Mint Mocha Musings

The hotelier's wife: an expat affair around the globe

5 Expat Mistakes and How to Avoid Them!

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If you're about to make your big move overseas, this guest post by Mint Mocha Musings' partner OFX hits the nail on the head! In fact, I wish we'd had it before our first expat gig in Hong Kong. These are easy expat mistakes to make, but there are also easy solutions to help you avoid unnecessary headaches while you’re away and when you eventually return home! (Um, let's not mention the time we packed Small Person's birth certificate with the storage and had to traipse around China to get a new one!) 1. Banking Blunders Not retaining an address in your home country. If you don’t have a residential address in your home country, it could be hard to maintain your bank account and difficult to re-establish your credit once you make your way home again. Many people change their on-file banking address so correspondence goes to a parent’s house or another relative. This allows you to keep one foot in your home country, even if you get most banking notifications via email. Closing a credit card account in good standing. According to the experts, closing a credit card in good standing could damage your overall credit score. While you don’t have to keep each and every one of your accounts open while you’re living away from home, you should be careful about which ones you decide to close. It's also helpful to have credit cards in your home currency for domestic purchases, even if you have to pay $75 a year to keep to keep it open, it's worth the fee. When you do close multiple accounts, do so one at a time over a period of time. The more accounts you close at once, the more damage you’ll do to your credit score, and the harder it will be to undo that damage. And for the cards that you do decide to keep open? Let your credit card issuers know about your move in advance. This will prevent them thinking suspicious activity is occurring once you start using the cards overseas and abruptly putting a stop on it. (Which trust me, happens a lot!) 2. Health Insurance Hazards Failing to have the appropriate health coverage.  Heading overseas, some people end up with too much health coverage and some with too little. Limited health coverage could end up costing you a lot of money because you'll have to pay for all of your medical expenses out-of-pocket. Too much health insurance and you’ll be paying twice for coverage that a government-funded medical system may already provide. Check what kind of coverage your visa or residency status offers and adjust your investment appropriately. You may be covered under yours or your spouses' new job, so check the policy and make sure it covers all family members.   Before moving to another country, do your research into expat health insurance plans because foreign nationals often aren’t entitled to subsidised or free health care. Bear in mind that cheaper plans may not always give you the coverage that you need and you may need extra, especially if you’re planning on travelling to developing countries, where the level of healthcare is substandard. In China, we were also with SOS which makes sure you can fly out of the country should you need to in an emergency. For more info check here. 3. Poor Preparation and Research  Arriving empty handed. Some expats have learned the hard way (i.e. yours truly)! It’s very expensive to get college transcripts, birth certificates, marriage certificates and other relevant documents, once you’re already overseas. If you’re applying for jobs, purchasing a property, or even renting, make sure you've packed the relevant documentation in your hand luggage, so you don’t have to waste time and energy waiting for it in the mail or potentially travelling to other cities with embassies etc to get what you need. This also stands for renewing visas, where in some countries, you need all sorts of legal documents. Learning the local language on the fly. It may be impossible to become fluent before you go (and just quietly while you're there) but not knowing the local language is definitely not a good reason not to go. Spending a few hours a week learning some basic vocabulary beforehand and during your time there, can be super helpful. 4. Tax Filing Failures Failing to file your taxes at home and abroad. Taxes become more complicated when you’re an expat. You'll need to meet the regulations and requirements of both your home country and your new residence. Asking tax experts for guidance will ensure you don’t incur penalties for improperly reporting your earnings when working abroad. These same experts will also alert you to tax breaks you can take advantage of as an expat. Not reporting foreign bank accounts and investments. In addition to filing your income as an expat, you might also need to file the appropriate forms to report foreign bank accounts and investments to your home country, otherwise, you could rack up substantial penalties. Financial advisors can answer your questions regarding what accounts need to be reported, and how to do it accurately. 5. Monetary Misfortunes Not establishing a reasonable budget. It can be tempting to spend a lot of money in the first few weeks of being an expat as you settle in, but expat life can be unpredictable, so it’s important to spend with caution. Keeping extra money aside for things like your visa, any necessary permits, your rent, lawyer fees, unplanned holidays, transportation and health costs can help make things less stressful in a foreign country. Not factoring in exchange rates. Your cost of living will change, becoming more expensive or (hopefully) cheaper, once you move overseas. When you’re tallying up your estimated monthly expenses, factor in exchange rates. Use OFX’s currency converter, in this blog's side bar and gauge how far you can stretch your money once it's been converted. You can also use the OFX/Clearfx transfer service to quickly send money online without being hit with high bank margins and fees, which we did regularly! For more about that you can read my post here. Here's to a happy expat life!  A Few Extra Tips for Success Set aside additional funds in a separate bank account. Make sure this money will be easy to access as soon as you need it, in case of emergency.   If you’re planning on starting a new business venture abroad, keep in mind that cultural differences can be blinding. Give yourself some extra financial cushion and don’t assume that what works in one locale will work in another.  … [Read more...]

From a SkyScraper in Hong Kong to a Hotel in China and a Townhouse in Suburban Sydney: Where’s Home?

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For the last seven years, as an expat, our housing situation has been anything but “normal”. For the first four years, we lived on Hong Kong’s sparkling harbour side, high up on the 43rd floor of a sprawling, shiny sky scraper in a tiny shoebox. 43 floors up seems considerably tame when you’re next to the world’s 7th tallest building, pushing 108 floors. An enormous shopping centre lurked a convenient lift ride away, sprawled out underneath our complex, complete with movie theatre, ice skating rink and the subway; next door, a mammoth construction site heaved with whirring jack hammers, day and night. It was all part of a buzzing, oriental whirlpool, we liked to call home. After that we brought it down a notch to live on the second floor of hotel residences in the middle of urban China. Bringing it down a notch only in height. We lived above a Rolls Royce showroom and outside the five star (China-style) bubble, we were flanked by shopping centres every which way, street carts full of unidentifiable foods, a 1300 year old Buddhist Pagoda; it’s tiered, concrete exterior the focal point for tourists from right across China, all year ‘round. Not to mention a bevy of unknown people, hanging out on our balcony at any given time, prone to peeking inside our windows for a sticky beak at those foreigners. Life pretty much hummed along to a backdrop of horns honking day and night and someone could always be heard shouting in mandarin …and let’s not forget the fireworks, erupting day and night! (Is it any wonder I mistook the rumble of the washing machine for fireworks the other day?!) And here we are now… a world away, down under in Sydney, Australia. Moving, was always going to be a shock to the system, as expats who've lived abroad for almost seven years - we knew adjusting would take time…And while there are days I want to crawl back into my box and be transported to my bubble in China and everything familiar, living in a fully developed country has its upsides! Everyone can understand me, for starters. There’s an urban expat myth, that puts seven years abroad as the magic number, after that, apparently, your chances of coming home are limited. Looks like we made it just in time. So far we’ve skipped from a hotel room to a temporary air b ’n’ b in inner city suburbia. After a 50 minute hair-raising car ride to school each morning in heart stopping traffic with a non-English speaking driver — walking the leafy, tree-lined street to school in seven minutes flat is an unfamiliar but pleasant concept. I’ll take the smell of grass clippings and Frangipanis over that incinerator smell of pollution any day. Everyone curiously asks why we chose to live in the particular suburb we’re in (not quite as much as we were asked why on earth we chose to live in the middle of China, I might add). Trying to decide where your future will be from afar is not easy and is a little bit like ‘eeny, meeny, miny, mo!” One friend has researched an entire town on the net, found the perfect street, with the best schools and even stalked out the neighbourhood on Facebook. (Just as long as you can see wine in the background at that neighbourhood shindig, I caution her!) For us, at this stage of the game it’s all about convenience. When one of you is starting a brand new job, and travelling and another is starting a brand new school and you’re trying to set up a new life in what is largely an unknown environment, you want to make it as easy as possible. We made a deliberate choice not to return to where we used to live a decade ago. As much as I loved my old life and the suburb will always have a piece of my heart, it’s hard to go back (oh and did I mention, ridiculously expensive). As well as asking where we're living and why, people want to know if we miss China. There's no easy answer to that but yes..and no will do. The thing we miss most about China and probably expat life (apart from our dear friends) is the adrenalin of being on a permanent adventure. I find myself awkwardly trying to explain how even a simple trip to the supermarket is an experience to be believed. As an expat coming home, that sense of adventure still needs fuelling, so somewhere new and unexplored to set up home, is appealing. Psychologists say, “people who go on multiple assignments tend to develop a global identity. They learn fairly quickly how to adjust in each place. And each new country will offer unique thrills and challenges.” Did I mention the challenges of house hunting in the world’s second most unaffordable city? For the past seven Saturdays, we’ve been up and at ‘em with a list of potential homes to start this new chapter in. Coffee in hand, we've covered every nook and cranny...the sat nav purring relentlessly, “At the roundabout take the second exit….” “Your destination is on the left!” (If you see a car driving erratically, that may be us China-dwellers). Pulling up at the 'house of the moment', we’ve gone from asking ourselves: Is she pretty? Does she have character? Where’s the walk in wardrobe? How big is the garage? to “Forget about the grass, is this small patch of concrete ok? Do we really need parking? Perhaps this bedsit will do!” Never mind about the gazillion planes flying overhead, right? Like they said in the famous movie, Castle, it’s all about “Location, location, location." In a city where the market property is so hot, it will literally melt your pockets, the competition is stiff! Come rain (the absolutely bucketing down kind) hail or shine (42 degrees worth) potential buyers have lined up in their droves, outside every. single. house. we’ve viewed. The ubiquitous real estate agent stands at the gate, her smile unwavering as everybody’s name and number is recorded as though it’s some sort of lucky draw. But we all know, it’s more like Russian Roulette. Once inside said house, the air is palpable. There’s barely a smile cracked among scrutinising viewers. Instead, there are sly, sideways glances, each potential buyer covertly checking out the competition, ears pricked…necks craning, trying to garner any tidbit of information on the seriousness of their competitors’ intentions. With your game face firmly on, no one makes eye contact, as you squeeze quietly past one another…in and out of bathrooms and down skinny hallways. Couples retreat to all corners of the property talking in hushed tones. No one dares give away their game plan. And lurking behind to butter up the agent is always a sneaky tactic. Others tap urgently on the walls, as if they’re hoping to find a magic doorway that leads to hidden treasure. Some even turn the lights off in an attempt to make the house look as dingy as possible….. oh wait that was us! Or when you set your heart on a house….stern looks are given, “Excuse me that’s my carpet your standing on with your muddy shoes!” And if you like a house, I mean really like it, you need to have your sh-t together, because if you can’t go for it there and then — you’re totally out of the game. During our military style house hunt, we sneak into an auction to see how it works, because, of course we’re newbies to this whole world. Small person grabs my skirt, hiding behind it. “What are we doing in this lounge with all these people mum? And why is he shouting??” Good question my love, there's a lot to shout about. We find the house for us in the nick of time. Time being of the essence, we see it twice for all of five minutes, before we’re pressed to make the decision of a lifetime. It’s quite fair to say, we spent more time looking at the car we just bought! Once our offer is made, we’re launched into the equivalent of the TV programme, The Amazing Race, in a bid to win the game, hotfooting it all over town to meet demands and deadlines. Then we wait. Finally we get the call, it’s ours - complete with cat flap and stairs - ultimate priorities for the Small Person. We’ve crossed the finish line by the skin of our teeth. Current challenge over. Finding our pocket amongst the madness, has meant compromises. Yet here we are about to move into a townhouse a few kilometres from the city, opposite a hairdressers (yes, ironic) and around the corner from school, a pub and a myriad of cafes.  From a strapping skyscraper in Hong Kong to a 5-star hotel in China ....and now a townhouse in suburban Sydney.  For now, it's our home. This is Australia. … [Read more...]

#TheBigMove: From Expatriation to Repatriation – The Ultimate Survival Guide

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When you go overseas as an “expat” invariably a lot of the ‘organising’ is done for you, under what’s known as an ‘expat package’. And while they are not seen to be quite as prestigious as they once were in the days of old, they do offer a level of financial comfort and help with acclimitisation.  Whilst they clearly differ greatly, from job to job, country to country, person to person, usually there are a number of perks that go hand in hand with living in a foreign country, whether it’s paid international schooling, regular paid trips back to your hometown,  rental accommodation and food paid for (or at least partly reinmbursed), a car, a driver, or both etc.   And often many of the countries today that require expats to work in them are still developing, which means for the most part, your lifestyle is going to be a lot cheaper than the one back home.  Many companies have a rating system for the countries they send foreigners into, depending on the level of hardship they represent. The harder it’s deemed to live there, the more perks you get to make up for it, not to mention 25 per cent salary weighting, in many cases. Xi’an in north west China is dubbed 'a city of extreme hardship' by many corporate companies, but sadly it wasn’t deemed so for us, with many more hotels in far more remote places in China, laying claim that title. Still, I’m not complaining, after all we did get to live in a hotel, and as much as that also came with its drawbacks, many of you will have heard me attest, yes that did mean I could dial 0 for room service, at any time, day or night!   Coming back the other way, though, requires a very different 'state of mind'. (If you have to look at You Tube when it comes to operating the vacuum, let’s just say, you’re not alone!)  Still, in the eyes of many (including your employer’s) it’s your home town right? Or at least your home country, so on the surface, you should be pleased as punch and find everything fairly straightforward.  Apart from a few acknowledgements, aka “we know this must be quite tough for you, settling back in” it’s just a case of quietly slipping back in and getting on with it, isn’t it? For us, yes, a lot of it is remarkably foolproof (except those dang vacuums). With English as the native language it makes for a pretty good start. Just how far can you go wrong? Being understood wherever you set foot is a major bonus. But don’t be fooled, setting up a new life is not without its challenges. First of all there’s that thing called ‘reverse culture shock’, which for all intents and purposes is a genuine thing! You may have read about our first few weeks Down Under in my previous post: Aliens Down Under. "What do you mean, you keep mistaking the rumbles of the washing machine for fireworks outside?! This isn’t China!" A friend says. But to me, the latter seems far more plausible. On a practical note, moving back the 'other way' can also set you back a small fortune, so be prepared!  A lot of the time, companies will foot the bill for specific things like flights home, temporary accommodation, storage of belongings etc, but they will often expect you to pay first and reimburse you, (sometimes much) later. Savings or a high limit Credit Card that works everywhere is a pre-requisite in a move like this. Even if you’re in line for a company credit card, it’s not always immediate.  So, when that call comes to move back home — as much as you’re either whooping for joy or (like us) quietly scared out of your wits  - there are some crucial things you’ll need to get onto, pronto! Without sending you into a pre-move meltdown (which is also highly acceptable), here’s the list to get you into gear! If anything, the big move will surely test your admin skills, not to mention your ability to multi-task especially when it’s all done in the middle of packing, unpacking, plane trips, hellos, goodbyes, old jobs, new jobs, old schools, new schools! REMOVALISTS Sometimes the company you’re moving home with will help you organise this, but often they won’t or perhaps you are moving of your own accord, so the buck stops with you.  You’ll need to find professional removalists asap and have a set date for it all to unfold.  Shipping companies want inventories of everything you’re sending and if you’re coming from a country like China, for example, there is a list a mile long of things that can’t leave the country with you (i.e. no prescription medication, cleaning products or food). Some things can be a little on the absurd side, ahh hello ‘no Christmas decorations’ so don’t be afraid to challenge them.   You will usually be required to get three quotes for your company, which means three different moving companies coming to assess your treasures well before the big day!  Once the removal company is chosen, they will want an itemised list and possibly the value of everything you intend to ship back. Can you even remember? How about what’s in storage? A handy tip, is to keep anything like this on file for future moves.  It can take two or three days to pack your belongings, so be prepared. And if you’re doing it yourself, we all know this is no mean feat. Even if you’re not physically packing your belongings in boxes, it’s a major effort sorting through a few years of taking shelter in one home. What seems like a small job can take weeks, so my advice - start early!  Shipping can take anywhere from several weeks to a few months so whatever you do, don’t forget to leave enough clothes, medications, kid’s toys, books, as well as important documents like birth certificates, marriage certificates, evidence of shipping, moving companies, bank statements, pay slips etc. (I cannot stress the latter enough)! In saying this, you also need to check how many kilos you’re allowed on the flight home and if you’re up for paying for excess baggage, or if this is something your company will foot the bill for. If you need to get rid of things, start early, advertising amongst friends or on relevant online sights. And it may seem obvious but if you're somewhere that hasn't involved travel (highly unlikely) make sure your passport is up to date with six months validity. Check your previous contracts and make sure there are no clauses about repaying things you’ve received in the expat package, i.e. kids school fees in advance.  If, you’re not moving back into your old home or are temporarily renting, make sure you’ve got storage set up for your belongings when the shipping does arrive. PETS If you bought a pet overseas who has now become a bonafide member of the family, there’s no way you’re leaving your pampered pooch or kitty cat behind, right? But first things first, you should really check the rules in your home country. In Australia, they are tough! (Who can forget Johnny Depp’s dog!) There was no way we were getting a pet overseas no matter how hard Small Person pleaded (and mummy hoped) because it’s a long, long wait in quarantine and an expensive exercise. Also check with the company repatriating you as the return cost may be part of your package. (Side note: Back home, currently scouting pet shops!)  SELLING/BUYING A HOUSE Perhaps you’ve got an investment property or a house that’s no longer suitable for your now larger family? You’ll need to look into selling this if it’s something you need to do to get a more suitable property. Set the wheels in motion as soon as you can. It’s not a quick task. Start with a call to your real estate agent back home. If you do plan to buy a house, at any time of life, this is a pretty big life decision. You’ll need to make sure your finances are in order. (Which means having a bank account in Australia or the country you’re going to) make sure they’re willing to give you a home loan, research the legalities in that city, like capital gains tax, stamp duty, real estate fees, solicitor fees etc. If you are searching from overseas or simply don’t have the time to look once you’re back, a buyer’s agent is often a great solution. House hunting every Saturday is a big commitment! FYI - a lot of banks won’t talk to you until you are on the ground.  TRANSPORT If you’ve been away for any length of time, it’s more than likely you no longer own a car… and if you’re like us, perhaps haven’t paid much attention to cars, models etc in many years. You’ll also need to research what’s out there and what’s affordable for you and your new life. With a new package that’s not an expat package, going home can be significantly more expensive. “Ah hello Nicole, that’s right, no mini convertible for you!” Oh and will you and your spouse both need cars? Can one of you take public transport? Don’t forget with buying a car, comes the added expenses of registration, insurance, tags for the tolls, finance, petrol etc. Thankfully as we found out, most dealerships will sort out the registration for you. Remember, you will need insurance before your car leaves the lot.  And if public transport is on your radar, check the current status. For example in Sydney they no longer take cash on busses and trains, it’s all about the Opal card. Oh and is your driver’s license current? You may be required to drive the minute you’re home, and if you haven’t for sometime, there’s every chance you’ve neglected to look at your licence. Can you even find it? Dig it out and make sure it’s current or start organising how to renew it.  HEALTH INSURANCE You’ve probably been covered under some pretty hefty health insurance as an expat… there’s every likelihood this won’t be the case back home and you’ll need to take out your own or potentially see what your company now offers and what that covers. Don’t forget, if you’ve been away for a significant period, things change in the local health systems. You may need to renew things like your local health card - as I found out, if you’ve been away overseas for more than six years, the equivalent in Australia, known as a Medicare card needs to be applied for, all over again!  You may also need certain vaccinations for your new country, particularly if your children are starting a new school which expects them to be up to date with the country’s specific immunisations. If you can do this in your current country, it will save one more thing to do when you arrive. If you’re in a second tier city like China though, it's clearly not possible, so check out which doctors will do it as soon as you arrive home.  ACCOMMODATION Next thing is to make sure you’ve got appropriate accommodation when you return home. If it’s not to your old house or staying with family…can you afford a hotel/serviced apartment until you find more permanent lodgings? Depending on the city you’re going to be residing in, these may not be cheap. Try Air B n B’s…which can be a little cheaper in the short term. Plus make sure you are set up with most every day essentials you’re likely to need. If you’ve got children, mum's desperate for them they’ll probably need to to start school asap! This can prove a catch 22 (and a major headache) with a lot of schools wanting you to be in the right ‘catchment zone’ before they “let you in”. Make sure you read up on this and know your options. One idea is to rent in the area you want your child to go to school in, but then you may also have the added pressure of buying property in that particular zone. Don’t be afraid to keep your kids home for a few weeks until things are clearer in your mind.  If you need to rent somewhere, and the city you’re returning to is not your old city, do some research on which areas will suit you and your family. Is it close to work? Will there be a commute required? What are the schools like? What’s around the area? And, realistically are the suburbs you like affordable?  If you’ve been living overseas in a city environment, you may find it difficult slipping back into suburban life. Perhaps you need to choose suburbs more reflective of your current situation, to ease yourself back into your new life and make assimilation that little bit easier? COMMUNICATION Once you come out of hibernation, you may very well need to get yourself a new phone if you’ve been on a company phone. Or like me, had a phone courtesy of my husband’s company. You'll also need a new plan or at the very least a SIM card. There are plenty of new options out there now so do your research. Most plans these days, do include the cost of the phone. It’s a good idea to check that where ever you are setting up home temporarily also has the internet, if this is also something that’s crucial to your daily life. NO FIXED ADDRESS As with anything like the above, most places (rather inconveniently) want an address from you, which can be a complete 'p in the a' when you’re in a hotel for a few weeks and trying to set everything up or in temporary accommodation. Can you use someone else’s address, a friend or someone in the family?  A lot of these “setting up” process also require pay slips, evidence of utility bills etc which can be frustrating, when you’re madly trying to explain you’ve just come out of Mozambique or similar. Yes, really! BANK ACCOUNTS During your time abroad, there’s a good chance you may also have let your bank accounts lapse. Check that you’ve got at least one account for your new pay to go into (often the company will set this up but it may not be straight away) and a credit card that can be used in your home country. If you do want to send your money back home before you get there.. we've always used OFX and they are a long time partner of Mint Mocha Musings. Click here if you'd like more information. NEW JOB If you or your husband is starting a brand new job, this is more than likely going to take up a lot of the spouse’s time trying to settle in and process everything. You’ll probably be used to it - having already made the big move abroad (most likely) for work and returning home is no different. Expect the unexpected and to feel unsettled….knowing this too shall pass. Rome wasn’t built in a day.  If you or your partner that’s not employed is also looking for a new job, it can be a double dose of chaos. Try to manage it as best you can and remove those pre-conceived expectations of wanting it all organised NOW. OLD STOMPING GROUND You’re also (hopefully) likely to have a lot of family/old friends wanting to catch up and see how you are and there’s absolutely no doubt, if you’re like me, you’ll be wanting to touch base with everyone, immediately. This is where you need to hold your horses.    Take it slowly and remember it’s simply not possible to see everyone, at. the.same.time! Just stepping out of your comfort zone into a new country, even if it is home, can be overwhelming and fraught with new experiences, good and bad. It’s no longer your ‘new normal’ and settling in is a process which hopefully your friends will understand  when you need to say 'no thanks' until the time is right. After all, don’t they say moving countries, starting a new job, selling a house and buying a new home (each on their own merits) are in the list of the top most stressful life events?  And, remember to breathe…. This is repatriation.  You’ve got this!     **If you missed my post on making the decision to repatriate….check it out here!  … [Read more...]

Aliens Down Under? Three Weeks In…..This is Australia

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What is it about Australians and muesli bars?  You might remember at the writers conference I went to in Guangzhou, a lovely Tassie lady saved my bacon, digging into her rations to supply my rumbling stomach with a muesli bar?  Well, it happened again the other day, here in Sydney. This time at the city dry cleaners. Picking up my clothes, she disappeared out the back, unexpectedly returning with a big smile and a muesli bar in each hand for Small Person and I!   Maybe I just look hungry! But I highly doubt that… I think it’s just the friendly, giving nature of the good ole' Aussie… (and perhaps their love of the humble muesli bar)! ;)  My American friend made me giggle when I sent her a pic of Small Person in her new school uniform. She joked, "It's so bloody jolly" and that pretty much sums up the whole country!  She’s right… being back here after 6.5 years away, Australians are a pretty chirpy bunch (especially when Chinese aren’t known for cracking a smile at the best of times).  To be honest though, as much as part of me is revelling in all the little chats with random strangers on every corner, the constant torrent of the English language everywhere you turn, for me, is almost an assault on the senses. For the best part of seven years, I've been able to ignore most signs, television, radio and for that matter, people! So much white noise! 8-O   Sometimes I feel like I may need to crawl into a box to escape the overwhelming flow of information. The prawns, the barbies, the Aussie soaps and reality TV shows, the shark sightings, the heat waves….the mozzies, the bushfires, the politics…. all that “Aussie-ness!” sure takes a bit of getting used to again.  There’s no denying, those first few days we were a little shell-shocked, which from experience, I'm pretty sure will only intensify as the novelty of starting a new life again, becomes reality. At the moment we’re still riding in the whirlpool that is leaving China and abruptly landing Down Under; Everything feels so familiar but at the same time, completely foreign!  That feeling, when you open the daily newspaper and nothing really looks familiar. I remember it distinctly in both Hong Kong and China, and in the latter, never thought I’d be interested in reading their paper. Two years in, it was my daily staple. But starting again is also amusing and a little bit of fun. (Perhaps it's that expat addiction of doing something out of your comfort zone?) Small Person is settling in remarkably well despite bouts of apprehension and nerves. Her first words off the plane…. “I can breathe again.”  And then later… “Mum we don’t have to worry about cars on the footpath here do we!” Then, "Why, oh why do we have to wait so long at the crossing?" At the school gate we are definitely the new kids on the block. It's a bit scary, it's isolating but we are used to this. I keep chanting the mantra, "We've got this!"  Of course, the fact that at school drop off, everyone looks like mum, is highly amusing to Small Person! I’m not sure if this is a good thing or slightly frightening…. and the fact that everyone around her can speak English is bound to be a bonus and let’s not forget the constant chatter of kids TV on tap (we’ll just overlook the small fact that she couldn’t work out how to use the TV remote)! And then...there's the beach, after school. Enough said. I like to tease her when we get in the car and say "Where's your mask!!" For a split second her eyes widen. Then she laughs, most likely with relief.  She still prefers rice over pizza for dinner though and I can't see that changing anytime soon for my self described 'Honky girl!'   And China, it seems, is never far from us......Down Under, there's no escaping Xi'an!  For me, so far, apart from the obvious (hello family - a hop, skip and jump away ....and of course, an abundance of muesli bars) driving has got to be one of the highlights! I feel like a kid who just got her license! The independence, the freedom….the music… and those blue skies! This school run couldn't be more different. (Although I did find myself listening to Chinese radio.) To be honest, driving is one of the things I was most nervous about. Driving my girl to school that first morning in my “No Birds” hire car, from the bustling city to an unknown suburb, anxiety levels were surely peaking…but 'hello Google Maps' and 'hello, yes it really is like riding a bike'. *Note to expats coming home, you really don’t forget how to drive! (I must say, I’m speaking for myself here….the hotelier may have a different experience…don’t forget the hand break darling! ;) ...Oh and don’t forget to pay for the petrol!)  :mrgreen:  Must admit the temptation to drive through the lights that take so damn long to change is strong. There’s alot to be said for the beast that is China’s constant force of moving traffic. What you do forget is HOW much there is to organise to set up a new life! Don’t worry, I’ve got a post coming with the 'to do' list soon. Let’s just say, logistically, going overseas as an expat is a hell of a lot easier than repatriating.  (Friends, if you’ve been calling, I’ll be up for air soon!!!) And if you’ve tried to call me - sorry I forgot you can actually have voice mail here!  And what do you mean Bank Lady, "What colour bank card do I want?" There's a choice?  And Pay Pass? What’s that! Opal ticket? Never heard of it. Do I need an E-Tag? Oh and a new medicare card! Is this small number actually my phone number? And never mind that the hotelier actually thought the buzzer we were given at a pub restaurant was to pay your credit card.  :roll:  Looking at social media is almost tiring because it is just SO instant. No VPN required and tedious spinning just to open Facebook! Going to the shops, bank, hairdresser, doctors, even buying a car....is ridiculously easy when you don’t have to keep opening your translation app to search for the right word.  Yep, folks, this is repatriation.  It’s a little like putting on an old, comfy pair of pants but they don’t quite fit. I guess it’s because ultimately it’s not a case of slotting back into your old life (and pants) because mostly you don’t really want to (Ok, I really would like to slot back into my old pants).  It’s not because you hated your old life (quite the opposite in fact) but because things change. Things move on, obviously. And you change. You’ve seen, done and experienced things you never imagined you’d do. You’ve met people from every part of the planet… you’ve struggled and you’ve thrived. Your coping mechanisms have been stretched as far as the elastic will go.  We left Sydney in 2010 as relative newlyweds, DINKS if you like. Double Income, No kids. Life was pretty sweet. Now we’re coming up to eight years of marriage and one kid in the bag who’s never known Australia as home. Sydney looks a lot different to us all. (And, yes, a lot more expensive!) Feeling very much like expats in a new city, we’ll continue exploring our old stomping ground with a renewed enthusiasm, fresh eyes and fresh air.  There will no doubt be hiccups along the way, but as long as there are strangers offering museli bars, we’ll be right, mate. This is Australia.  … [Read more...]

Dear China, Thanks for the Memories!

by

Dear China, I feel like a bit of a traitor just taking off and leaving you like that but rest assured, while I've reached out to greener (fresher) pastures, you will not be forgotten. I want to thank you for taking me into your arms two and a half years ago when I was wide eyed and let’s face it, more than a little petrified as I stood in the rain, peering up at your famous 1300 year old Pagoda, opposite our new home (the hotel), trying to understand its significance. Your world looked anything but familiar to me, and that was (surprisingly) despite having lived in the oriental harbour city of Hong Kong for four years.  I smiled through clenched teeth and fought back tears as I tried to stay calm for my excited but nervous three and a half year old, who was yet to comprehend why her old world had been replaced by this new, raw version of the Orient. Back then it felt like English was rarely spoken, even in the confines of the hotel, a conversation was, at best, challenging. I remember finding that one single foreigner working there and clinging to his words like bees to honey. Outside of the hotel bubble, those early months felt like I was treading water, desperately trying to stay afloat. Routine was everything, yet we had none. A trip to two “international” schools set up for those few expats in town and wealthy Chinese had me anxious when I learned five full days in class was the norm for my Small Person, one of the few Westerners on the block. A trip to my local hairdresser for an attempt at colouring my blonde hair had me in tears. Not because I’m vain (ok, maybe a little) but because it was then I realised I was completely alone and had no clue how to communicate my thoughts to a group of people looking at me like I really was an alien. Our first visa run had me in shock as we were shoved this way and that, poked and prodded in full view of a very inquisitive audience. A bizarre visit to the local doctor who asked me for advice on which drugs I needed and then wanted a photo together!  It was all indicative of everything we attempted to do in a bid to set up a life in China, in those early days. Back then, I didn’t realise that while you boast the world’s second biggest economy and churn out much of the world’s goods not to mention the world’s most travellers ….. essentially much of you is still developing, still learning and still adapting to life in the 21st Century.  I soon found out that you are a nation full of contradictions.  Xi’an may have been your capital for 13 dynasties, but her lack of exposure to the modern world meant for the most part, you were still learning much of what the Western world had already conquered. I learned that despite how far you’ve come, authoritarian rule is still your preferred mode of governing. Censorship is par for the course. A quick Google soon confirmed that, as did watching my television go to black regularly, simply because it was something your government wanted to shield us from. Controls over things that involve people’s safety and livelihoods though seem minimal.  Smoking is still in force like it’s the 1970’s… when it comes to the roads, rules are few and far between and riding motorbikes without a helmet, with phone and at least three or four passengers (including children) is completely normal. Pollution during those winter months is literally off the radar, at least north of the Yangtze River. When you walk outside and it smells and tastes like an incinerator and pollution levels are '20 times' the healthy limit, you have no choice but to shrug, put your mask on and get on with it -- as much as your head tells you, it’s a ludicrous way to live (and some locals will tell you to "go for a run, it'll strengthen your lungs")! I’ve learned to strategically avoid those small wet patches of spit that litter the ground; and not to bat an eyelid when I see small (and big people) relieving themselves, mid squat in the middle of a busy footpath. Fast forward almost three years and like a toddler emerging into childhood, I can appreciate you’re changing and developing at a rapid pace, perhaps unparalleled in world history.  English doesn’t seem as hard to come by, both spoken and written… but perhaps that’s just because I’ve added a little bit of my own Chinese into the mix to help with our communication. Those things that seemed incredibly hard are still incredibly hard, but perhaps our indifference or constant exposure to it, has made it all the more bearable. They are now just "China moments." A city of nine million that had very few restaurants and bars outside those local watering holes overflowing with spicy noodles and bbq skewers now has an abundance of new hotspots of every flavour on every corner. There is an element of the West weaving its way into society, rightly or wrongly and the nouveau riche are dividing classes like never before.  Despite the hairdresser telling me I’ve got "farmers hands" one day and am a little “alien” like the next, as he rifles through my shopping bags to see "what she buys", we have become firm friends. That day I cried, clearly still etched firmly in his mind he tells me, as he bids Small Person and I farewell with bear hugs and promises to visit Australia.  Those hairy car rides to school no longer have me in a state of shock…. Frank (the driver) and I have settled into a comfortable daily routine. Every morning, come rain, hail, shine (or snow) he waits downstairs, standing at the car door, ready to greet us with a smiley “Zao Shang Hao” (Good Morning), helps to buckle Small Person in as she squirms and fidgets, and off we roar into the morning chaos...  Despite never having spoken a word of English bar “Ok” - he quite possibly knows more about us and vice versa than either party would care to. We know he likes to put on the morning talkback shows in Chinese while he fiddles with his beads all the way to school, weaving in and out of tuk tuks, two wheelers, and overcrowded busses, beeping the horn with gusto.  We know that after dropping us off, he’ll usually sneak in a cigarette at the bus stop until he sees me coming back and then does a six point turn in the middle of a crowded school street - traffic banks up, while I wait awkwardly at the side of the road, pretending it’s all completely normal. And it is. We have reached an 'unspoken understanding' and perhaps an appreciation of each other. That's evident when my girl draws him a goodbye picture and we give him some new beads. Then there’s the security guards at the school gate that greet me with a big hello and goodbye every day, proudly in their few English words… and once in an unexpected downpour, run out to the car with me holding an umbrella over my head…yet still won't let me inside the school gates unless my I.D is hanging around my neck. My last week in China was no different to the entire two and a half years… unpredictable and challenging! If nothing else China, you are consistent in that nothing is ever straightforward! A book interview with an American-English teacher in the north of the city; a lunch with school mums from China, America and Brazil at a kitsch Chinese restaurant, overflowing with statues, local red wine, a warm drink made from dates, Peking Duck and spicy noodles. All followed by a twenty minute wait in zero temperatures (outside the school gate) and then a regular school pick up that unexpectedly becomes the end of the school term, closing abruptly due to extreme pollution levels! This also unexpectedly makes it my Small Person’s last day, ever, so I'm forever grateful her teacher has the foresight to run out at the eleventh hour and get her a goodbye cake!  Then a farewell night out that ended at a “Gentleman’s Club” which isn’t as risqué as you might think! Curious to see what it was all about…we enter the shiny, new establishment (one of many that has sprung up in our local neighbourhood) all in the name of checking out the "competition!" Chandeliers, leather sofas and karaoke (China’s other love). In the spirit of a 'proper' Chinese night out, we find ourselves agreeing to hit up the microphone with a few tunes. A dozen beers are delivered and then... as an added bonus, we're treated to a line up of suitable men of all 'shapes and sizes' to choose from (including the token 'foreigner' who hails from Kazakstan)!! All for ‘company’ we're told…or as we soon find out in between giggles,  a university student to sit amongst our group, make strained conversation, drink our beer, smoke cigarettes and sing the odd Chinese pop song! China, you will forever have me bamboozled by your extremes - from the overwhelming poverty that envelopes you, to the ever-increasing number of Rolls Royces cruising the streets; to the intense effort given to academic education yet lack of life guidance; to the seemingly selfish public acts yet incredible acts of kindness, to the strict censorship but overly flexible road rules; the human trafficking and domestic violence but feeling of peace and safety on the streets, to the emphasis on Guanxi (networking) and family but the inability to lose face…and those layers upon layers of ‘bureaucracy!’ China, both your complex and simple personality traits have made it possible for me to love you, yet loathe you - all in the same breath. But just as you’re changing, I hope that I am too. Still fresh out of your grip, it’s too soon to tell how you've changed me. Only time will tell.   One thing’s for sure, you’ve taught me to be more open and tolerant and definitely not to sweat the small stuff.  I’ve learned that trying to understand cultural differences, nuances and a country’s history is not always easy but it is the key to understanding a nation and every thread that intertwines to makes up the fabric of your society is to be appreciated.   Your spirit and strength in overcoming a recent history of oppression and poverty is admirable. As different as China can at times seem from the world in which we know, and as much as that old mantra, ‘survival of the fittest’ still rings true for many of you….there is no mistaking, you have a nation of people only too willing to show an outsider kindness. And that for me, has counted for a lot.  (If only someone had told us what's in the tap water sooner!) ;) It's not goodbye, it's see you later! This is China …. and you’ve stolen a little piece of my heart. … [Read more...]