions are wise customs from the past, and I do believe, that to some degree, women need enough rest and nutrition after such a major change in their body, and in the past (as little as three decades ago), women were better off following these rules because there was no hot water or heating; a lot of women were doing hard labor work and were malnourished. But with all the amenities and convenience we have now, surely it needs updating? I am not the only one to say that. This age old tradition is bringing new business and "YueZi Zhong Xin" is one. Postpartum care centres for new mums in that first month, are springing up all over the place. Charging from 10,000 RMB (about $1600USD) to 200,000 ($30,000 USD) or even more depending on how luxurious it is, they provide in-room dining up to six times a day, help with breastfeeding and breast massaging, and have nurses on hand to check body measurements. New moms can just rest in their hotel-like bedrooms until care givers bring your baby for feeding. (Sounds just like a regular western hospital, doesn't it?) ;) And now with more migrants and more rich mums trying to deliver babies in developed countries to get their children a “better” passport, there are more postpartum centres thriving in the popular Chinese residing cities like Los Angeles and Toronto. In China, we like to quote Hegel’s saying “What is rational is actual and what is actual is rational.” to explain that everything exists for a reason and these deep-rooted traditions won’t die down in the foreseeable future. After all, everything has its reason. This is China. … [Read more...]
Through the Eyes of My Expat Child! Lessons Learned.
People keep saying to me, “Oh your little girl must be loving the normality of being back home in Australia.” I smile, nodding meekly, not wanting to seem ungrateful for this amazing life Down Under. Sure, she is loving all that being “home” has to offer. Who wouldn't! But then I politely interject with “But for her, this is not normal.” That piercing blue sky creating a vibrant rooftop above us, that’s seriously quite remarkable, but I've gotta be honest, all these bugs...they're really doing her head in...and she hasn't quite figured out how to cross the road, sensibly. My small person was born in the oriental kingdom of Hong Kong six years ago! Despite her Australian citizenship, blonde hair and blue eyes, she will proudly announce to all and sundry, she’s a Honky, through and through. Her preference for rice and dim sum is yet to be surpassed by pizza. Living the expat life meant that when she was just three and a half, with a mix of reluctance and anticipation, we upped stumps and left the glittering fragrant harbour of Hong Kong for more rugged (in every way) pastures in Xi’an, north west China. Wearing a mask for much of winter, even in the playground, the frenetic crowds that never seem to quiet, the neon signs brandishing bold Chinese characters that never seem to dim; the notorious traffic jams that have cars riding mere centimetres from one another… and the random strangers who hoist her up onto their shoulders in the street (without asking) for a prized photo...these are all things, to her, that until now, have been utterly normal. Not to mention, despite our best efforts, it's impossible to understand what most people are saying to you, much of the time. Living Down Under, in a westernised world, for her, is a first. So far, the continuous stream of fresh air and never ending carpet of green grass to roll in (without wondering what's in it), driving our own car from place to place wherever and whenever we may choose and strolling through the quaint neighbourhood to school… is all a joyous novelty. (As are the toy aisles in K Mart.) But what does it really mean to be an expat kid… or as they like to call you a Third Culture Kid? As with just about anything in life, there are pros and cons to growing up in a foreign country and as an expat parent you are constantly asking yourself if you're doing the right thing. Missing out on family back home is clearly the number one drawback… and is one of the major reasons, we are… 'back' after seven years abroad. Now we're here and have come through the initial teething stages, I asked my small person, what she thinks she’s learned living in these countries, now she’s had time to absorb the Aussie life. I think you’ll agree, her answers, though simple and unguarded are truly indicative of what it means to be an expat kid. HAVING FRIENDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD When you’re an expat child, often you’ll go to an international school, rather than a local school. Obviously it depends on the country you’re living in but if their native language is not English, the language barrier at a local school can be difficult and the education system is often not what your child is used to, particularly in China where a local school for Ava would've meant around the clock tuition, seven, long, days a week. An international school will still have a mix of local kids - in our case, many who couldn't speak English - and then a handful of people from all corners of the world. Ava’s mix of friends spanned the globe from American to English, Canadian, Welsh, German, French, Korean, Irish, Italian and of course Chinese…and that was just the kids. Her expat teachers were also from all walks of life giving her their own taste of the world. Having few expats in Xi'an meant the pond from which to choose friends was small…but it meant Ava wasn't just friends with expat kids in her year but kids from every grade and you can bet, they always had each other's back. Thats not to say she wasn't friends with the locals too. When I asked Ava if it was difficult when they couldn't speak much English, she said (in her words) “While it was frustrating on both sides not being able to always talk to all your classmates, you could still play together, Mum!” Language is no barrier when you’re on the slide or doing arts and crafts, right? How do you communicate? Simple, “You just show them or use your hands,” she says. In Australia, Ava is still getting used to having such a wide circle of friends - and mostly they all look like her! Not to mention their mums look just like me! Say it isn’t so! And they’re not arriving at school on the back of a scooter or in a Tuk Tuk. CULTURAL AWARENESS When I asked her what she remembers most about her international school, apart from her friends of course… she says, “celebrating different traditions from all over the world.” From Halloween, to Chinese New Year, the Dragon Boat Festival, the Lantern Festival and Thanksgiving, she’s seen it all and understands that "everybody is different" and we all come from different backgrounds in this diverse land. LEARNING TO ADAPT Do kids adapt easily? I often hear people say children are resilient but sometimes I’m not convinced. I won’t sugar coat it, some days have been tough for Ava. Beneath the smiles and the giggles, there are tears as she gets used to a new life, a new school, a new teacher, new friends, new rules and a new routine. But as she says, when we first went to China, she would cover her ears, the incessant honking of car horns was so loud! Two years later, she barely noticed the noise. Driving to school was always a nightmare in the bumper to bumper traffic and walking into a new school was terrifying, let alone trying to navigate the zig zagging cars, just to get to the front gate. Now she can laugh about those times our driver dropped us at school and actually stuck his hand out like superman to stop the traffic so we could cross. What school zone? No one’s uninvitingly touching her hair and pushing little XiaoWu into her side for a picture, which in those early days had the potential to send Miss Three into a right tiz. By the time she left, while she perhaps never got used to it, she learned to accept it for the harmless curiosity it was. Does she miss the attention? Apparently that's a big, fat NO, mum, with a screwed up face! (And here I was thinking I could get use to the paparazzi.) Of course there's adapting and adopting! Regularly seeing other kids relieve themselves on the side of the road, doesn't mean she follows suit.. she still chuckles at the time(s) her and daddy saw a lady squatting on the toilet with her pants down. APPRECIATING THE LUCKY COUNTRY What’s different about being back? I ask. “Well mum we don’t get things done for us… no one brings our food or cleans our house.” Um, tell me something I don't know! "We don't have big heavenly hotel beds or a big balcony," she says (covered in desert dust, I might add) and now we have to learn to do things for ourselves. Ahhh. Yeh! We do, I say through gritted teeth. But how about not having to brush our teeth with bottled water anymore! Despite being privileged with all the pleasures of a hotel at our beck and call, Ava also realises not every country is the so called "lucky country". Life is more simple here, she says…”Mum you have more friends and they all have pets!” “And there are so many more trees, less pollution and people don’t throw their rubbish or spit!” We can go to a doctor whenever we need to and speak English to him or her and get medicine with relative ease. "Mummy doesn’t fly into a complete meltdown when I get a cold… and run around checking and re-checking medicine supplies." (Just in case.) “Driving our own car is exciting because there’s English music on the radio and I can learn the words….” But being in a car seat is still a little constricting. And much to her dismay, she still has to learn mandarin! ;-) "You can’t help where you’re born though," she says and perhaps that's a fact so many of us forget. … [Read more...]
#TheBigMove: From Expatriation to Repatriation – The Ultimate Survival Guide
When you go overseas as an “expat” invariably a lot of the ‘organising’ is done for you, under what’s known as an ‘expat package’. And while they are not seen to be quite as prestigious as they once were in the days of old, they do offer a level of financial comfort and help with acclimitisation. Whilst they clearly differ greatly, from job to job, country to country, person to person, usually there are a number of perks that go hand in hand with living in a foreign country, whether it’s paid international schooling, regular paid trips back to your hometown, rental accommodation and food paid for (or at least partly reinmbursed), a car, a driver, or both etc. And often many of the countries today that require expats to work in them are still developing, which means for the most part, your lifestyle is going to be a lot cheaper than the one back home. Many companies have a rating system for the countries they send foreigners into, depending on the level of hardship they represent. The harder it’s deemed to live there, the more perks you get to make up for it, not to mention 25 per cent salary weighting, in many cases. Xi’an in north west China is dubbed 'a city of extreme hardship' by many corporate companies, but sadly it wasn’t deemed so for us, with many more hotels in far more remote places in China, laying claim that title. Still, I’m not complaining, after all we did get to live in a hotel, and as much as that also came with its drawbacks, many of you will have heard me attest, yes that did mean I could dial 0 for room service, at any time, day or night! Coming back the other way, though, requires a very different 'state of mind'. (If you have to look at You Tube when it comes to operating the vacuum, let’s just say, you’re not alone!) Still, in the eyes of many (including your employer’s) it’s your home town right? Or at least your home country, so on the surface, you should be pleased as punch and find everything fairly straightforward. Apart from a few acknowledgements, aka “we know this must be quite tough for you, settling back in” it’s just a case of quietly slipping back in and getting on with it, isn’t it? For us, yes, a lot of it is remarkably foolproof (except those dang vacuums). With English as the native language it makes for a pretty good start. Just how far can you go wrong? Being understood wherever you set foot is a major bonus. But don’t be fooled, setting up a new life is not without its challenges. First of all there’s that thing called ‘reverse culture shock’, which for all intents and purposes is a genuine thing! You may have read about our first few weeks Down Under in my previous post: Aliens Down Under. "What do you mean, you keep mistaking the rumbles of the washing machine for fireworks outside?! This isn’t China!" A friend says. But to me, the latter seems far more plausible. On a practical note, moving back the 'other way' can also set you back a small fortune, so be prepared! A lot of the time, companies will foot the bill for specific things like flights home, temporary accommodation, storage of belongings etc, but they will often expect you to pay first and reimburse you, (sometimes much) later. Savings or a high limit Credit Card that works everywhere is a pre-requisite in a move like this. Even if you’re in line for a company credit card, it’s not always immediate. So, when that call comes to move back home — as much as you’re either whooping for joy or (like us) quietly scared out of your wits - there are some crucial things you’ll need to get onto, pronto! Without sending you into a pre-move meltdown (which is also highly acceptable), here’s the list to get you into gear! If anything, the big move will surely test your admin skills, not to mention your ability to multi-task especially when it’s all done in the middle of packing, unpacking, plane trips, hellos, goodbyes, old jobs, new jobs, old schools, new schools! REMOVALISTS Sometimes the company you’re moving home with will help you organise this, but often they won’t or perhaps you are moving of your own accord, so the buck stops with you. You’ll need to find professional removalists asap and have a set date for it all to unfold. Shipping companies want inventories of everything you’re sending and if you’re coming from a country like China, for example, there is a list a mile long of things that can’t leave the country with you (i.e. no prescription medication, cleaning products or food). Some things can be a little on the absurd side, ahh hello ‘no Christmas decorations’ so don’t be afraid to challenge them. You will usually be required to get three quotes for your company, which means three different moving companies coming to assess your treasures well before the big day! Once the removal company is chosen, they will want an itemised list and possibly the value of everything you intend to ship back. Can you even remember? How about what’s in storage? A handy tip, is to keep anything like this on file for future moves. It can take two or three days to pack your belongings, so be prepared. And if you’re doing it yourself, we all know this is no mean feat. Even if you’re not physically packing your belongings in boxes, it’s a major effort sorting through a few years of taking shelter in one home. What seems like a small job can take weeks, so my advice - start early! Shipping can take anywhere from several weeks to a few months so whatever you do, don’t forget to leave enough clothes, medications, kid’s toys, books, as well as important documents like birth certificates, marriage certificates, evidence of shipping, moving companies, bank statements, pay slips etc. (I cannot stress the latter enough)! In saying this, you also need to check how many kilos you’re allowed on the flight home and if you’re up for paying for excess baggage, or if this is something your company will foot the bill for. If you need to get rid of things, start early, advertising amongst friends or on relevant online sights. And it may seem obvious but if you're somewhere that hasn't involved travel (highly unlikely) make sure your passport is up to date with six months validity. Check your previous contracts and make sure there are no clauses about repaying things you’ve received in the expat package, i.e. kids school fees in advance. If, you’re not moving back into your old home or are temporarily renting, make sure you’ve got storage set up for your belongings when the shipping does arrive. PETS If you bought a pet overseas who has now become a bonafide member of the family, there’s no way you’re leaving your pampered pooch or kitty cat behind, right? But first things first, you should really check the rules in your home country. In Australia, they are tough! (Who can forget Johnny Depp’s dog!) There was no way we were getting a pet overseas no matter how hard Small Person pleaded (and mummy hoped) because it’s a long, long wait in quarantine and an expensive exercise. Also check with the company repatriating you as the return cost may be part of your package. (Side note: Back home, currently scouting pet shops!) SELLING/BUYING A HOUSE Perhaps you’ve got an investment property or a house that’s no longer suitable for your now larger family? You’ll need to look into selling this if it’s something you need to do to get a more suitable property. Set the wheels in motion as soon as you can. It’s not a quick task. Start with a call to your real estate agent back home. If you do plan to buy a house, at any time of life, this is a pretty big life decision. You’ll need to make sure your finances are in order. (Which means having a bank account in Australia or the country you’re going to) make sure they’re willing to give you a home loan, research the legalities in that city, like capital gains tax, stamp duty, real estate fees, solicitor fees etc. If you are searching from overseas or simply don’t have the time to look once you’re back, a buyer’s agent is often a great solution. House hunting every Saturday is a big commitment! FYI - a lot of banks won’t talk to you until you are on the ground. TRANSPORT If you’ve been away for any length of time, it’s more than likely you no longer own a car… and if you’re like us, perhaps haven’t paid much attention to cars, models etc in many years. You’ll also need to research what’s out there and what’s affordable for you and your new life. With a new package that’s not an expat package, going home can be significantly more expensive. “Ah hello Nicole, that’s right, no mini convertible for you!” Oh and will you and your spouse both need cars? Can one of you take public transport? Don’t forget with buying a car, comes the added expenses of registration, insurance, tags for the tolls, finance, petrol etc. Thankfully as we found out, most dealerships will sort out the registration for you. Remember, you will need insurance before your car leaves the lot. And if public transport is on your radar, check the current status. For example in Sydney they no longer take cash on busses and trains, it’s all about the Opal card. Oh and is your driver’s license current? You may be required to drive the minute you’re home, and if you haven’t for sometime, there’s every chance you’ve neglected to look at your licence. Can you even find it? Dig it out and make sure it’s current or start organising how to renew it. HEALTH INSURANCE You’ve probably been covered under some pretty hefty health insurance as an expat… there’s every likelihood this won’t be the case back home and you’ll need to take out your own or potentially see what your company now offers and what that covers. Don’t forget, if you’ve been away for a significant period, things change in the local health systems. You may need to renew things like your local health card - as I found out, if you’ve been away overseas for more than six years, the equivalent in Australia, known as a Medicare card needs to be applied for, all over again! You may also need certain vaccinations for your new country, particularly if your children are starting a new school which expects them to be up to date with the country’s specific immunisations. If you can do this in your current country, it will save one more thing to do when you arrive. If you’re in a second tier city like China though, it's clearly not possible, so check out which doctors will do it as soon as you arrive home. ACCOMMODATION Next thing is to make sure you’ve got appropriate accommodation when you return home. If it’s not to your old house or staying with family…can you afford a hotel/serviced apartment until you find more permanent lodgings? Depending on the city you’re going to be residing in, these may not be cheap. Try Air B n B’s…which can be a little cheaper in the short term. Plus make sure you are set up with most every day essentials you’re likely to need. If you’ve got children, mum's desperate for them they’ll probably need to to start school asap! This can prove a catch 22 (and a major headache) with a lot of schools wanting you to be in the right ‘catchment zone’ before they “let you in”. Make sure you read up on this and know your options. One idea is to rent in the area you want your child to go to school in, but then you may also have the added pressure of buying property in that particular zone. Don’t be afraid to keep your kids home for a few weeks until things are clearer in your mind. If you need to rent somewhere, and the city you’re returning to is not your old city, do some research on which areas will suit you and your family. Is it close to work? Will there be a commute required? What are the schools like? What’s around the area? And, realistically are the suburbs you like affordable? If you’ve been living overseas in a city environment, you may find it difficult slipping back into suburban life. Perhaps you need to choose suburbs more reflective of your current situation, to ease yourself back into your new life and make assimilation that little bit easier? COMMUNICATION Once you come out of hibernation, you may very well need to get yourself a new phone if you’ve been on a company phone. Or like me, had a phone courtesy of my husband’s company. You'll also need a new plan or at the very least a SIM card. There are plenty of new options out there now so do your research. Most plans these days, do include the cost of the phone. It’s a good idea to check that where ever you are setting up home temporarily also has the internet, if this is also something that’s crucial to your daily life. NO FIXED ADDRESS As with anything like the above, most places (rather inconveniently) want an address from you, which can be a complete 'p in the a' when you’re in a hotel for a few weeks and trying to set everything up or in temporary accommodation. Can you use someone else’s address, a friend or someone in the family? A lot of these “setting up” process also require pay slips, evidence of utility bills etc which can be frustrating, when you’re madly trying to explain you’ve just come out of Mozambique or similar. Yes, really! BANK ACCOUNTS During your time abroad, there’s a good chance you may also have let your bank accounts lapse. Check that you’ve got at least one account for your new pay to go into (often the company will set this up but it may not be straight away) and a credit card that can be used in your home country. If you do want to send your money back home before you get there.. we've always used OFX and they are a long time partner of Mint Mocha Musings. Click here if you'd like more information. NEW JOB If you or your husband is starting a brand new job, this is more than likely going to take up a lot of the spouse’s time trying to settle in and process everything. You’ll probably be used to it - having already made the big move abroad (most likely) for work and returning home is no different. Expect the unexpected and to feel unsettled….knowing this too shall pass. Rome wasn’t built in a day. If you or your partner that’s not employed is also looking for a new job, it can be a double dose of chaos. Try to manage it as best you can and remove those pre-conceived expectations of wanting it all organised NOW. OLD STOMPING GROUND You’re also (hopefully) likely to have a lot of family/old friends wanting to catch up and see how you are and there’s absolutely no doubt, if you’re like me, you’ll be wanting to touch base with everyone, immediately. This is where you need to hold your horses. Take it slowly and remember it’s simply not possible to see everyone, at. the.same.time! Just stepping out of your comfort zone into a new country, even if it is home, can be overwhelming and fraught with new experiences, good and bad. It’s no longer your ‘new normal’ and settling in is a process which hopefully your friends will understand when you need to say 'no thanks' until the time is right. After all, don’t they say moving countries, starting a new job, selling a house and buying a new home (each on their own merits) are in the list of the top most stressful life events? And, remember to breathe…. This is repatriation. You’ve got this! **If you missed my post on making the decision to repatriate….check it out here! … [Read more...]
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