Mint Mocha Musings

The hotelier's wife: an expat affair around the globe

Through the Eyes of My Expat Child! Lessons Learned.

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  People keep saying to me, “Oh your little girl must be loving the normality of being back home in Australia.”  I smile, nodding meekly, not wanting to seem ungrateful for this amazing life Down Under. Sure, she is loving all that being “home” has to offer. Who wouldn't! But then I politely interject with “But for her, this is not normal.”  That piercing blue sky creating a vibrant rooftop above us, that’s seriously quite remarkable, but I've gotta be honest, all these bugs...they're really doing her head in...and she hasn't quite figured out how to cross the road, sensibly.  My small person was born in the oriental kingdom of Hong Kong six years ago! Despite her Australian citizenship, blonde hair and blue eyes, she will proudly announce to all and sundry, she’s a Honky, through and through. Her preference for rice and dim sum is yet to be surpassed by pizza. Living the expat life meant that when she was just three and a half, with a mix of reluctance and anticipation, we upped stumps and left the glittering fragrant harbour of Hong Kong for more rugged (in every way) pastures in Xi’an, north west China.  Wearing a mask for much of winter, even in the playground, the frenetic crowds that never seem to quiet, the neon signs brandishing bold Chinese characters that never seem to dim; the notorious traffic jams that have cars riding mere centimetres from one another… and the random strangers who hoist her up onto their shoulders in the street (without asking) for a prized photo...these are all things, to her, that until now, have been utterly normal. Not to mention, despite our best efforts, it's impossible to understand what most people are saying to you, much of the time. Living Down Under, in a westernised world, for her, is a first.  So far, the continuous stream of fresh air and never ending carpet of green grass to roll in (without wondering what's in it), driving our own car from place to place wherever and whenever we may choose and strolling through the quaint neighbourhood to school… is all a joyous novelty. (As are the toy aisles in K Mart.)  But what does it really mean to be an expat kid… or as they like to call you a Third Culture Kid? As with just about anything in life, there are pros and cons to growing up in a foreign country and as an expat parent you are constantly asking yourself if you're doing the right thing.  Missing out on family back home is clearly the number one drawback… and is one of the major reasons, we are… 'back' after seven years abroad. Now we're here and have come through the initial teething stages, I asked my small person, what she thinks she’s learned living in these countries, now she’s had time to absorb the Aussie life. I think you’ll agree, her answers, though simple and unguarded are truly indicative of what it means to be an expat kid. HAVING FRIENDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD When you’re an expat child, often you’ll go to an international school, rather than a local school. Obviously it depends on the country you’re living in but if their native language is not English, the language barrier at a local school can be difficult and the education system is often not what your child is used to, particularly in China where a local school for Ava would've meant around the clock tuition, seven, long, days a week. An international school will still have a mix of local kids - in our case, many who couldn't speak English - and then a handful of people from all corners of the world.  Ava’s mix of friends spanned the globe from American to English, Canadian, Welsh, German, French, Korean, Irish, Italian and of course Chinese…and that was just the kids. Her expat teachers were also from all walks of life giving her their own taste of the world. Having few expats in Xi'an meant the pond from which to choose friends was small…but it meant Ava wasn't just friends with expat kids in her year but kids from every grade and you can bet, they always had each other's back. Thats not to say she wasn't friends with the locals too. When I asked Ava if it was difficult when they couldn't speak much English, she said (in her words) “While it was frustrating on both sides not being able to always talk to all your classmates, you could still play together, Mum!” Language is no barrier when you’re on the slide or doing arts and crafts, right? How do you communicate? Simple, “You just show them or use your hands,” she says.  In Australia, Ava is still getting used to having such a wide circle of friends - and mostly they all look like her! Not to mention their mums look just like me! Say it isn’t so! And they’re not arriving at school on the back of a scooter or in a Tuk Tuk. CULTURAL AWARENESS When I asked her what she remembers most about her international school, apart from her friends of course… she says, “celebrating different traditions from all over the world.”  From Halloween, to Chinese New Year, the Dragon Boat Festival, the Lantern Festival and Thanksgiving, she’s seen it all and understands that "everybody is different" and we all come from different backgrounds in this diverse land.   LEARNING TO ADAPT Do kids adapt easily? I often hear people say children are resilient but sometimes I’m not convinced. I won’t sugar coat it, some days have been tough for Ava. Beneath the smiles and the giggles, there are tears as she gets used to a new life, a new school, a new teacher, new friends, new rules and a new routine. But as she says, when we first went to China, she would cover her ears, the incessant honking of car horns was so loud! Two years later, she barely noticed the noise. Driving to school was always a nightmare in the bumper to bumper traffic and walking into a new school was terrifying, let alone  trying to navigate the zig zagging cars, just to get to the front gate. Now she can laugh about those times our driver dropped us at school and actually stuck his hand out like superman to stop the traffic so we could cross. What school zone?  No one’s uninvitingly touching her hair and pushing little XiaoWu into her side for a picture, which in those early days had the potential to send Miss Three into a right tiz. By the time she left, while she perhaps never got used to it, she learned to accept it for the harmless curiosity it was. Does she miss the attention? Apparently that's a big, fat NO, mum, with a screwed up face! (And here I was thinking I could get use to the paparazzi.)  Of course there's adapting and adopting! Regularly seeing other kids relieve themselves on the side of the road, doesn't mean she follows suit.. she still chuckles at the time(s) her and daddy saw a lady squatting on the toilet with her pants down.  APPRECIATING THE LUCKY COUNTRY What’s different about being back? I ask. “Well mum we don’t get things done for us… no one brings our food or cleans our house.” Um, tell me something I don't know! "We don't have big heavenly hotel beds or a big balcony," she says (covered in desert dust, I might add) and now we have to learn to do things for ourselves. Ahhh. Yeh! We do, I say through gritted teeth. But how about not having to brush our teeth with bottled water anymore!  Despite being privileged with all the pleasures of a hotel at our beck and call, Ava also realises not every country is the so called "lucky country".  Life is more simple here, she says…”Mum you have more friends and they all have pets!” “And there are so many more trees, less pollution and people don’t throw their rubbish or spit!” We can go to a doctor whenever we need to and speak English to him or her and get medicine with relative ease. "Mummy doesn’t fly into a complete meltdown when I get a cold… and run around checking and re-checking medicine supplies." (Just in case.)  “Driving our own car is exciting because there’s English music on the radio and I can learn the words….” But being in a car seat is still a little constricting. And much to her dismay, she still has to learn mandarin!  ;-)  "You can’t help where you’re born though," she says and perhaps that's a fact so many of us forget.   … [Read more...]

China’s Smoking Gun: Somebody’s Making a Killing! #ThisisChina

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When your taxi driver casually offers you a cigarette, Toto, you know you’re not in Kansas anymore. When I first arrived in Xi'an, China, it felt like a time machine had transported me back into a bygone era.  Rampant smoking was one of the first signs that I'd stepped straight into the 50’s, the 60’s or even the 70’s. One thing was clear, it wasn't the naughties! In most western countries in 2017, smoking is discouraged with vehement education programs, smoking bans and ugly, graphic images on cigarette packets, that cost you an arm and a leg! In downtown Xi’an, smoking is still the ultimate height of fashion!  Except well, it’s mainly men - walking around, their stomach paunch on show with pride; the ubiquitous cigarette dangling from their pursed lips. It's as much a part of their daily routine as applying deodorant. Oh wait....   The numbers are startling. A 2015 study put 68 per cent of the male population as smokers. That’s two thirds of men puffing away like there’s no tomorrow. And perhaps there isn’t, for many. It’s big business for the country. China’s currently the world’s largest consumer and producer of tobacco with 350 million smokers. The world’s largest cigarette manufacturer is the state-owned 'China Tobacco' - who’s nearest competitor is Philip Morris and he doesn’t even come close. The government is making a killing, literally.  In the early days, I watched on with amusement (and mild horror) as men and the humble but deadly cigarette seemed mutually exclusive. Bike riders and their cigarette dangling precariously as they weave in and out of the bedlam traffic…a look of James Dean minus the muscles and ripped shirt. I watched as middle aged men were shuffled out of the hotel by a certain hotelier for lighting up in the lobby, the lifts or even the toilets. They'd grunt in response as if it was the most ludicrous thing in the world to be told not to smoke. Who’s the white guy shouting in his broken Chinese, “Bu keyi Chou Yan!” "Don't smoke!" I watched as my driver, hurriedly stubbed out his cigarette, moments before I approached….I can imagine he was more than happy when I took long enough on the school drop-off for him to park himself at the bus stop and inhale, before a quick obligatory snooze, (if he was left in a car for longer than five minutes). When it rained, he didn't even bother getting out, instead, hanging out the window….his smoke billowing into the already polluted air...and stinking out the hotel car. The smell of stale cigarettes was a permanent fixture for most of my China days.  I'd see bus drivers sucking back as they roared around town, sometimes with a bus load of school kids on board. And of course there have been those crazy stories reported on social media, showing little kids in China's villages smoking! My expat friend's six year old is always pretending to smoke, because well it's what you do... and it's what we did as kids in the 70's. When I queried one of the drivers about the severe pollution levels in China and whether or not he ever feels the need to wear a mask, he just laughed, albeit sheepishly. Why wear a mask when you smoke a pack a day. True that. It’s a cultural calamity, men everywhere are smoking.  They hang about on corner streets, the cigarette a constant companion. They meander down alleyways, and gather around small rickety tables on miniature chairs playing mahjong, the cigarette a necessary accessory. Street cleaners in their orange is the new black uniforms, a broom made of spindly twigs in one hand, a cigarette in the other. At weddings or special events, I was always amused by the little bowl of ‘free flow’ cigarettes perched invitingly on the bar tables out the front. “Would you like a canapé or a cigarette with that?” In fact it's considered a sign of bad manners not to offer someone a cigarette when you light up. It’s still a perfectly acceptable form of “Guan xi” - given as a gift on many occasions in the professional world. Or as a bribe. Visiting the Longmen Grottoes in Luoyang, it’s 35 degrees and we are wandering aimlessly trying to find our way to a tourist hot spot. A hawker has his goods unravelled on the footpath to capture the weary tourist. We watch a golf buggy carrying two solemn police officers pull up… there’s an exchange of Chinese, I miss (obviously) but it wasn’t too hard to get the picture, “We’ll let this slide if you can give us a few ciggies, mate!” The hawker looked like he had just had a visit from the President himself. One officer saw me looking and attempted to pretend they weren’t about to take cigarettes in exchange for turning a blind eye. But as they drove off  I saw them ferreting the cigarettes out of sight. Compared to China’s puffing billy males, just three percent of women smoke. Scarily though, the number is increasing amongst young women as smoking is seen as more glamorous and sophisticated. Some, particularly the older generations, comfort themselves with the popular Chinese myth, that smoking is somehow less hazardous for Asian people. The powers of  ‘Mo gu’ - a black Chinese mushroom are still highly praised. A Chinese Traditional Medicine doctor tells me it's because they are cold and black and nurture the lungs like duck's blood.  Cigarettes can be acquired at a much lower price than in most other countries, the cheapest pack is seven kuai (that’s around US74c) so there’s little to dissuade a smoker from buying them. Mind you, that price will also get you a bowl of noodles for dinner, so it’s all relevant.  The Lancet medical journal warns if the current smoking rates prevail two million Chinese will die by 2030. China's National Health and Family Planning Commission is planning to implement a nation-wide ban on smoking in public places by the end of this year. But still, the World Health Organisation says only 25 per cent of Chinese adults have a comprehensive understanding of the health risks of smoking. It seems local doctors are among them. Figures show 60 per cent of doctors smoke, some while treating you! Advertising in mass media, in public places is (theoretically) banned and government party officials are banned from smoking during official activities -- but that's where it ends. In 16th Century China, tobacco was virtually unknown. In 1637 the last Ming Dynasty Emperor declared anyone caught selling tobacco would have their head removed.  While that's clearly taking things a little too far, someone needs to butt in and give China's people  some serious education. But just like a lot of bad habits in China, it’s going to take a little while for them to catch on and butt out. This is China.   **This is an excerpt from my book (working title) #ThisisChina -- stay tuned for more. ;)   … [Read more...]

5 Expat Mistakes and How to Avoid Them!

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If you're about to make your big move overseas, this guest post by Mint Mocha Musings' partner OFX hits the nail on the head! In fact, I wish we'd had it before our first expat gig in Hong Kong. These are easy expat mistakes to make, but there are also easy solutions to help you avoid unnecessary headaches while you’re away and when you eventually return home! (Um, let's not mention the time we packed Small Person's birth certificate with the storage and had to traipse around China to get a new one!) 1. Banking Blunders Not retaining an address in your home country. If you don’t have a residential address in your home country, it could be hard to maintain your bank account and difficult to re-establish your credit once you make your way home again. Many people change their on-file banking address so correspondence goes to a parent’s house or another relative. This allows you to keep one foot in your home country, even if you get most banking notifications via email. Closing a credit card account in good standing. According to the experts, closing a credit card in good standing could damage your overall credit score. While you don’t have to keep each and every one of your accounts open while you’re living away from home, you should be careful about which ones you decide to close. It's also helpful to have credit cards in your home currency for domestic purchases, even if you have to pay $75 a year to keep to keep it open, it's worth the fee. When you do close multiple accounts, do so one at a time over a period of time. The more accounts you close at once, the more damage you’ll do to your credit score, and the harder it will be to undo that damage. And for the cards that you do decide to keep open? Let your credit card issuers know about your move in advance. This will prevent them thinking suspicious activity is occurring once you start using the cards overseas and abruptly putting a stop on it. (Which trust me, happens a lot!) 2. Health Insurance Hazards Failing to have the appropriate health coverage.  Heading overseas, some people end up with too much health coverage and some with too little. Limited health coverage could end up costing you a lot of money because you'll have to pay for all of your medical expenses out-of-pocket. Too much health insurance and you’ll be paying twice for coverage that a government-funded medical system may already provide. Check what kind of coverage your visa or residency status offers and adjust your investment appropriately. You may be covered under yours or your spouses' new job, so check the policy and make sure it covers all family members.   Before moving to another country, do your research into expat health insurance plans because foreign nationals often aren’t entitled to subsidised or free health care. Bear in mind that cheaper plans may not always give you the coverage that you need and you may need extra, especially if you’re planning on travelling to developing countries, where the level of healthcare is substandard. In China, we were also with SOS which makes sure you can fly out of the country should you need to in an emergency. For more info check here. 3. Poor Preparation and Research  Arriving empty handed. Some expats have learned the hard way (i.e. yours truly)! It’s very expensive to get college transcripts, birth certificates, marriage certificates and other relevant documents, once you’re already overseas. If you’re applying for jobs, purchasing a property, or even renting, make sure you've packed the relevant documentation in your hand luggage, so you don’t have to waste time and energy waiting for it in the mail or potentially travelling to other cities with embassies etc to get what you need. This also stands for renewing visas, where in some countries, you need all sorts of legal documents. Learning the local language on the fly. It may be impossible to become fluent before you go (and just quietly while you're there) but not knowing the local language is definitely not a good reason not to go. Spending a few hours a week learning some basic vocabulary beforehand and during your time there, can be super helpful. 4. Tax Filing Failures Failing to file your taxes at home and abroad. Taxes become more complicated when you’re an expat. You'll need to meet the regulations and requirements of both your home country and your new residence. Asking tax experts for guidance will ensure you don’t incur penalties for improperly reporting your earnings when working abroad. These same experts will also alert you to tax breaks you can take advantage of as an expat. Not reporting foreign bank accounts and investments. In addition to filing your income as an expat, you might also need to file the appropriate forms to report foreign bank accounts and investments to your home country, otherwise, you could rack up substantial penalties. Financial advisors can answer your questions regarding what accounts need to be reported, and how to do it accurately. 5. Monetary Misfortunes Not establishing a reasonable budget. It can be tempting to spend a lot of money in the first few weeks of being an expat as you settle in, but expat life can be unpredictable, so it’s important to spend with caution. Keeping extra money aside for things like your visa, any necessary permits, your rent, lawyer fees, unplanned holidays, transportation and health costs can help make things less stressful in a foreign country. Not factoring in exchange rates. Your cost of living will change, becoming more expensive or (hopefully) cheaper, once you move overseas. When you’re tallying up your estimated monthly expenses, factor in exchange rates. Use OFX’s currency converter, in this blog's side bar and gauge how far you can stretch your money once it's been converted. You can also use the OFX/Clearfx transfer service to quickly send money online without being hit with high bank margins and fees, which we did regularly! For more about that you can read my post here. Here's to a happy expat life!  A Few Extra Tips for Success Set aside additional funds in a separate bank account. Make sure this money will be easy to access as soon as you need it, in case of emergency.   If you’re planning on starting a new business venture abroad, keep in mind that cultural differences can be blinding. Give yourself some extra financial cushion and don’t assume that what works in one locale will work in another.  … [Read more...]

From a SkyScraper in Hong Kong to a Hotel in China and a Townhouse in Suburban Sydney: Where’s Home?

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For the last seven years, as an expat, our housing situation has been anything but “normal”. For the first four years, we lived on Hong Kong’s sparkling harbour side, high up on the 43rd floor of a sprawling, shiny sky scraper in a tiny shoebox. 43 floors up seems considerably tame when you’re next to the world’s 7th tallest building, pushing 108 floors. An enormous shopping centre lurked a convenient lift ride away, sprawled out underneath our complex, complete with movie theatre, ice skating rink and the subway; next door, a mammoth construction site heaved with whirring jack hammers, day and night. It was all part of a buzzing, oriental whirlpool, we liked to call home. After that we brought it down a notch to live on the second floor of hotel residences in the middle of urban China. Bringing it down a notch only in height. We lived above a Rolls Royce showroom and outside the five star (China-style) bubble, we were flanked by shopping centres every which way, street carts full of unidentifiable foods, a 1300 year old Buddhist Pagoda; it’s tiered, concrete exterior the focal point for tourists from right across China, all year ‘round. Not to mention a bevy of unknown people, hanging out on our balcony at any given time, prone to peeking inside our windows for a sticky beak at those foreigners. Life pretty much hummed along to a backdrop of horns honking day and night and someone could always be heard shouting in mandarin …and let’s not forget the fireworks, erupting day and night! (Is it any wonder I mistook the rumble of the washing machine for fireworks the other day?!) And here we are now… a world away, down under in Sydney, Australia. Moving, was always going to be a shock to the system, as expats who've lived abroad for almost seven years - we knew adjusting would take time…And while there are days I want to crawl back into my box and be transported to my bubble in China and everything familiar, living in a fully developed country has its upsides! Everyone can understand me, for starters. There’s an urban expat myth, that puts seven years abroad as the magic number, after that, apparently, your chances of coming home are limited. Looks like we made it just in time. So far we’ve skipped from a hotel room to a temporary air b ’n’ b in inner city suburbia. After a 50 minute hair-raising car ride to school each morning in heart stopping traffic with a non-English speaking driver — walking the leafy, tree-lined street to school in seven minutes flat is an unfamiliar but pleasant concept. I’ll take the smell of grass clippings and Frangipanis over that incinerator smell of pollution any day. Everyone curiously asks why we chose to live in the particular suburb we’re in (not quite as much as we were asked why on earth we chose to live in the middle of China, I might add). Trying to decide where your future will be from afar is not easy and is a little bit like ‘eeny, meeny, miny, mo!” One friend has researched an entire town on the net, found the perfect street, with the best schools and even stalked out the neighbourhood on Facebook. (Just as long as you can see wine in the background at that neighbourhood shindig, I caution her!) For us, at this stage of the game it’s all about convenience. When one of you is starting a brand new job, and travelling and another is starting a brand new school and you’re trying to set up a new life in what is largely an unknown environment, you want to make it as easy as possible. We made a deliberate choice not to return to where we used to live a decade ago. As much as I loved my old life and the suburb will always have a piece of my heart, it’s hard to go back (oh and did I mention, ridiculously expensive). As well as asking where we're living and why, people want to know if we miss China. There's no easy answer to that but yes..and no will do. The thing we miss most about China and probably expat life (apart from our dear friends) is the adrenalin of being on a permanent adventure. I find myself awkwardly trying to explain how even a simple trip to the supermarket is an experience to be believed. As an expat coming home, that sense of adventure still needs fuelling, so somewhere new and unexplored to set up home, is appealing. Psychologists say, “people who go on multiple assignments tend to develop a global identity. They learn fairly quickly how to adjust in each place. And each new country will offer unique thrills and challenges.” Did I mention the challenges of house hunting in the world’s second most unaffordable city? For the past seven Saturdays, we’ve been up and at ‘em with a list of potential homes to start this new chapter in. Coffee in hand, we've covered every nook and cranny...the sat nav purring relentlessly, “At the roundabout take the second exit….” “Your destination is on the left!” (If you see a car driving erratically, that may be us China-dwellers). Pulling up at the 'house of the moment', we’ve gone from asking ourselves: Is she pretty? Does she have character? Where’s the walk in wardrobe? How big is the garage? to “Forget about the grass, is this small patch of concrete ok? Do we really need parking? Perhaps this bedsit will do!” Never mind about the gazillion planes flying overhead, right? Like they said in the famous movie, Castle, it’s all about “Location, location, location." In a city where the market property is so hot, it will literally melt your pockets, the competition is stiff! Come rain (the absolutely bucketing down kind) hail or shine (42 degrees worth) potential buyers have lined up in their droves, outside every. single. house. we’ve viewed. The ubiquitous real estate agent stands at the gate, her smile unwavering as everybody’s name and number is recorded as though it’s some sort of lucky draw. But we all know, it’s more like Russian Roulette. Once inside said house, the air is palpable. There’s barely a smile cracked among scrutinising viewers. Instead, there are sly, sideways glances, each potential buyer covertly checking out the competition, ears pricked…necks craning, trying to garner any tidbit of information on the seriousness of their competitors’ intentions. With your game face firmly on, no one makes eye contact, as you squeeze quietly past one another…in and out of bathrooms and down skinny hallways. Couples retreat to all corners of the property talking in hushed tones. No one dares give away their game plan. And lurking behind to butter up the agent is always a sneaky tactic. Others tap urgently on the walls, as if they’re hoping to find a magic doorway that leads to hidden treasure. Some even turn the lights off in an attempt to make the house look as dingy as possible….. oh wait that was us! Or when you set your heart on a house….stern looks are given, “Excuse me that’s my carpet your standing on with your muddy shoes!” And if you like a house, I mean really like it, you need to have your sh-t together, because if you can’t go for it there and then — you’re totally out of the game. During our military style house hunt, we sneak into an auction to see how it works, because, of course we’re newbies to this whole world. Small person grabs my skirt, hiding behind it. “What are we doing in this lounge with all these people mum? And why is he shouting??” Good question my love, there's a lot to shout about. We find the house for us in the nick of time. Time being of the essence, we see it twice for all of five minutes, before we’re pressed to make the decision of a lifetime. It’s quite fair to say, we spent more time looking at the car we just bought! Once our offer is made, we’re launched into the equivalent of the TV programme, The Amazing Race, in a bid to win the game, hotfooting it all over town to meet demands and deadlines. Then we wait. Finally we get the call, it’s ours - complete with cat flap and stairs - ultimate priorities for the Small Person. We’ve crossed the finish line by the skin of our teeth. Current challenge over. Finding our pocket amongst the madness, has meant compromises. Yet here we are about to move into a townhouse a few kilometres from the city, opposite a hairdressers (yes, ironic) and around the corner from school, a pub and a myriad of cafes.  From a strapping skyscraper in Hong Kong to a 5-star hotel in China ....and now a townhouse in suburban Sydney.  For now, it's our home. This is Australia. … [Read more...]

#TheBigMove: From Expatriation to Repatriation – The Ultimate Survival Guide

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When you go overseas as an “expat” invariably a lot of the ‘organising’ is done for you, under what’s known as an ‘expat package’. And while they are not seen to be quite as prestigious as they once were in the days of old, they do offer a level of financial comfort and help with acclimitisation.  Whilst they clearly differ greatly, from job to job, country to country, person to person, usually there are a number of perks that go hand in hand with living in a foreign country, whether it’s paid international schooling, regular paid trips back to your hometown,  rental accommodation and food paid for (or at least partly reinmbursed), a car, a driver, or both etc.   And often many of the countries today that require expats to work in them are still developing, which means for the most part, your lifestyle is going to be a lot cheaper than the one back home.  Many companies have a rating system for the countries they send foreigners into, depending on the level of hardship they represent. The harder it’s deemed to live there, the more perks you get to make up for it, not to mention 25 per cent salary weighting, in many cases. Xi’an in north west China is dubbed 'a city of extreme hardship' by many corporate companies, but sadly it wasn’t deemed so for us, with many more hotels in far more remote places in China, laying claim that title. Still, I’m not complaining, after all we did get to live in a hotel, and as much as that also came with its drawbacks, many of you will have heard me attest, yes that did mean I could dial 0 for room service, at any time, day or night!   Coming back the other way, though, requires a very different 'state of mind'. (If you have to look at You Tube when it comes to operating the vacuum, let’s just say, you’re not alone!)  Still, in the eyes of many (including your employer’s) it’s your home town right? Or at least your home country, so on the surface, you should be pleased as punch and find everything fairly straightforward.  Apart from a few acknowledgements, aka “we know this must be quite tough for you, settling back in” it’s just a case of quietly slipping back in and getting on with it, isn’t it? For us, yes, a lot of it is remarkably foolproof (except those dang vacuums). With English as the native language it makes for a pretty good start. Just how far can you go wrong? Being understood wherever you set foot is a major bonus. But don’t be fooled, setting up a new life is not without its challenges. First of all there’s that thing called ‘reverse culture shock’, which for all intents and purposes is a genuine thing! You may have read about our first few weeks Down Under in my previous post: Aliens Down Under. "What do you mean, you keep mistaking the rumbles of the washing machine for fireworks outside?! This isn’t China!" A friend says. But to me, the latter seems far more plausible. On a practical note, moving back the 'other way' can also set you back a small fortune, so be prepared!  A lot of the time, companies will foot the bill for specific things like flights home, temporary accommodation, storage of belongings etc, but they will often expect you to pay first and reimburse you, (sometimes much) later. Savings or a high limit Credit Card that works everywhere is a pre-requisite in a move like this. Even if you’re in line for a company credit card, it’s not always immediate.  So, when that call comes to move back home — as much as you’re either whooping for joy or (like us) quietly scared out of your wits  - there are some crucial things you’ll need to get onto, pronto! Without sending you into a pre-move meltdown (which is also highly acceptable), here’s the list to get you into gear! If anything, the big move will surely test your admin skills, not to mention your ability to multi-task especially when it’s all done in the middle of packing, unpacking, plane trips, hellos, goodbyes, old jobs, new jobs, old schools, new schools! REMOVALISTS Sometimes the company you’re moving home with will help you organise this, but often they won’t or perhaps you are moving of your own accord, so the buck stops with you.  You’ll need to find professional removalists asap and have a set date for it all to unfold.  Shipping companies want inventories of everything you’re sending and if you’re coming from a country like China, for example, there is a list a mile long of things that can’t leave the country with you (i.e. no prescription medication, cleaning products or food). Some things can be a little on the absurd side, ahh hello ‘no Christmas decorations’ so don’t be afraid to challenge them.   You will usually be required to get three quotes for your company, which means three different moving companies coming to assess your treasures well before the big day!  Once the removal company is chosen, they will want an itemised list and possibly the value of everything you intend to ship back. Can you even remember? How about what’s in storage? A handy tip, is to keep anything like this on file for future moves.  It can take two or three days to pack your belongings, so be prepared. And if you’re doing it yourself, we all know this is no mean feat. Even if you’re not physically packing your belongings in boxes, it’s a major effort sorting through a few years of taking shelter in one home. What seems like a small job can take weeks, so my advice - start early!  Shipping can take anywhere from several weeks to a few months so whatever you do, don’t forget to leave enough clothes, medications, kid’s toys, books, as well as important documents like birth certificates, marriage certificates, evidence of shipping, moving companies, bank statements, pay slips etc. (I cannot stress the latter enough)! In saying this, you also need to check how many kilos you’re allowed on the flight home and if you’re up for paying for excess baggage, or if this is something your company will foot the bill for. If you need to get rid of things, start early, advertising amongst friends or on relevant online sights. And it may seem obvious but if you're somewhere that hasn't involved travel (highly unlikely) make sure your passport is up to date with six months validity. Check your previous contracts and make sure there are no clauses about repaying things you’ve received in the expat package, i.e. kids school fees in advance.  If, you’re not moving back into your old home or are temporarily renting, make sure you’ve got storage set up for your belongings when the shipping does arrive. PETS If you bought a pet overseas who has now become a bonafide member of the family, there’s no way you’re leaving your pampered pooch or kitty cat behind, right? But first things first, you should really check the rules in your home country. In Australia, they are tough! (Who can forget Johnny Depp’s dog!) There was no way we were getting a pet overseas no matter how hard Small Person pleaded (and mummy hoped) because it’s a long, long wait in quarantine and an expensive exercise. Also check with the company repatriating you as the return cost may be part of your package. (Side note: Back home, currently scouting pet shops!)  SELLING/BUYING A HOUSE Perhaps you’ve got an investment property or a house that’s no longer suitable for your now larger family? You’ll need to look into selling this if it’s something you need to do to get a more suitable property. Set the wheels in motion as soon as you can. It’s not a quick task. Start with a call to your real estate agent back home. If you do plan to buy a house, at any time of life, this is a pretty big life decision. You’ll need to make sure your finances are in order. (Which means having a bank account in Australia or the country you’re going to) make sure they’re willing to give you a home loan, research the legalities in that city, like capital gains tax, stamp duty, real estate fees, solicitor fees etc. If you are searching from overseas or simply don’t have the time to look once you’re back, a buyer’s agent is often a great solution. House hunting every Saturday is a big commitment! FYI - a lot of banks won’t talk to you until you are on the ground.  TRANSPORT If you’ve been away for any length of time, it’s more than likely you no longer own a car… and if you’re like us, perhaps haven’t paid much attention to cars, models etc in many years. You’ll also need to research what’s out there and what’s affordable for you and your new life. With a new package that’s not an expat package, going home can be significantly more expensive. “Ah hello Nicole, that’s right, no mini convertible for you!” Oh and will you and your spouse both need cars? Can one of you take public transport? Don’t forget with buying a car, comes the added expenses of registration, insurance, tags for the tolls, finance, petrol etc. Thankfully as we found out, most dealerships will sort out the registration for you. Remember, you will need insurance before your car leaves the lot.  And if public transport is on your radar, check the current status. For example in Sydney they no longer take cash on busses and trains, it’s all about the Opal card. Oh and is your driver’s license current? You may be required to drive the minute you’re home, and if you haven’t for sometime, there’s every chance you’ve neglected to look at your licence. Can you even find it? Dig it out and make sure it’s current or start organising how to renew it.  HEALTH INSURANCE You’ve probably been covered under some pretty hefty health insurance as an expat… there’s every likelihood this won’t be the case back home and you’ll need to take out your own or potentially see what your company now offers and what that covers. Don’t forget, if you’ve been away for a significant period, things change in the local health systems. You may need to renew things like your local health card - as I found out, if you’ve been away overseas for more than six years, the equivalent in Australia, known as a Medicare card needs to be applied for, all over again!  You may also need certain vaccinations for your new country, particularly if your children are starting a new school which expects them to be up to date with the country’s specific immunisations. If you can do this in your current country, it will save one more thing to do when you arrive. If you’re in a second tier city like China though, it's clearly not possible, so check out which doctors will do it as soon as you arrive home.  ACCOMMODATION Next thing is to make sure you’ve got appropriate accommodation when you return home. If it’s not to your old house or staying with family…can you afford a hotel/serviced apartment until you find more permanent lodgings? Depending on the city you’re going to be residing in, these may not be cheap. Try Air B n B’s…which can be a little cheaper in the short term. Plus make sure you are set up with most every day essentials you’re likely to need. If you’ve got children, mum's desperate for them they’ll probably need to to start school asap! This can prove a catch 22 (and a major headache) with a lot of schools wanting you to be in the right ‘catchment zone’ before they “let you in”. Make sure you read up on this and know your options. One idea is to rent in the area you want your child to go to school in, but then you may also have the added pressure of buying property in that particular zone. Don’t be afraid to keep your kids home for a few weeks until things are clearer in your mind.  If you need to rent somewhere, and the city you’re returning to is not your old city, do some research on which areas will suit you and your family. Is it close to work? Will there be a commute required? What are the schools like? What’s around the area? And, realistically are the suburbs you like affordable?  If you’ve been living overseas in a city environment, you may find it difficult slipping back into suburban life. Perhaps you need to choose suburbs more reflective of your current situation, to ease yourself back into your new life and make assimilation that little bit easier? COMMUNICATION Once you come out of hibernation, you may very well need to get yourself a new phone if you’ve been on a company phone. Or like me, had a phone courtesy of my husband’s company. You'll also need a new plan or at the very least a SIM card. There are plenty of new options out there now so do your research. Most plans these days, do include the cost of the phone. It’s a good idea to check that where ever you are setting up home temporarily also has the internet, if this is also something that’s crucial to your daily life. NO FIXED ADDRESS As with anything like the above, most places (rather inconveniently) want an address from you, which can be a complete 'p in the a' when you’re in a hotel for a few weeks and trying to set everything up or in temporary accommodation. Can you use someone else’s address, a friend or someone in the family?  A lot of these “setting up” process also require pay slips, evidence of utility bills etc which can be frustrating, when you’re madly trying to explain you’ve just come out of Mozambique or similar. Yes, really! BANK ACCOUNTS During your time abroad, there’s a good chance you may also have let your bank accounts lapse. Check that you’ve got at least one account for your new pay to go into (often the company will set this up but it may not be straight away) and a credit card that can be used in your home country. If you do want to send your money back home before you get there.. we've always used OFX and they are a long time partner of Mint Mocha Musings. Click here if you'd like more information. NEW JOB If you or your husband is starting a brand new job, this is more than likely going to take up a lot of the spouse’s time trying to settle in and process everything. You’ll probably be used to it - having already made the big move abroad (most likely) for work and returning home is no different. Expect the unexpected and to feel unsettled….knowing this too shall pass. Rome wasn’t built in a day.  If you or your partner that’s not employed is also looking for a new job, it can be a double dose of chaos. Try to manage it as best you can and remove those pre-conceived expectations of wanting it all organised NOW. OLD STOMPING GROUND You’re also (hopefully) likely to have a lot of family/old friends wanting to catch up and see how you are and there’s absolutely no doubt, if you’re like me, you’ll be wanting to touch base with everyone, immediately. This is where you need to hold your horses.    Take it slowly and remember it’s simply not possible to see everyone, at. the.same.time! Just stepping out of your comfort zone into a new country, even if it is home, can be overwhelming and fraught with new experiences, good and bad. It’s no longer your ‘new normal’ and settling in is a process which hopefully your friends will understand  when you need to say 'no thanks' until the time is right. After all, don’t they say moving countries, starting a new job, selling a house and buying a new home (each on their own merits) are in the list of the top most stressful life events?  And, remember to breathe…. This is repatriation.  You’ve got this!     **If you missed my post on making the decision to repatriate….check it out here!  … [Read more...]