What’s the first thing you ask someone you’ve just met? “Where are you from?” Or “Where’s home for you?” Especially if you’re an expat, right. The words literally roll off your tongue, after, “Hi, I’m So and So.” And even if you’re not living overseas, it doesn’t take long for the inevitable question to crop up in conversation, “So, is this your hometown?” I never quite know what to say to that - "Well, I'm from Australia, but I was born in New Zealand....but we've been living in Asia, ummmm." Recently, I went back to my place of birth, New Zealand. It’d been 15 years! Needless to say, I was taken aback when the friendly lady at Customs said “Welcome Home!” And just quietly, it had me feeling a little bit nostalgic. Living overseas, as in not Australia, for a significant chunk of that 15 years, meant it was no longer a hop, skip and a jump across the ditch and well, life just got in the way. This time though, I had my husband, my Small Person and my mum along for the ride. I invited (some may say coerced) them into taking a trip down memory lane with me. We went back to the suburb I grew up in, we did a drive-by past several of my old houses, my primary school - still looking startling familiar after 40 years, and we pulled into the carpark of my old high school… which was also my mum’s! (Oh the memories!) We even, at my insistence, went down to the beach, where I made my first sandcastles and spent hours wiling away the dreamy days of an idyllic childhood with my grandparents, who’ve long passed. The trip back, got me thinking about the importance of place. Psychologist say, memories are cued by the physical environment. When you visit a place you used to live, these cues can cause you to revert back to the person you were when you lived there. The rest of the time, different places are kept largely separated in our minds. (Sorry if I reverted back to that sulky teenager who lived on a diet of potato scallops and milkshakes.) Does our birth place hold a piece of our heart, indefinitely? Growing up spending many a school holiday on my granddad’s boat, I'm definitely at my calmest and happiest when there’s water within my eye’s reach. Obviously, the factors that influence our identities are too numerous and complex to investigate in this single post but just how much or how little our birthplace shapes us, it seems, after doing some research of my own, is still debatable. For me, after 31 years in Australia, give or take a few, I feel more like an Aussie than a Kiwi. There’s little trace left of the former ‘fush n chups’ accent (except when I’m tired or have too many vinos); the sunburnt country long ago captured my heart. But here’s the clincher, I’m still not an Aussie citizen. Gasp! (Luckily, I’m not going into politics!) A couple of reasons have stopped me, mostly I credit laziness to this inability to take the citizenship test! I mean, I’ve covered more Australia Days as a journalist than I’ve had burnt sausages on a barbie. And in those early days, being a Kiwi in Oz, didn’t have much of an impact on those all important things, like free university tuition, etc.. But maybe, just maybe there’s a little bit of guilt or is it reluctance to let go? Does giving up your allegiance to your home country mean you’re saying goodbye to your past? (There was no dual citizenship back then.) I still find myself torn whenever the All Blacks are playing the Wallabies (I mean we all know who’s going to win, don’t we)? ;-) And I get a chill down my spine when the Haka plays - sometimes I have to stop myself from launching into the actions. When I’m called on to recite a song (and this happens more than you might think) I always choose the Maori song, Tutira Mai Nga Iwi, I learned in primary school. And I still miss certain things unique only to the Land of the Long White Cloud. Namely and most importantly my family members who still reside there, and I’m still partial to a Chocolate Thins biscuit, a Snifter or a glass of L & P. People often tell me, the fact that Ava, our small person, was born in Hong Kong and lived in Asia until she was six years old will have a big impact on her. Will it, I wonder? She’s what they call a Third Culture Kid (TCK) - a phrase coined by an American sociologist, referring to a child who’s spent a significant part of their formative years outside their parents culture. (Her Dad's English just to add to the equation.) People who fit the TCK bill have a tendency to mix and merge their birth culture with their adopted culture, creating one of their own: a third culture. Born in Hong Kong to a New Zealand-born mum, an English dad, (both her and him with Aussie citizenship) and three formative years in Xi'an China. Where's home? There’s no denying she’s more at home with chopsticks; and dim sum and rice are her favourite foods. She's more au fait with Chinese New Year than Australia Day, and perhaps it’ll be a favourite Chinese song she remembers in time over an Aussie one. Ask her where she’s from - it's undoubtedly Hong Kong. But Australia's blue skies and endless parks have definitely hit her sweet spot. For me, living in Hong Kong and Xian, my roots became more poignant than ever. So far away from everything I knew, we celebrated ANAC Day and Australia day with more gusto than I ever had on home soil. Even Melbourne Cup pulled on the heart strings. Experts say place does shape us at a fundamental level. We all learn to communicate and understand our world through sharing language, customs, behaviours, beliefs and values. And in all reality, doesn't each town, city, state and country has it’s own local vocabulary, accents, values, ideas, economies, industries, local newspapers and radio stations? In essence, it’s very own unique culture. Heck, in China each province has its own culinary delights. Winston Churchill famously proclaimed that “we shape our buildings, and afterwards, our buildings shape us. I’ve stolen this quote from Cup of Jo’s fabulous blog, by actress Helen Mirren, “Where you grew up becomes a big part of who you are for the rest of your life. You can’t run away from that. Well, sometimes the running away from it is what makes you who you are.” Identity is attached to a sense of belonging, usually through family ties or deep emotional connections and it's pretty evident we all bare some of the cultural and emotional legacies, whether good or bad from our hometowns. Environmental psychologist Susan Clayton says: “For better or worse, the place where we grew up usually retains an iconic status. Is it any wonder memories of finding and eating oysters off the rocks at five years old are forever etched in the bowels of my mind. The iconic Pacific oyster! It might not be home now, but saying “Haere Ra…..” (Goodbye) forever to New Zealand was never really an option And as Henning Mankell says, "You can have more than one home. You can carry your roots with you and decide where they grow." I like that idea. What do you think? Do you have one home or many? To read more about where home is, check out The Expat Magazine's article Where is Home? here Read, about our repatriation back Down Under here... … [Read more...]
And the Winner is….Bali! Trip Advisor’s Destination of the Year – Here’s Why!
I'll be honest, a holiday in Bali, Indonesia was not on my bucket list. The first time I went, Small Person was seven months old. Enough said, really. I was so sleep deprived I could've been on Mars. Since then, living in Asia, we've ventured to places like Thailand and Malaysia, whenever we were lucky enough to escape on a resort holiday. Down Under though, Bali is the place to go for many an Aussie. Around a six hour flight from the East Coast, it's not super close, but close enough. Over the years, I've heard a lot of sad and distressing stories out of this tropical paradise, from the Schapelle Corby Saga to the Bali Bombings, eery earthquakes and lately the threat of the island's volcano erupting -- so perhaps subconsciously, I was steering clear of this particular holiday hot spot. However, since we've been away, it's become my family's destination of choice for a quick pick me up holiday. So, with that in mind, living back in Australia, I was determined to get on board and see what all the fuss was about. Truth be told, I didn't have high expectations. I'd pictured a place bustling with every Aussie and his Bintang spilling out of bars onto the pavements in search of a cheap sarong. (And yes, there are places like that in Bali, hello Kuta! But it's definitely not the status quo!) We stayed at Legian Beach just north of the nightlife capital at The Stone's Hotel... (one of the Hotelier's of course). We were conveniently just a stone's throw from the family at Legian Beach Resort. (Mind you the first day, when my sister told me to cross over to the beach and walk along until I spotted the red umbrellas, I took her literally and we walked for kilometres along the scorching hot sand in blazing heat searching for the right red umbrellas. So many?) But once I found my bearings, I had the time of my life. What's not to love about shopping and pedicures on the beach! Not unlike Phuket in Thailand, it's got everything you could need on a holiday. In fact I would go so far as to say it has something for everyone. It's a big call, I know. But with it's beautiful beaches, accomodation to suit everyone's budget (just quietly I've got my eye on a villa for next time!), markets - loads of markets in fact (with things you actually want to buy ladies, and won't regret when you get back to normality), lots of culture and a gazillion restaurants and bars with great food -- Bali is pumping with possibilities! Oh and let's not forget the friendly locals. I was well and truly into the swing of things, I even got my hair braided. *Face palm* And do you want to know the best bit? Unlike a lot of island holiday spots, it's cheap as chips! From Nusa Dusa in the South, where five star resorts reign supreme in a picturesque setting, to Kuta and Legian -- Seminyak in the north with it's villas for the whole family - a place filled with upmarket boutiques and delicious day spas -- inland to Ubud with its quaint villages and inspiring galleries to Jimbaran Bay, the place they call the Beverley Hills of Bali and idyllic Lombok in the East -- you can't go wrong. While I just had a snapshot of what Bali had to offer, would I go back again? You betcha! (Just between you and me, I was hoping the island's active volcano might erupt!) And I didn't even get a hint of Bali Belly! (Word of advice, choose wisely.) There's a reason Bali was voted as the world's favourite destination for the first time ever in the TripAdvisor's Traveler's Choice Awards 2017. Bali, this time, you had me at hello. … [Read more...]
Back to China: The Place Where Anything is Possible
And just like that …. I was back, in China. My China Southern flight landed with a bump and we rolled along the runway. Out of the tiny oval window, I could see that familiar muddy grey haze stretching out, almost touching the maze of concrete highways in the distance. I grimaced. I’d forgotten just how gloomy it can look after basking in Australia, with its high definition backdrop for 15 months. Yes it’s been that long since we left Xi’an, so the opportunity to come back and co host the Cross Border Summit in Shenzhen was too good to pass up. I wanted to soak up everything ‘China’ … my writing mentor excitedly urged me to take notes, on everything, thus I was armed and ready! Stepping into the airport, oddly I felt nervous. I definitely wasn’t as gung ho or nonchalant as I had been by the time we left China after 2.5 years, living it. Cautiously I eyed up the police in buggies and the military guys with their guns, watching from every corner. I stood in line in customs wondering if my Chinese would come back to me. The minute I was through with my luggage, strangers approached me from every direction… “Taxi? Taxi? You need taxi?” “Bu yong xie!” i found myself automatically saying. “No need.” Phew, I still had some Chinese up my sleeve. I was getting picked up, or so i thought. After standing conspicuously in the middle of the airport for about twenty minutes, twenty ‘bu long xies' later I realised I did need a taxi after all. I knew better than to take up one of the random strangers hovering close to me and headed to the rank. At least they’d put the metre on. Stepping outside, I inhaled….ahhh that smell. Each country has it’s own unique smell, doesn’t it? Just what was China’s? Describing it has always perplexed me, but in the name of book research, I was determined to nail it. Stale cigarettes mixed with a hint of steamed noodles? Someone mentioned that, yes, that mixed with a whiff of decomposing food that sits outside restaurants. And definitely a dash of unwashed arm pits. Hmmm..still, something else? The drive was erratic, the horns constant and the buildings looming. Everything covered in a fine coat of dust, even the cars, I mused. I was busy taking it all in… until it appeared my driver was lost in his quest to find the Day Hello hotel. Suddenly I was back in Xi’an, with a driver who couldn’t speak English and no Sat Nav. I’d given him the address in Chinese, but it wasn’t enough. Construction and a wall along the main street meant we were going in circles. He started speaking quickly in Mandarin to me. Ugh… nope I don’t understand. “Ni zhi dao ma?” Do you know, I asked? Hopefully. Then I got something. He wanted me to call someone.”Ah Dui, Keyi.” (Maybe I should keep up those weekly lessons.) Meantime, he stopped the car in the middle of the road and got out to ‘take a look’…. I called one of the conference volunteers and handed my phone to the driver. Phew! Turns out we were just around the corner. I handed him 100 kuai — even the cash was dusty. The Day Hello hotel was impressive. Luxurious even… but English was limited, which surprised me a little. Shenzhen is one of China’s first tier cities, just across the border from Hong Kong. Until recently it was the fastest growing city in the world, an IT hub, filled with ideas, creativity and money! The front desk sent me to the first floor, lugging my own bags….even though my room was actually on the 9th floor. As I soon as I entered my room, the door bell rang. There stood a lady with a trolley full of loose oranges. "Ni Yao ma?" Fruits! Sure! The epitome of luxury in China. Bags dumped and it was on for young and old. I had the VIP dinner to attend, in an effort to get to know my fellow conference goers. From that moment on, for three days, I didn’t stop. Walking to the conference venue, I remembered the friendliness of the street cleaners and security guards. They all gave me that silent nod and a smile as I walked by. The Chinese music bellowing out of restaurants and shops and this nation of people that can sleep anywhere, any which way. At the summit, I met people from all corners of the globe…and admittedly whilst at the beginning I knew nothing about ECommerce or cross border selling…. by the end, regardless, I was enlightened and most definitely inspired. We were a mixed bag, but everyone carried that common thread - a lust for life. And I realised, I'd missed the diversity. There were the expats who’d come to China on a wing and a prayer for a different way of life, a chance to pursue their passions. I could see the same sense of adventure in their eyes as they told me their stories. That unmistakeable urge to step out of your comfort zone and really live. The thirst for Asia and it’s unparalleled energy. I felt it, and I remembered it. Oh the addictiveness of Asia. There were the speakers. At least forty of them (including me) talking on everything from international branding to Amazon selling, marketing, manufacturing, technology and the media (me), even cultural differences. China’s biggest YouTuber…from South Africa, Winston Sterzel, otherwise known as SerpantZA told us how he’d ridden the length of China on a motorbike. His stories were beyond your wildest dreams, his one million followers, among the most dedicated. Look him up! The young ‘dude’ from Minnesota who’s obsession with UFC boxing now sees him run a squillion dollar business selling boxing paraphernalia on Amazon and makes him an FBA Mastermind. The entrepreneurial skills of this 24 year old were mind boggling. The former UK DJ, now podcast and Amazon guru Danny McMillan, broadening our horizons with all guns blazing; the young and gorgeous Russian girl who blew everyone away with her enthusiasm and knowledge of China’s social media. Watch out for her! She's going places. The Chinese lady who runs a shipping company, alone; the Aussie guy importing much sought after western food into China. (By the way, thanks for keeping me going for three days on your muesli bars)! The serial entrepreneur from Poland and the Israeli with ten years in China wowing us with his inside knowledge. It was like a United Nations meeting of business gurus. The dedication of these people was palpable. By the end of it, people were buzzing and so was I - not just on the cheap 'bai pu tao jiu' (white wine) at the after party either! Oh and while it’s no secret China moves at a rate of knots, I wasn’t quite ready for the fact that cash is barely used anymore. I’ve even written a post on the possibility of China becoming the first cashless society and it seems to be well and truly on the way! The bar staff were dumbfounded when I handed them cash, and then disappeared out the back for ten minutes, scrounging for my change. We celebrated on a rooftop balcony overlooking Shenzhen and I knew I’d met friends for life. Taking an Uber back to the airport the next day, I was on a high….and when the driver opened the door and spat on the road at the toll gates, I didn’t even flinch. I was back. China, still a land of many contradictions, but a place where anything is possible. This is China. … [Read more...]
Bula! Is Fiji Worth Putting on Your Travel List?
Due to the hotelier's new(ish) work circumstances, I've been lucky enough to travel to Fiji twice in the last 12 months! (I know, tough life, right.) Yep, there are a few perks to having a husband who travels, a lot... and piggybacking on some of his work trips is one of them. Before this though, it had been a decade since I'd graced the palm fringed islands of the South Pacific. Admittedly, I wasn't a huge fan of Fiji. Sure, it has some great resorts and it's a stunning spot to get away from it all... especially from Australia - it's just a four hour flight. But to be honest, I was more enthralled with Asia's pockets of paradise - Langkawi, Phuket, the Philippines...etc. So when some of our expat friends who live on the other side of the globe (namely America) said, 'everyone here thinks Fiji is the be place to be' I had to think twice. Then a German friend said the same thing, asking me if 'it was worth the trip?' Prior to this last visit, I would've said no, in fact I did! "Don't come all the way from China, when you're surrounded by tropical holiday destinations...." But having been able to see more of Fiji of late... I've become a fan. A big fan! Fiji is a little slice of pristine paradise. Sure, it's no shopping mecca, which might disappoint some (although somehow, I still managed to charge a couple of 'resort' outfits to the room, while I was poolside...shhh...) And this time, we got to venture out to the islands, away from the mainland. Who knew Fiji was actually an archipelago of more than 330 islands? I got to see just how idyllic Fiji really is and what makes it so unique. White sandy beaches that stretch on forever and the clearest aqua-coloured water I've seen in a long time are just a couple of reasons. (Yep, no filter required on that photo!) Fiji is an extra special sanctuary that I hadn't fully had the pleasure of experiencing, having previously only stayed on Denarau Island, which is attached to mainland. Still, being there is not to be sneezed at, if you just want to chill out and enjoy resort life. Staying at the Sheraton is brilliant because it and the Westin are side by side, so you basically have two resorts to enjoy for the price of one, which means two lots of swimming havens and double the number of restaurants. Sheraton is beachfront but a little fatigued, while Westin doesn't have a sandy beach front, it makes up for it with some beautiful pools overlooking the ocean and mighty impressive facilities. Having dabbled in the outer islands, I would strongly recommend a day trip or overnight trip out to these. If you're a diving enthusiast, apparently Fiji is the bomb when it comes to soft coral. It's also a place that's littered with lush jungles and secluded waterfalls. Not only is Fiji a great escape for adults, it's also an exceptional playground for the kids...(take note, mums & dads) with more water activities than you know what to do with, from snorkelling, to jet skiing, paragliding, kayaking, surfing you name it, it's there. (And most resorts have great kids clubs!) Accomodation is also varied to suit everyone's taste, from the budget backpacker's bungalow to your five star fantasy resort. We even went to the island where they made the movie 'Castaway' with Tom Hanks. 'Tom, if only you knew the Sheraton Tokoriki Island was just across the bay!' The climate is warm and tropical with the best times to visit between April and October, mind you I was there in January and while it was pretty hot, when you're immersed in water 90 per cent of the time, 'hakuna matata!' But what really makes Fiji special is the locals. Super friendly and generally always smiling, these people are a delight to be around. In fact, a 2014 poll put them as the happiest people on earth! They also have a unique blend of cultures and age old traditions, well worth experiencing. Just make sure you get on 'Fiji time' as soon as possible and everything will be sweet! Oh, and make sure to use plenty of 'Vinaka's!" (Thank you)..... This post isn't sponsored by any organisation, but This site has some great tips for your next trip. Ps...It pays to remember there's also a lot of poverty in Fiji...in fact I published a post on this a few years ago, when my dad got to see the other side of Fiji. Have a look here. It's a poignant reminder to keep in mind the flip side of the coin, wherever you are. Disclaimer: And yes, my husband does work for Marriott, but all opinions are my own. … [Read more...]
Why My Six Year Old is Learning Chinese, Down Under.
When Ava was just three years old, she started coming home from pre-school spouting off words, phrases, even songs in Chinese, which to be honest, I thought was merely 'toddler gibberish'. That is, until we were out to dinner one night, and a friend pointed out the seemingly un-obvious, to me, “You know she’s counting to ten in Mandarin, right?” “Er, what?!” In Hong Kong, they like to start school at a young age; competition is fierce and in such a heavily populated metropolis it’s believed, education is the key to success. Born in the fragrant harbour, at the tender age of two and a half my daughter’s class had both a full time English teacher and full time Mandarin teacher. At parent-teacher interviews, the Mandarin teacher attempted to explain Ava’s progress in Mandarin. "Say what?!" I knew I had to up my game, so I enrolled myself in online Mandarin classes. (I wrote about the beginning of that journey here.) It was just as well, because within a year, we moved to the middle of China, where, unlike Hong Kong, English was rarely spoken. For someone who spoke only one language (and a handful of school French phrases), learning Mandarin (one of the world’s most complex languages) was suddenly at the top of our entire family’s ‘to do’ list, even the hoteliers! My Small Person, who was at an international school had Mandarin lessons four times a week during our two and a half years in Xi'an, and for the most part, detested them! I soon learned she was much happier getting in on my weekly tutored lessons, where our young, enthusiastic teacher 'Vera' played games and did craft with her, in Chinese. She also had a great friendship with our Chinese babysitter where the benefits were mutual. Ava would teach the babysitter English and she would teach her Mandarin. Despite my skepticism, everyone told me she really could understand Chinese. Actually in the end, we made quite a formidable team. She was far better at understanding, and I found it easier, speaking Mandarin. After seven years away, we're back in Sydney and to be honest, I’m a little surprised, despite Mandarin being the most commonly spoken language in the world (with over one billion speakers), it’s still only taught in a handful of Aussie schools. Australia might lay claim to being one of the most multicultural countries in the world, yet learning a second language is still not compulsory in many primary schools. For those schools that take it upon themselves, the language of choice is predominately French, German, Indonesian or Spanish; or in my daughter’s case, Italian (which just quietly, she loves!) Research tells us, learning any language at any age is beneficial and learning a language as a child, should almost be a rite of passage. Author of ‘Why Bilinguals Are Smarter’ says, “Evidence suggests the bilingual experience improves the brain’s so-called 'executive function' — a command system that directs the attention processes that we use for planning, solving problems and performing various other mentally demanding tasks.” Sounds impressive?! A study from Pennsylvania State University has found learning a foreign languages provides a competitive edge in career choices, enhances listening skills and memory, and improves the knowledge of one's own language. Multilingual people, especially children, are skilled at switching between two systems of speech, writing, and structure. As an added bonus, according to Macquarie University’s Senior Lecturer in Literacy in a Multicultural Society, Dr Robyn Moloney, says, “After learning a secondary language, subsequent languages are easier to learn - patterns can be recognised a lot faster.'' So no matter what language my now six year old is learning, be it Italian, French or Spanish, for now, I’m pretty happy. But, still, we’re keeping up the Mandarin. For her and for me! (The hotelier on the other hand has called it a day, and I can hardly blame him!) Some friends have asked, why we don’t we just let it go, now that we’re back on Aussie soil? Touche! “It’s a pretty tough language, isn’t it?” They query. And yes, it bloody is! Sometimes I'd rather poke sticks in my eye than have a lesson. The same word can mean four different things, depending on the tone you use! Chinese people will even admit to being confused by their own language! (Not kidding!) We definitely don’t need it the minute we step foot outside our front door anymore, or do we? In 2017, China is Australia's biggest trading partner. By 2020, Chinese visitors to Australia are expected to top the one million mark and pump as much as $13 billion a year into the national economy. Yep! One thing’s for sure, it’s the Asian Century and our Zhonguo Ren friends aren’t going away. Consider this: At the moment only eight per cent of the country’s 1.4 billion people actually own a passport. You don’t have to be a mathematician to work out what’s going to happen as the growing (wealthy) middle class increases. There are still millions of Chinese who’ve never travelled outside of China. Speaking at a recent ACRI ‘in conversation’ event I went to, Colin Mackerras, Australian Professor at Griffith University, said learning about Chinese culture and the language should be regarded as an asset. “There is an emerging Middle Class in China and it’s going to have a big impact on the world, I don’t think we’ve seen anything like it in history.” Australia China Business Council president, John Brumby says, "The booming Chinese middle class is attracted to Australia for tourism and education, based in part on the clean air, orderly cities and desire of wealthy parents to provide the best for their children." Having spent two years in an often extremely polluted Xi’an, where chaos reigns supreme and education is everything, he’s on the money. There are also increasing numbers of Chinese students coming Down Under to study. According to the Australian China Relations Institute, 140,000 to be precise! This new generation is a curious bunch, keen to see what the Western world they’ve often only ever seen in movies or on television shows like ‘Friends’ (it’s one of the few western shows they’ve been able to have access to) is really all about. So, why the resistance to teaching Mandarin in schools? Even the federal government says we should “promote, protect and even privilege the learning of Chinese in our schools.” The front page of the London Times ran the headlined story ‘Ni hao! The British school where half the day is in Mandarin.’ The theme - parents are hoping to ‘future proof’ their children at a prep school that immerses pupils in Chinese. It’s well documented that we have a natural ability to learn languages more easily at a young age. Professor of second-language acquisition at the University of Maryland, Robert DeKeyser, believes the ability to absorb a new language effortlessly begins to decline by the age of six. Having studied Mandarin alongside my six year old, I know which one of us has had an easier time picking up the language! Even so, I still get howls of protest when it’s time for lessons. To make it more fun, I’ve engaged a uni student from China’s far north to come over to our place and effectively play games in Chinese, and have a chat to me in Chinese afterwards. I figure as long as she doesn't hate it, i'm on track, for now, anyway. Chinese strongly believe in the proverb: “Shou ren yi yu buru shou ren yi yu!” You’ll know it as, “Give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach him to fish, feed him for a lifetime.” So while my small person likes to complain about “yet another Chinese lesson”, I plan to do everything in my power to make sure she’s ‘future proofed.’ … [Read more...]
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