My heart was broken. For a moment, it felt like I’d travelled back in time to those heady teenage years when breaking up with a boyfriend turned you into a dramatic, sobbing, pathetic mess, convinced you’d never get over him. But I’m not a teenager and this wasn’t a boyfriend, rather two female friends, who for nearly three years had known my every thought: my every high, every low and pretty much my every waking (and napping) moments. And now it was over. Here we were, our driver waiting patiently, watching on as we squeezed each other tight and called it a day. I went home and sobbed into my husband's arms. Repatriating to Australia, there’s a lot to love about the sunburnt country and I’m relishing in exploring everything again with fresh eyes. Everything old is new. Even my dear friends! (Although they may protest they’re feeling a little older as opposed to newer). There are no shortage of stories about expat life…. some hate it, most love it. Either way, if you're going to survive, you need to find your tribe. And once you find them, it’s hard to fathom life without them. You’re all in the same boat no matter what got you on it, what seas you sailed or which boat you rode in before. The sheer fact that you’ve upped stumps to live in a country that’s not your own is grounds enough for a firm friendship. My first taste of expat-hood was in Hong Kong and while there were thousands upon thousands of us, from all walks of life, drawn to the Emerald City, we had each others backs as we sailed the fragrant harbour. I found my Hong Kong family and we were there for each other through thick and thin. (And still are, I might add.) Then I moved to the middle of China, a place where expats are few and far between and there the real difficulties of going about day to day life emerged. At first I was reluctant to “put myself out there, again!" Hadn’t I just done all that in Hong Kong? I’d found my tribe, I didn’t want to be the single girl desperate for a date. But I quickly realised that attitude wasn’t going to cut it; Xi’an may be home to nine million people, but I could swear I was the only blonde in town. So it began….I scoured Facebook pages (when I could get online) stalked school playgrounds, smiled sheepishly at other mums, “yes, hello, I’m new!” “Can we be friends?” I even went on a blind date, in the hope of meeting someone to bond over coffee and hair colour woes with. She instantly became one of my tribe. And over those next few years, I needed them from the minute I woke up …to when the sun went down. Mostly to get through the sheer amount of “unusual moments” that occur in any ‘normal’ China day. Whether it’s the fact that your driver drove through a boom gate on the way to school, spilling the entire contents of your bag on the floor and your scorching lemon water on your lap and you didn’t die, or he simply does a weird six point turn in the middle of a busy school street to pick you up, with the car doors swinging wildly open. Or maybe he’s just driven with his hand on the horn for the entire 45 minute ride and your head is going to explode. And don’t even start about those recurring dreams that he speaks English. Or perhaps you woke up to fireworks erupting outside your house and a dozen stray dogs barking furiously and chooks clucking! The power is completely off or maybe your kids are sent home without notice from school due to extreme pollution levels. Or a little American boy at one of the schools has been clocked with a golf club by another kid’s parent in an act of sheer brutality and you can’t fathom the horror of it. Or your hotelier husband is having an equally tough day. So far he’s scolded someone for washing their car parts in the hotel’s water feature and another for spitting in the lobby pot plant and now someone is vacuuming in the middle of a wedding in the grand ball room and he is about to burst a blood vessel. Perhaps you accidentally see a woman squatting over the toilet, door wide open. Enough to scar you for life. All of this, you need to share... or risk being locked in a padded room. Maybe it’s so friggin’ polluted you masked up for the school run and literally sprinted to the classroom and then home again without taking a breath, only to spend another bleak winter’s day indoors, staring wistfully out at the dense, grey haze that has enveloped the city. You need to connect with the tribe to be sure there is still life out there. Perhaps your small person has got yet another nasty bout of croup after a simple cold for the fifth time this winter and you’ve run out drugs. There are no English speaking doctors and if there were they don’t have medication you need. You send a desperate text out and find one of your tribe has extra supplies and gets her driver to bring them over pronto. Or maybe one of your friend’s kids has lice… and there’s no treatment in China, so you dig out your lice saver and meet her in the carpark on a 2 degree morning to hand over the goods. Or your dog just got her period! What now? Maybe it’s visa run time and you need to psyche yourself up to be practically strip searched. Nothing is off limits, when you’re in a city that beats to a different rhythm. We are each others shot of valium in a crisis. Thank you to my best Chinese friend who ordered our pizza, always worked out the bill with the waiter at the end of the night, took us to hospitals, doctors, acupuncturists, called back for our results, made our nail appointments, and translated every text message in their indecipherable characters. Not to mention your daily education about the realities of China and the reasons why… in return we educated you on the wicked ways of the West (maybe to your detriment). To my American friend who wades through her medical drawer to dig out the last sleeping tablet for our long haul flight and has it sent over immediately, oh wait was it the other way around? Who introduced us to Halloween and ThanksGiving and pumpkin pie. In return we gave her Australia Day and Tim Tams. Who took it into her own hands to smuggle me a tamborine from KTV (Karaoke) because what girl doesn’t need her own! And is a Taobao junkie who orders double of everything because she knows you’ll want what she’s having, when a man drives up in a tuk tuk and flings a parcel at your doorstep. When you let her sit on your couch for the entire day watching the hotel’s CNN channel, shouting abuse and crying as we watch Trump become President. We could while away hours in a coffee shop, laughing until our sides split for our weekly sanity check (me often recording the saga - for research of course) until our drivers came and ferried us back to our bubble where we would hibernate from the madness, until next time… safe in the knowledge, we weren’t alone. Or perhaps we’d indulge in $3 midday Margaritas at one of the only western restaurants in town, “Tex Mex” perched at the top of a busy shopping centre where you’d be sure to run into every other expat in town, desperate for a quesadilla! Now, we’ve all spread out to our respective corners of the globe. As Winnie the Pooh said, "Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened." But without them, a little piece of my heart will always be broken. This is China. … [Read more...]
Having a Baby in China…the Good, the Bad, the Ugly!
Written By Chao Huang & Nicole Webb, Edited by Nicole Webb One of the first stories about giving birth I heard in China was from Chao.. it was our first meeting, in a cafe that is probably about as westernised as you can get in Xi'an. They serve coffee, no skim milk mind you and toast smothered in honey and cornflakes. But they have cool tunes playing and it's a great little slice of normality amongst the oriental fray. Chao is Chinese but one of the most westernised Chinese people I've yet to meet. She's married to a Dutchman, but never lived out of China, so we are constantly impressed with her ability to understand the western way. So on that first coffee date, she came rushing in, almost six feet tall, long thick dark hair to her waist... again an education for me, given most Chinese I'd met were quite small and at five foot 3, I'm usually on the tall side. (I discovered Chao's from north, north, north China, up there they breed them tall, they tell me.) We ordered coffees, began introductions and before I knew it, Chao was giving us a blow by blow account of her own birth story in China. It wasn't the last story... over the course of our stay in Xi'an, I heard all sorts of "pregnancy" stories - some heartwarming, others that would make your hair stand on end and had me quietly vowing never to have a baby in China. Stories of there not being enough beds to deliver on, women in the height of labour on trolleys in the corridor. Nurses scolding women during the birth for crying. Having to pay "Guan xi" (extra money) to secure more time with the doctor or a better service. And be sure to BYO food, nappies, cleaning products and most definitely toilet paper! In many Chinese hospitals, fathers still aren't allowed in for the birth. I've heard stories of babies suffering jaundice and being kept in hospital for a week with no parental visits allowed. Stories of Chinese doctors scared to treat babies of mixed race. Stories of China's quest for the perfect baby (ultimately stemming from the one child policy) and subsequently meaning abortions legally carried out as late as eight months and often encouraged by families and doctors if there is something (often minor) wrong with the baby...(busses all over town still bear big signs advertising abortion clinics). One particularly memorable story about an American expat who had to ship her own blood in from the U.S because she was A-negative blood type and few Chinese people are. Being in this blood group also had me a little on edge truth be told, should I ever need a transfusion, in China. And then, of course, the strange (to us) things a pregnant woman can and can't do during her nine months of pregnancy. My dear friend Chao is pregnant again... in Xi'an, so I asked her to write a guest post on how things have gone so far, and what it's really like having a baby in China, today. Standing in the busy hospital, bustling with about 100 other pregnant woman, my husband and I were lost in the madness. (Actually, my husband was stunned!) We were in one of the biggest and best women and children’s hospital in China but it was totally overwhelming and knowing where to go was impossible. I'd only just found out I was pregnant, for the second time. Of course, as with everything in China, a lot of things have rapidly moved on since my first pregnancy, five years ago. But what struck me immediately, that definitely hasn't changed, is the chaos! With a population of 1.4 billion and the relaxing of the one child policy, China's hospitals are only getting more and more crowded. Guest relations are a last resort. Priority is getting through the bevy of patients in need. When you first enter the hospital, there's a woman sitting at the main service desk. My simple question,‘ Which floor should I go to?’ was answered with, "It depends if you are 100% sure you are pregnant!” Um...I try to explain, I've tested positive twice, but before I could finish, she waved me off with an impatient “Go the third floor!” We rode the elevator, squashed in with a dozen other women and their partners. The doors opened and my eyes bulged -- there before me were two giant halls - overflowing with no less than 300 people!! There was a long queue winding out of the hall and down the corridor with women lining up to pay for a heart-beat monitor; another shorter queue with women waiting on two blood-pressure machines, and the rest of the space was filled with pregnant women, their mums, husbands and probably mother-in-laws. It was utter bedlam. I tried to gently push through the crowds to get to the counter. Anxious and uncertain, I quietly stammered to the older nurse, "What shall I do when I find out I am pregnant?" She looked at me like I'd asked the silliest question and perhaps I had. She gruffly interrupted with a quick gesture to say, read the procedure on the wall, “You have eyes and are literate right?!” she chided. Side note: Doctors and nurses in public hospitals in China aren't known for their bedside manner. I struggled my way through the people leaning against the wall and read that I would need a hospital card with my name on it and enough money deposited on it to move forward in this pregnancy game! How much money is enough? Well that depends on how much trouble you want to go to. You can just deposit 20RMB ($US3) for a doctor’s appointment but then you'll have to keep running to the machine to deposit for the medicines, blood tests, ultrasounds, etc. And only then can I go online and register to a doctor’s office. (No specific doctor, of course, at this stage.) The security guards were chasing away any male who was standing in the hall that looked out of place (even though they were the equally nervous fathers-to-be); the nurses were frantically writing down blood pressure figures, and while it seemed like everyone else was sitting quietly, the noise was unbearable. And that was my first visit to an Obstetrician/Gynaecologist. (There are few general practitioners and almost everything medical is done in one of China's mammoth hospitals.) Of course, to my dismay, I had to go back again, especially as it has the best doctors in the province and every one, including me, is desperate for the very best treatment. In second or third tier cities, like Xi'an, despite having a population of nine million, private hospitals with good service don't attract the top doctors and they lack first class medical equipment. Of course, it's natural for any new parents to want the best medical care, but the extremes Chinese people go to during pregnancy to ensure a healthy baby are surely debatable. Google "Chinese pregnancy taboos” and you'll be swamped with a million 'do's and don'ts'. A few I have been warned of personally that you might find interesting (or have a chuckle at), but many Chinese take very seriously are: #1 Don't eat crabs! This can cause a difficult labor and the baby could be born sideways. (Like a crab right!) #2 Eating light-coloured food will make your baby fair-skinned, while soy sauce and coffee will ruin the baby’s skin, making them dark, and in China the fairer the better. #3 Eating a lot of black sesame will make the baby’s hair glossy and shiny like black satin; #4 No eating rabbit meat, as this could cause cleft palate (which is quite a big problem in China..and sadly one many parents can't afford to fix, resulting in a huge number of orphans.) #5 You should look at pictures of cute babies constantly, that will make your future baby beautiful (I do find this one kind of cute); #6 Food that is too “cold” should be avoided as nobody wants a miscarriage or diarrhoea. And when I was pregnant five years ago, we were all advised to wear an ‘anti-radiation vest” when sitting in front of a computer or talking on the phone, to block out radiation. When my obstetrician suggested I wear one for the whole pregnancy, I did, but with hindsight, I shouldn’t have, as that thing is thick and heavy and you were not allowed to wash it and I had to wear it for 9 long months!! So, not surprisingly, China is possibly one of the few places where airport security is willing to shut the radiation screening on the security check for a pregnant woman and agree to check her by hand — and that, is quite sweet. And did I mention that many Chinese friend's jaws dropped when they heard I'd be taking multiple planes across continents during my second and early third trimester for travel? Many of them warned me against it, shaking their heads and saying “A friend of a friend's lost their baby after a domestic flight - the doctor's explanation — "It might be true, if you haven't done any other unusual things, because there's not enough oxygen in the plane.” I know, generally speaking, pregnancy is not easy, the world over, but here where it's steeped in tradition, superstition and the (often over bearing but well meaning) advice of elders/friends/or even doctors, it goes to the next level. And the intensity only continues during postpartum, especially that crucial first month. Called "Zuo Yuezi", it is commonly practiced in urban and rural China, and means the new mums must behave according to traditional beliefs and practices. It's believed this will help the new mum regain her strength and protect her health for the future, and includes avoiding cold or salted food; staying inside the house with the doors and windows closed so no wind blows through. (It's thought the wind will blow into the bones of the new mum and cause arthritis and joint pains!) Avoid housework and limit visitors. And because the body structure has changed during pregnancy and labor, Chinese believe women should lie in bed before all the organs in the body move out of position; and definitely no showering or brushing your teeth for this month!! I was thinking these old traditions had died down a little, but recently the fairly modern-looking lady next door told me she didn't get out of her bed unless it was absolutely necessary after giving birth! My eyes widened when she told me she did NOT brush her teeth for a month. But before I could hide my surprise, she said "Yeah, you can be as judgmental as you want, but you will regret it when you have the inside problem in your body when you are older.” Then when I asked how many damaged teeth she had, she shrugged, “Just one cavity, but it was bad and I had to have a crown after the month.” Of course, these old traditions are wise customs from the past, and I do believe, that to some degree, women need enough rest and nutrition after such a major change in their body, and in the past (as little as three decades ago), women were better off following these rules because there was no hot water or heating; a lot of women were doing hard labor work and were malnourished. But with all the amenities and convenience we have now, surely it needs updating? I am not the only one to say that. This age old tradition is bringing new business and "YueZi Zhong Xin" is one. Postpartum care centres for new mums in that first month, are springing up all over the place. Charging from 10,000 RMB (about $1600USD) to 200,000 ($30,000 USD) or even more depending on how luxurious it is, they provide in-room dining up to six times a day, help with breastfeeding and breast massaging, and have nurses on hand to check body measurements. New moms can just rest in their hotel-like bedrooms until care givers bring your baby for feeding. (Sounds just like a regular western hospital, doesn't it?) ;) And now with more migrants and more rich mums trying to deliver babies in developed countries to get their children a “better” passport, there are more postpartum centres thriving in the popular Chinese residing cities like Los Angeles and Toronto. In China, we like to quote Hegel’s saying “What is rational is actual and what is actual is rational.” to explain that everything exists for a reason and these deep-rooted traditions won’t die down in the foreseeable future. After all, everything has its reason. This is China. … [Read more...]
Through the Eyes of My Expat Child! Lessons Learned.
People keep saying to me, “Oh your little girl must be loving the normality of being back home in Australia.” I smile, nodding meekly, not wanting to seem ungrateful for this amazing life Down Under. Sure, she is loving all that being “home” has to offer. Who wouldn't! But then I politely interject with “But for her, this is not normal.” That piercing blue sky creating a vibrant rooftop above us, that’s seriously quite remarkable, but I've gotta be honest, all these bugs...they're really doing her head in...and she hasn't quite figured out how to cross the road, sensibly. My small person was born in the oriental kingdom of Hong Kong six years ago! Despite her Australian citizenship, blonde hair and blue eyes, she will proudly announce to all and sundry, she’s a Honky, through and through. Her preference for rice and dim sum is yet to be surpassed by pizza. Living the expat life meant that when she was just three and a half, with a mix of reluctance and anticipation, we upped stumps and left the glittering fragrant harbour of Hong Kong for more rugged (in every way) pastures in Xi’an, north west China. Wearing a mask for much of winter, even in the playground, the frenetic crowds that never seem to quiet, the neon signs brandishing bold Chinese characters that never seem to dim; the notorious traffic jams that have cars riding mere centimetres from one another… and the random strangers who hoist her up onto their shoulders in the street (without asking) for a prized photo...these are all things, to her, that until now, have been utterly normal. Not to mention, despite our best efforts, it's impossible to understand what most people are saying to you, much of the time. Living Down Under, in a westernised world, for her, is a first. So far, the continuous stream of fresh air and never ending carpet of green grass to roll in (without wondering what's in it), driving our own car from place to place wherever and whenever we may choose and strolling through the quaint neighbourhood to school… is all a joyous novelty. (As are the toy aisles in K Mart.) But what does it really mean to be an expat kid… or as they like to call you a Third Culture Kid? As with just about anything in life, there are pros and cons to growing up in a foreign country and as an expat parent you are constantly asking yourself if you're doing the right thing. Missing out on family back home is clearly the number one drawback… and is one of the major reasons, we are… 'back' after seven years abroad. Now we're here and have come through the initial teething stages, I asked my small person, what she thinks she’s learned living in these countries, now she’s had time to absorb the Aussie life. I think you’ll agree, her answers, though simple and unguarded are truly indicative of what it means to be an expat kid. HAVING FRIENDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD When you’re an expat child, often you’ll go to an international school, rather than a local school. Obviously it depends on the country you’re living in but if their native language is not English, the language barrier at a local school can be difficult and the education system is often not what your child is used to, particularly in China where a local school for Ava would've meant around the clock tuition, seven, long, days a week. An international school will still have a mix of local kids - in our case, many who couldn't speak English - and then a handful of people from all corners of the world. Ava’s mix of friends spanned the globe from American to English, Canadian, Welsh, German, French, Korean, Irish, Italian and of course Chinese…and that was just the kids. Her expat teachers were also from all walks of life giving her their own taste of the world. Having few expats in Xi'an meant the pond from which to choose friends was small…but it meant Ava wasn't just friends with expat kids in her year but kids from every grade and you can bet, they always had each other's back. Thats not to say she wasn't friends with the locals too. When I asked Ava if it was difficult when they couldn't speak much English, she said (in her words) “While it was frustrating on both sides not being able to always talk to all your classmates, you could still play together, Mum!” Language is no barrier when you’re on the slide or doing arts and crafts, right? How do you communicate? Simple, “You just show them or use your hands,” she says. In Australia, Ava is still getting used to having such a wide circle of friends - and mostly they all look like her! Not to mention their mums look just like me! Say it isn’t so! And they’re not arriving at school on the back of a scooter or in a Tuk Tuk. CULTURAL AWARENESS When I asked her what she remembers most about her international school, apart from her friends of course… she says, “celebrating different traditions from all over the world.” From Halloween, to Chinese New Year, the Dragon Boat Festival, the Lantern Festival and Thanksgiving, she’s seen it all and understands that "everybody is different" and we all come from different backgrounds in this diverse land. LEARNING TO ADAPT Do kids adapt easily? I often hear people say children are resilient but sometimes I’m not convinced. I won’t sugar coat it, some days have been tough for Ava. Beneath the smiles and the giggles, there are tears as she gets used to a new life, a new school, a new teacher, new friends, new rules and a new routine. But as she says, when we first went to China, she would cover her ears, the incessant honking of car horns was so loud! Two years later, she barely noticed the noise. Driving to school was always a nightmare in the bumper to bumper traffic and walking into a new school was terrifying, let alone trying to navigate the zig zagging cars, just to get to the front gate. Now she can laugh about those times our driver dropped us at school and actually stuck his hand out like superman to stop the traffic so we could cross. What school zone? No one’s uninvitingly touching her hair and pushing little XiaoWu into her side for a picture, which in those early days had the potential to send Miss Three into a right tiz. By the time she left, while she perhaps never got used to it, she learned to accept it for the harmless curiosity it was. Does she miss the attention? Apparently that's a big, fat NO, mum, with a screwed up face! (And here I was thinking I could get use to the paparazzi.) Of course there's adapting and adopting! Regularly seeing other kids relieve themselves on the side of the road, doesn't mean she follows suit.. she still chuckles at the time(s) her and daddy saw a lady squatting on the toilet with her pants down. APPRECIATING THE LUCKY COUNTRY What’s different about being back? I ask. “Well mum we don’t get things done for us… no one brings our food or cleans our house.” Um, tell me something I don't know! "We don't have big heavenly hotel beds or a big balcony," she says (covered in desert dust, I might add) and now we have to learn to do things for ourselves. Ahhh. Yeh! We do, I say through gritted teeth. But how about not having to brush our teeth with bottled water anymore! Despite being privileged with all the pleasures of a hotel at our beck and call, Ava also realises not every country is the so called "lucky country". Life is more simple here, she says…”Mum you have more friends and they all have pets!” “And there are so many more trees, less pollution and people don’t throw their rubbish or spit!” We can go to a doctor whenever we need to and speak English to him or her and get medicine with relative ease. "Mummy doesn’t fly into a complete meltdown when I get a cold… and run around checking and re-checking medicine supplies." (Just in case.) “Driving our own car is exciting because there’s English music on the radio and I can learn the words….” But being in a car seat is still a little constricting. And much to her dismay, she still has to learn mandarin! ;-) "You can’t help where you’re born though," she says and perhaps that's a fact so many of us forget. … [Read more...]
5 Expat Mistakes and How to Avoid Them!
If you're about to make your big move overseas, this guest post by Mint Mocha Musings' partner OFX hits the nail on the head! In fact, I wish we'd had it before our first expat gig in Hong Kong. These are easy expat mistakes to make, but there are also easy solutions to help you avoid unnecessary headaches while you’re away and when you eventually return home! (Um, let's not mention the time we packed Small Person's birth certificate with the storage and had to traipse around China to get a new one!) 1. Banking Blunders Not retaining an address in your home country. If you don’t have a residential address in your home country, it could be hard to maintain your bank account and difficult to re-establish your credit once you make your way home again. Many people change their on-file banking address so correspondence goes to a parent’s house or another relative. This allows you to keep one foot in your home country, even if you get most banking notifications via email. Closing a credit card account in good standing. According to the experts, closing a credit card in good standing could damage your overall credit score. While you don’t have to keep each and every one of your accounts open while you’re living away from home, you should be careful about which ones you decide to close. It's also helpful to have credit cards in your home currency for domestic purchases, even if you have to pay $75 a year to keep to keep it open, it's worth the fee. When you do close multiple accounts, do so one at a time over a period of time. The more accounts you close at once, the more damage you’ll do to your credit score, and the harder it will be to undo that damage. And for the cards that you do decide to keep open? Let your credit card issuers know about your move in advance. This will prevent them thinking suspicious activity is occurring once you start using the cards overseas and abruptly putting a stop on it. (Which trust me, happens a lot!) 2. Health Insurance Hazards Failing to have the appropriate health coverage. Heading overseas, some people end up with too much health coverage and some with too little. Limited health coverage could end up costing you a lot of money because you'll have to pay for all of your medical expenses out-of-pocket. Too much health insurance and you’ll be paying twice for coverage that a government-funded medical system may already provide. Check what kind of coverage your visa or residency status offers and adjust your investment appropriately. You may be covered under yours or your spouses' new job, so check the policy and make sure it covers all family members. Before moving to another country, do your research into expat health insurance plans because foreign nationals often aren’t entitled to subsidised or free health care. Bear in mind that cheaper plans may not always give you the coverage that you need and you may need extra, especially if you’re planning on travelling to developing countries, where the level of healthcare is substandard. In China, we were also with SOS which makes sure you can fly out of the country should you need to in an emergency. For more info check here. 3. Poor Preparation and Research Arriving empty handed. Some expats have learned the hard way (i.e. yours truly)! It’s very expensive to get college transcripts, birth certificates, marriage certificates and other relevant documents, once you’re already overseas. If you’re applying for jobs, purchasing a property, or even renting, make sure you've packed the relevant documentation in your hand luggage, so you don’t have to waste time and energy waiting for it in the mail or potentially travelling to other cities with embassies etc to get what you need. This also stands for renewing visas, where in some countries, you need all sorts of legal documents. Learning the local language on the fly. It may be impossible to become fluent before you go (and just quietly while you're there) but not knowing the local language is definitely not a good reason not to go. Spending a few hours a week learning some basic vocabulary beforehand and during your time there, can be super helpful. 4. Tax Filing Failures Failing to file your taxes at home and abroad. Taxes become more complicated when you’re an expat. You'll need to meet the regulations and requirements of both your home country and your new residence. Asking tax experts for guidance will ensure you don’t incur penalties for improperly reporting your earnings when working abroad. These same experts will also alert you to tax breaks you can take advantage of as an expat. Not reporting foreign bank accounts and investments. In addition to filing your income as an expat, you might also need to file the appropriate forms to report foreign bank accounts and investments to your home country, otherwise, you could rack up substantial penalties. Financial advisors can answer your questions regarding what accounts need to be reported, and how to do it accurately. 5. Monetary Misfortunes Not establishing a reasonable budget. It can be tempting to spend a lot of money in the first few weeks of being an expat as you settle in, but expat life can be unpredictable, so it’s important to spend with caution. Keeping extra money aside for things like your visa, any necessary permits, your rent, lawyer fees, unplanned holidays, transportation and health costs can help make things less stressful in a foreign country. Not factoring in exchange rates. Your cost of living will change, becoming more expensive or (hopefully) cheaper, once you move overseas. When you’re tallying up your estimated monthly expenses, factor in exchange rates. Use OFX’s currency converter, in this blog's side bar and gauge how far you can stretch your money once it's been converted. You can also use the OFX/Clearfx transfer service to quickly send money online without being hit with high bank margins and fees, which we did regularly! For more about that you can read my post here. Here's to a happy expat life! A Few Extra Tips for Success Set aside additional funds in a separate bank account. Make sure this money will be easy to access as soon as you need it, in case of emergency. If you’re planning on starting a new business venture abroad, keep in mind that cultural differences can be blinding. Give yourself some extra financial cushion and don’t assume that what works in one locale will work in another. … [Read more...]
From a SkyScraper in Hong Kong to a Hotel in China and a Townhouse in Suburban Sydney: Where’s Home?
For the last seven years, as an expat, our housing situation has been anything but “normal”. For the first four years, we lived on Hong Kong’s sparkling harbour side, high up on the 43rd floor of a sprawling, shiny sky scraper in a tiny shoebox. 43 floors up seems considerably tame when you’re next to the world’s 7th tallest building, pushing 108 floors. An enormous shopping centre lurked a convenient lift ride away, sprawled out underneath our complex, complete with movie theatre, ice skating rink and the subway; next door, a mammoth construction site heaved with whirring jack hammers, day and night. It was all part of a buzzing, oriental whirlpool, we liked to call home. After that we brought it down a notch to live on the second floor of hotel residences in the middle of urban China. Bringing it down a notch only in height. We lived above a Rolls Royce showroom and outside the five star (China-style) bubble, we were flanked by shopping centres every which way, street carts full of unidentifiable foods, a 1300 year old Buddhist Pagoda; it’s tiered, concrete exterior the focal point for tourists from right across China, all year ‘round. Not to mention a bevy of unknown people, hanging out on our balcony at any given time, prone to peeking inside our windows for a sticky beak at those foreigners. Life pretty much hummed along to a backdrop of horns honking day and night and someone could always be heard shouting in mandarin …and let’s not forget the fireworks, erupting day and night! (Is it any wonder I mistook the rumble of the washing machine for fireworks the other day?!) And here we are now… a world away, down under in Sydney, Australia. Moving, was always going to be a shock to the system, as expats who've lived abroad for almost seven years - we knew adjusting would take time…And while there are days I want to crawl back into my box and be transported to my bubble in China and everything familiar, living in a fully developed country has its upsides! Everyone can understand me, for starters. There’s an urban expat myth, that puts seven years abroad as the magic number, after that, apparently, your chances of coming home are limited. Looks like we made it just in time. So far we’ve skipped from a hotel room to a temporary air b ’n’ b in inner city suburbia. After a 50 minute hair-raising car ride to school each morning in heart stopping traffic with a non-English speaking driver — walking the leafy, tree-lined street to school in seven minutes flat is an unfamiliar but pleasant concept. I’ll take the smell of grass clippings and Frangipanis over that incinerator smell of pollution any day. Everyone curiously asks why we chose to live in the particular suburb we’re in (not quite as much as we were asked why on earth we chose to live in the middle of China, I might add). Trying to decide where your future will be from afar is not easy and is a little bit like ‘eeny, meeny, miny, mo!” One friend has researched an entire town on the net, found the perfect street, with the best schools and even stalked out the neighbourhood on Facebook. (Just as long as you can see wine in the background at that neighbourhood shindig, I caution her!) For us, at this stage of the game it’s all about convenience. When one of you is starting a brand new job, and travelling and another is starting a brand new school and you’re trying to set up a new life in what is largely an unknown environment, you want to make it as easy as possible. We made a deliberate choice not to return to where we used to live a decade ago. As much as I loved my old life and the suburb will always have a piece of my heart, it’s hard to go back (oh and did I mention, ridiculously expensive). As well as asking where we're living and why, people want to know if we miss China. There's no easy answer to that but yes..and no will do. The thing we miss most about China and probably expat life (apart from our dear friends) is the adrenalin of being on a permanent adventure. I find myself awkwardly trying to explain how even a simple trip to the supermarket is an experience to be believed. As an expat coming home, that sense of adventure still needs fuelling, so somewhere new and unexplored to set up home, is appealing. Psychologists say, “people who go on multiple assignments tend to develop a global identity. They learn fairly quickly how to adjust in each place. And each new country will offer unique thrills and challenges.” Did I mention the challenges of house hunting in the world’s second most unaffordable city? For the past seven Saturdays, we’ve been up and at ‘em with a list of potential homes to start this new chapter in. Coffee in hand, we've covered every nook and cranny...the sat nav purring relentlessly, “At the roundabout take the second exit….” “Your destination is on the left!” (If you see a car driving erratically, that may be us China-dwellers). Pulling up at the 'house of the moment', we’ve gone from asking ourselves: Is she pretty? Does she have character? Where’s the walk in wardrobe? How big is the garage? to “Forget about the grass, is this small patch of concrete ok? Do we really need parking? Perhaps this bedsit will do!” Never mind about the gazillion planes flying overhead, right? Like they said in the famous movie, Castle, it’s all about “Location, location, location." In a city where the market property is so hot, it will literally melt your pockets, the competition is stiff! Come rain (the absolutely bucketing down kind) hail or shine (42 degrees worth) potential buyers have lined up in their droves, outside every. single. house. we’ve viewed. The ubiquitous real estate agent stands at the gate, her smile unwavering as everybody’s name and number is recorded as though it’s some sort of lucky draw. But we all know, it’s more like Russian Roulette. Once inside said house, the air is palpable. There’s barely a smile cracked among scrutinising viewers. Instead, there are sly, sideways glances, each potential buyer covertly checking out the competition, ears pricked…necks craning, trying to garner any tidbit of information on the seriousness of their competitors’ intentions. With your game face firmly on, no one makes eye contact, as you squeeze quietly past one another…in and out of bathrooms and down skinny hallways. Couples retreat to all corners of the property talking in hushed tones. No one dares give away their game plan. And lurking behind to butter up the agent is always a sneaky tactic. Others tap urgently on the walls, as if they’re hoping to find a magic doorway that leads to hidden treasure. Some even turn the lights off in an attempt to make the house look as dingy as possible….. oh wait that was us! Or when you set your heart on a house….stern looks are given, “Excuse me that’s my carpet your standing on with your muddy shoes!” And if you like a house, I mean really like it, you need to have your sh-t together, because if you can’t go for it there and then — you’re totally out of the game. During our military style house hunt, we sneak into an auction to see how it works, because, of course we’re newbies to this whole world. Small person grabs my skirt, hiding behind it. “What are we doing in this lounge with all these people mum? And why is he shouting??” Good question my love, there's a lot to shout about. We find the house for us in the nick of time. Time being of the essence, we see it twice for all of five minutes, before we’re pressed to make the decision of a lifetime. It’s quite fair to say, we spent more time looking at the car we just bought! Once our offer is made, we’re launched into the equivalent of the TV programme, The Amazing Race, in a bid to win the game, hotfooting it all over town to meet demands and deadlines. Then we wait. Finally we get the call, it’s ours - complete with cat flap and stairs - ultimate priorities for the Small Person. We’ve crossed the finish line by the skin of our teeth. Current challenge over. Finding our pocket amongst the madness, has meant compromises. Yet here we are about to move into a townhouse a few kilometres from the city, opposite a hairdressers (yes, ironic) and around the corner from school, a pub and a myriad of cafes. From a strapping skyscraper in Hong Kong to a 5-star hotel in China ....and now a townhouse in suburban Sydney. For now, it's our home. This is Australia. … [Read more...]
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